Tomorrow is the first day of a new month, which for me usually means coming up with and starting a fresh monthly challenge. However, as my readers will know if they follow me at all, my challenge this month didn’t go so well.

In my defense, I did survive a hit-and-run accident, had surgery on my severely avulsed left calf, spent 2 days in the hospital, and sustained deep bruising over most of my body. I also had to get around in a wheelchair for a week until I could manage limping around with a walker and then crutches.

To everyone that has sent cards, visited me at home or in the hospital, or talked with me on the phone during this time, please accept my sincerest gratitude. A big thank you also to my therapist for being incredibly validating, my Toastmasters club for responding encouragingly to my accident speech, and my zoom heartfulness group for giving me a meditation outlet.

The first week after the accident I was generally upbeat and productive, to the degree I could be in my condition. Week 2 was difficult. I believe this was due in large part to the left foot drop that I’m sure had been present since the accident, but that I only started noticing about a week ago. I became very withdrawn and somber which ultimately led me into a personality loop.

After several days, I was able to use the DBT skills of willingness and mindfulness of thoughts along with some of my own contingency plans to release me from my mental prison. I realized afterwards that the cause of a lot of my emotional suffering was due to a formerly unconscious addiction I have to be athletically involved (running, biking, tennis, etc.), which if my foot drop persists might prove to be very difficult.

All that being said, I would like to repeat my challenge from last month. If you missed the post or are a new reader, you can see the specifications here.

To add a little zen to the month, I am going to also include a new small challenge. I will call it the ‘Lovingkindness during Distress’ challenge. Here are the details:

• When in distress, observe it without judgment. The first step to transcending any emotional suffering is to stop giving it energy. We give energy to emotions whenever we identify with them or attempt to push them away. Both of these actions only serve to further strengthen the distressing feelings. If you have incredible willpower and discipline you can push away your emotions for quite some time (sometimes even years) before having any crashes. However, in these cases, when the damage eventually does manifest, it could be catastrophic both for you and those in your orbit.

The alternative to identifying with or pushing away your emotions is to simply observe them. For me, it helps to actually vocalize what I am thinking and feeling, without any attachment or judgment. I’m just relaying the facts of my mental landscape.

• After briefly observing the distress, practice loving-kindness meditation. This can be done silently or out loud, depending on the situation, though I find it to be much more effective when said aloud, even if just in a whisper. To those unfamiliar with loving-kindness meditation, the core of it is traditionally contained in these 4 key phrases:

May I be free from danger. May I have mental happiness. May I have physical happiness. May I have ease of well-being.

Anyone practicing this form of meditation is encouraged to choose phrases that they can readily identify with during their practice. These are the ones I use:

May I be free from danger. May I be liberated. May I make a friend of my body. May lovingkindness manifest throughout my life.

After starting with myself, it is very effective to use the phrases for my family members, acquaintances in my life, or just all people in general. My goal in doing this challenge is to try to wire my brain so that it defaults to mindfulness and/or meditation during all times of stress.

Namaste.