This blog post will just be a quick update on this month’s challenge. I want to delineate a couple specific requirements I am putting on myself as part of the challenge.

• Print out new hierarchy document each weekend – I like to think about the upcoming week during PAT and print up a hierarchy of activities, tasks, and projects to focus on daily and throughout the week. However, this can often be neglected and I just reuse one from a previous week or wing it. Productivity initiation is made much simpler if I have a plan in advance of the tasks I want to complete and the order in which I want to initiate them. I will make doing this the first priority of my weekend.
• Look at and update hierarchy as needed each day – Usually, I take a glance at my google KEEP notes once at the end of each day to see if there is anything that can’t wait to be addressed. I commit to doing the same with my printed hierarchy each day, whether this is to peruse the day ahead or to tweak the schedule based on the current day’s experience.
• Spend 5 minutes on hardest or most dreaded task each day – I will do this the very first thing upon arriving home from work. I give myself permission to spend more than 5 minutes, but I want to spend at least this much time facing whatever it is I most want to avoid in a manageable way each day.

The other requirement I am giving myself this month is with regards to my former monthly challenges. Although I am getting very skilled at creating and maintaining commitments during a challenge, I am less skilled at navigating the aftermath. How can I ensure I will reliably incorporate aspects of the challenge into my daily life going forward?

For this month, whenever I think about a previous challenge I want to do one thing to honor it. This applies regardless of my written evaluation and intention about the subject. For example:

• Push-up challenge – Do at least one push-up between classes I teach during the day.
• Purposeful spiritual connections – Do at least one of these sometime during the day for any length of time.
• Constant smiling – Flash one for 2 seconds whenever I think about it.

Obviously, I expect much of the time when I do this, I will be motivated to do more. The focus is on initiation and momentum. One of the biggest aids I am developing to deal with low motivation during times of depression is to set lower expectations and quickly initiate tasks instead of doing too much meticulous planning or front-loading my agenda.

Namaste.

This next month’s challenge is quite simple in its concept. One of the most mentally debilitating habits I picked up when I first started experiencing major depression was procrastination. This developed originally as a coping mechanism. I was a perfectionist with regards to my own achievements. At some point in medical school, it became impossible to maintain my desired level of perfectionism, but I didn’t know how to find a middle path. I would try harder and harder and harder, and then distract myself with what was increasingly becoming my TV addiction, though I didn’t realize or acknowledge it at the time.

I still have a lot of healing work to do in the area of mental health, both with managing depression and getting to abstinence in the area of my addiction. However, I am trending in the right direction at this point. One of the habits I want to install in my life is the initiation of productivity. Not any specific productivity metrics, just choosing to initiate tasks that I would rather avoid either because they are difficult, confusing, or just require a little more physical or mental energy than I want to output at that moment.

There are 2 basic methods that can be used to initiate productivity: action-based methods and time-based methods.

1. Action-based – This involves taking a specific and simple action or series of action to begin a project or activity, but without committing to going any further than that at the outset.
   • Running – Lace up (figuratively – my toe shoes don’t have laces), throw a jacket on if chilly, and run down the driveway. If I do that, it’s a success!
   • Blogging – Log in to my website, create a new post, enter a title, and type one sentence into the text area. After that, I can stop and not write another word.
   • Finances – Organize 3 receipts/bills by date. Open up Microsoft Money and enter in one transaction. After that, I can close down the program and not think about money for the rest of the day.
2.  Time-based
   • Intensive exercise – Pick out one exercise (biking, push-ups, planks, etc.), set a timer for 1 minute, and start workout. Once the timer beeps, I can choose whether to stop or continue.
   • Big project – Set a timer for 5 minutes and start diagramming my plan of action for completing the project. After timer beeps, save work.
   • Karma practices – This could be meditation, check-in, skill practice, etc. Cast lots to pick one and do it for 1 minute.

One of the biggest hurdles for me in the area of productivity is just choosing to start things. I can put off even simple projects for months because of this resistance. Oftentimes, once I start I end up doing much more than I required of myself and enjoying it in the process. Of course, this isn’t always true; sometimes perseverance is needed.

I am not requiring any specific productivity metrics be met this month. However, I expect that if I look back after the month is complete, my metrics will be increased without me necessarily having that as the goal. Getting over the inertia barrier is my biggest obstacle in most cases.

The challenge this month then is to NOT PROCRASTINATE. Start doing whatever I am avoiding, even if I just do one thing or only spend 1 minute on it. Perseverance is optional.

Namaste.

I have been quite lax in blogging lately. I finished my month of daily yoga and reading over a month ago and am just now evaluating it. I did not start a new challenge this past new moon day (Sunday), and am not planning on doing anything official for the rest of this month. However, I am continuing to taper my TV show viewing time with the goal of starting abstinence in this area on my birthday, February 8th.

Without further ado, let’s talk about my challenge at the end of last year. I started it Thanksgiving day and the goal was to get me back into some mentally and physically restorative routines. Unfortunately, I contracted both an upper respiratory infection and a stomach bug in the first few days of the challenge, which got me off to a bad start, and which I let throw me out of conscious alignment.

For this reason, I ended up neglecting the challenge quite a bit up until the last week and a half. In the spirit of the challenge, I attempted to make up for the time I had missed and went above and beyond, completing my goal with Bikram yoga and getting pretty close with the reading intention.

With that recap, here are some observations I have about the challenge and myself:

• Make general and specific contingency plans for ailments – Coming off of my highly successful ‘Month of 30,000 push-ups,’ I had high hopes both for the challenge and for the ending of the year in general. These got derailed due to my double sickness and especially the worst raging headache I’ve had in my life. Sickness, just like depression, is a challenging situation that must be handled with tenderness and skill in order to remain in conscious alignment. I want to learn to give myself the freedom to achieve less during these times while still operating in a conscientious and productive mindset.
• Allow each new day to be a reset regardless of what happened previously in the month – I default to a strong all-or-nothing mentality quite frequently if I’m not careful. Prior to my major depression, this was a source of extreme motivation which I enjoyed. However, recently, it has only caused more depression and procrastination. Especially in the area of challenges, I want each day to be a new opportunity for engagement. I want to leave my self-judgment at the door when I start each new day and instead embrace the power of now.
• Attempt making up for neglected time, but don’t require it – If I am back on track with the daily specifications of the challenge, then it is appropriate to make plans for recouping whatever missed opportunities occurred earlier in the month. This is admirable and in alignment with the spirit of the challenge. However, this should never be the first priority. Every challenge is more about showing up on a daily basis than about completing a certain number of minutes or reps of something.
• Consider finding zoom partners for exercise – By the end of the challenge, I was completing a full hot Bikram yoga session every day, and I LOVED it! However, once the challenge came to an end, so too did the yoga eventually, even for a shorter window of time each day. I intellectually and viscerally KNOW the benefits of Bikram yoga and exercise in general, but still struggle (immensely at times) to consistently incorporate this without the incentive of a challenge. The other option, therefore, is to find more zoom partners to exercise with, like I currently do with my sister on Friday nights.
• Look into book exchanges and discussion partners – I absolutely loved getting back into some more physical book reading. There is just something magical about holding a real paper book in your hand as opposed to reading online. I completed an online philosophy book skimming challenge a year ago, which I enjoyed, but I still miss physically holding a book, even if I do have to get somewhat creative to avoid generating back pain or tendinitis from the activity. I think what would motivate me to continue this practice would be to find some family or friends to exchange books with and have regular informal discussions about them.

While not on an official monthly challenge right now, I am planning on getting back to posting a blog post once a week for the rest of this month. This shouldn’t be too difficult as I already have topics for the next 3 posts planned out (evaluation of purposeful spiritual connection, TV abstinence, and productivity challenge).

Namaste.

Consciousness focusing is a technique that can be used in reprogramming your mind to free yourself from emotional addictions. It is especially useful when you are emotionally “hot.” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is another useful reporgramming tool, but is best utilized when a person is emotionally “cold” or accessing the more rational part of their mind.

This month’s challenge is inspired by my desire to engage in consciousness focusing. According to Ken Keyes Jr.,

Your most deep-seated beliefs were burned into your brain by trauma or repetition, especially at times when you were highly emotionally charged. The theory is, you can change them by working up high emotional voltage then pounding in the new programming with repetition.

Consciousness focusing works best after you have thoroughly intellectually convinced yourself it would be a good idea to get rid of the addiction, that you would definitely be better off without it. You don’t want any last minute reservations coming up once you raise your emotional voltage.

Consciousness focusing is probably most effective in a large sympathetic group where you don’t hold anything back when expressing yourself (including yelling and crying). However, it can also be done in a quiet way, just repeating your chosen phrase over and over to yourself meditatively as you sit, walk, jog or ride a bicycle.

Below are the highlights of this technique that I gleaned from the Handbook to Higher Consciousness:

1. Welcome the people and situations that can help you become clearly and strongly aware of your addictions.
2. Stop blaming the outside world when you are emotionally upset.
3. Whatever you tell yourself at this time is absolutely crucial so be sure to blame all of your uptightness on your emotional programming.
4. Be aware of the programmed automation of your biocomputer when you get emotionally upset.
5. Find the phrases and thoughts that generate the strongest emotions when you are upset; shout them as loud as you can over and over again.
6. Build up the voltage of your emotional responses.
7. Cry as much as possible – for crying helps you to reprogram faster.
8. Keep telling yourself that you programmed yourself many years ago and that you can deprogram that which you programmed.
9. Don’t let any person or any of your thoughts cool you down.
10. Develop the confidence that you can absolutely be the master of yourself.

I have wanted to utilize the consciousness focusing technique for quite some time, since reading about it and resonating with the concept. However, I found myself lacking a supporting spiritual medium to facilitate the practice. This is one of the benefits to having a religious or spiritual belief system that you regularly reinforce. It allows for a convenient on-ramp to connecting with your higher self.

This month’s challenge is about creating and sustaining that on-ramp, so that when I feel consciousness focusing would be effective, I have a prebuilt system of ramping up my emotional voltage that feels familiar and safe.

My objective, therefore, is to have regular daily communion with my higher self (call it God-consciousness, the Universe, or whatever helps me to plug in and connect). I am going to borrow from one of the pillars of Islam for this challenge: Salat (daily prayer), and set 5 times throughout the day to engage in communion.

• Before sunrise – Specifically, between civil dawn and sunrise, which is approximately 6:45 to 7:15AM right now.
• Midday (after the sun passes its highest) – Specifically, within 1/2 hour after solar noon, which right now is between 12:30-1:00PM.
• Late part of the afternoon – This one is more broad, but I would like to try to aim for between 3PM and 4PM.
• Just after sunset – Specifically, between sunset and civil dusk, which is approximately 5:30 to 6:00PM right now.
• Between sunset and midnight – This one has the most latitude, especially this time of year when sunset is so early. However, I am going to make a point of doing my last communion practice 15 minutes or so before retiring to bed for the day.

I want to “pray” for a minimum of 20 minutes each day, and a minimum of 2 minutes per communion session, though I want to keep track of the time informally so as not to have a rigid time structure affecting the practice.

The only other criteria I have is that I want to do all of my sessions outside on some type of mat. For now, a yoga mat will work just fine, though I might look into buying a special “prayer” mat as the challenge gets underway.

What I do during each session is entirely up to me in that moment. Chanting, bowing, thinking out loud, crying out, and repeating mantras are all great ways to engage the time, but none of them are required. The point is to focus on connection with my higher self/the Universe/God-consciousness and use whatever phrases or modalities accommodate this objective.

Namaste.

Last month’s challenge was a smashing success! There was only one day, a Sunday, that I didn’t complete at least 900 push-ups (I think I did 450 or so that day), and there were only a few days that I didn’t get in the full 1,000. However, the last week of the challenge I added 100 extra push-ups each day to make up for any that I missed previously in the challenge.

All that to say, I am confident that I performed 30,000 push-ups during the course of the challenge. It definitely is one of my favorite to date. I think this is a great example of the power of 30-day challenges. I gave a speech this past week comparing 30-day challenges to New Years resolutions. I don’t think anyone would give a New Years resolution of doing 1,000 push-ups a day and definitely not for a year.

However, when put in the context of 30 days, it becomes a challenging yet attainable goal, especially if you break it down into small chunks that are purposefully scheduled throughout the day. Honestly, I don’t have that much else to comment on with this challenge, so instead of doing a more formal evaluation, I will just give a few observations and intentions.

• It was easier during the week than on the weekend. The biggest factor in completing the push-up challenge was not how busy I was. Knocking out 100 push-ups was relatively easy to do, especially by the end of the challenge. The most difficult part was remembering to do them. When teaching at school, each bell that rang was a reminder to knock out 50+ push-ups. Without these reminders, it was easier to get behind.
• Chest-to-ground push-ups are not for me. Why? Well, I don’t really have a chest. Some of this is due to my kyphoscoliosis, but whatever the reason, touching my chest to the ground doing push-ups was not feasible. I did practice with this a little though during the challenge.
• I will continue the practice during the work week days. Doing 50 push-ups between each class period was awesome. It was a great way to get some exercise in during the day and feel physically refreshed without breaking a sweat or being a time drain. Just great!
• I will feel sorry for anyone that does a push-up challenge with me. I enjoy doing abs workouts with my brothers when we visit each other. Abs exercises have always been tough for me, and I find doing timed workouts or pyramids quite challenging. However, push-ups, especially now after doing 1,000 a day for the past month, are as simple as walking.

That’s it. I have already picked out what I think my next monthly challenge is going to be: hourly consciousness focusing. But more on that when I detail the specs.

Namaste.

This month, I am doing a less physically demanding challenge, which seems appropriate given my body has been feeling absolutely miserable the last few days. I want to get back to reading again, and with Thanksgiving now and Christmas around the corner, this seems the perfect time to start.

Also, I have been experiencing a lot of new aches and pains recently. Perhaps this is due to the extensive push-ups from last month, or my current sickness, or some unknown factor. Whatever the reason, getting back to daily Bikram Yoga can only help and is something I have been neglecting for too long.

Here are the details for the yoga challenge:

• At least 30 minutes each day – Official Bikram Yoga classes are 90 minutes long. The ones I usually attend or view on YouTube are close to an hour long. I am just committing to 30 minutes, though if I have time and want to finish the whole class that would be great.
• Turn space heater on for some of each practice – Bikram Yoga classes are performed in some type of hot room where the temperature is close to 100 degrees Fahrenheit. I don’t currently have a membership to any studios or gyms with a hot room, so that is not an option. However, I would like to replicate the experience a little bit by starting and ending the practice with a space heater.
• Always start with Standing Deep Breathing and Half Moon Pose – Thirty minutes will not get me through an entire practice. I am fine picking up where I left off from the previous day, as long as I always start with these two introductory positions before doing so. They help prepare the mind as well as the body for the rest of the practice.

The reading portion of this challenge is rather simple. Below are the specifications:

• Plan on reading at least 1,000 pages during the month – This seems like a good number without being too ambitious. Any book counts as long as I am not reading it virtually.
• This comes out to between 33 and 34 pages per day – I plan on reading at least 5 pages when I first wake up, 5 pages during my lunch break, and 5 pages upon getting in bed at night. The remaining pages can either be spaced out throughout the day or read as a bolus after dinner.
• I can make up for days that I didn’t read the allotted number of pages – I want to get to 1,000 pages, and if this means making up for days that I missed, I will do that. However, the point of the challenge is to get into the habit of daily reading, so I am not allowing myself to “get ahead” by reading more than 34 pages during a day if I am already caught up.

I anticipate cultivating a spirit of mental and physical wholeness during this challenge.

Namaste.

I have not yet evaluated either of the last 2 monthly challenges I completed: constant smiling and projecting confidence in everything. This post will do just that by looking at 3 things for both challenges: what went well, what didn’t go well, and how I am going to incorporate what I learned into my life going forward. Let’s begin!

– – – – – Month of Constant Smiling – – – – –

What went well:

• Increased optimism – Although I didn’t directly experience an increase in joy or happiness, I definitely noticed an uptick in my optimism level. Sometimes this led indirectly to more happiness, but oftentimes it just gave me increased focus and perspective while navigating the various tasks I accomplished during the day.
• Increased friendliness – This one was palpable. Sometimes it was so much, I didn’t even like it. However, on the whole, I felt much more connected to the people around me.
• Increased alertness – This one was also influenced by the challenge addendum I added halfway through the month. Choosing to consciously engage with whomever I came in contact with, however brief, really put a spark into my step.
• Smiling began to feel more comfortable – It never felt natural, but it did start to feel more familiar, which I guess it would have to be. As it grew more familiar, I found I was also able to savor moments of peace I would otherwise have just blown by without thought.

What DIDN’T go well:

• Playing musical instruments – Smiling while playing the violin or while playing the piano just doesn’t work! However, to honor the challenge, I did so to the best of my ability. Not only did it just feel wrong, but it interrupted my ability to focus.
• Zoom calls – Connecting with people virtually always feels a bit weird to me, even though I do it quite frequently. You have to stare at the camera instead of people’s eyes to have good eye contact and it appears as if everyone is looking at you even when they aren’t. Adding constant smiling on top of these issues is just another complication.
• Discipline issues in class – I tend to be a little too serious when teaching (or at least I think so) and so constant smiling put a refreshing lightness into my lessons. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work so well when dressing someone down for bad behavior.
• Extra amount of mental effort required – This goes without saying. Most of the time it helped more than it hindered. However, when working on something that required every scrap of my attention, having to use a small part for this challenge wasn’t optimal.

What to incorporate going forward:

• Open-mouth smile whenever around others as a default – Generally when around others or in a social situation, I find myself feel more extraverted, confident, and cheery if I choose to consciously smile.
• Can rest with half-smile – If I need a break, switch to this instead of nothing. This preserves the same emotions but without the added muscle strain.
• Also, can make any other facial expression I want as long as it is intentional – Flow with my emotions and the situation. I can have an angry expression, a sad expression, a dreamy expression, or any other expression I want as long as I am aware of it and embrace it.

– – – – – Month of Projecting Confidence in Everything – – – – –

What went well:

• Increased resolution – Projecting confidence didn’t increase my sense of confidence, but it did affect my resolution. Whatever my feelings about a project or situation, I found myself much more willing to throw myself into it.
• Increased order – Constantly deferring to other people can be chaotic. Having simple rules like always walking on the right side of any hallway makes life more simple overall.
• Reduced pain/discomfort when by myself – Choosing to walk and comport myself with perfect posture in my daily routines definitely helped with my chronic pain, if only a little bit.
• Open body posture when sitting improves equanimity – I feel more alert, less prone to distraction, and more willing to leap up and get into action when adopting an open body posture. This is especially the case when sitting.

What DIDN’T go well:

• Increased pain/discomfort when around others – Although being more mindful of my posture was helpful when by myself, it was not the case when with other people. I found myself being more stiff and less able to fidget and flow which is the key to managing my chronic back pain.
• Nearly decked one of my nephews – I visited my sister and her family in Denver, CO during the month along with one of my brothers and his family. Upon throwing open the exterior house door, I narrowly avoided smashing one of my little friends.
• Eye contact did not become more comfortable – I have found initiating and maintaining eye contact to be difficult as far back as I can remember. Choosing to project confidence did not make it any less awkward. However, I soldiered through it somehow.
• Made me more self-conscious – Because it was acting in a manner to attract attention rather than divert it, I became more absorbed in exactly how I was doing everything. Not only was this a focus drain, but it also tended to feed back into more back pain.

What to incorporate going forward:

• Maintain semi-perfect posture when by myself – This mainly involves puffing my chest out slightly, pulling my shoulders back and down slightly, adopting an open body posture when sitting, and standing with feet touching. I am only going to think about this when by myself, however. When around others, I want to focus more on maintaining a flow with my body and movements.
• Walk on the right side, mostly – In hallways and corridors, I want to commit to the right side in all circumstances. However, when going around corners or in open environments, I will do whatever feels right while trying to maintain some semblance of order.
• Throw open doors as a default – Yes, yes, yes! I love the feeling of conquest I get when I do this. However, when there are small kids lurking around, maybe I will do so with a hint of caution.

Namaste.

I started the challenge this past Wednesday. This comes at the perfect time, since I have grown a bit lax with exercise lately. I am only a few days in and already I feel extremely energized by it.

Without further ado, I will move on to the details and specifications of the challenge. I purpose to complete 1,000 push-ups every day during this month. During the week, this is my plan:

• 100 First thing in morning – I plan on doing these immediately upon rising.
• 100 Before first period – I usually get to the school where I teach around 7:15AM and the initial first period bell rings at 7:45.
• 100 During “breakfast” – High school has breakfast from 8:35-8:50.
• 50 Between 2nd and 3rd periods – I have 3 minutes between each class period I teach.
• 50 Between 3rd and 4th periods – Ditto above.
• 50 Between 4th and 5th periods – Ditto above.
• 50 Between 5th period and tutorials – Ditto above.
• 50 Before lunch – I get 30 minutes for lunch after tutorials.
• 50 After lunch – Will do these before the initial bell for 6th period.
• 50 Between 6th and 7th periods – Ditto above.
• 50 After 7th period – 8th period is my conference period, which usually just involves grading and lesson prep.
• 50 Before leaving for the day – Alternatively, I can do 50 upon arriving home.
• 50 By 8pm – This is when I start my end-of-day free time; I will do another 50 before then.
• 200 During new day protocol – I do 10 minutes of intensive exercise as part of my new day protocol beginning at 8:30pm. I will continue doing the 200 push-ups during this time that I have been doing prior to the challenge.

TOTAL = 1,000 push-ups

On Saturday and Sunday, my plan is as follows:

• 100 First thing in morning – Same as during week.
• 100 before breakfast/brunch – I have my first meal later in the morning on the weekend.
• 60 at the start of every hour between 10:30 and 8:30 (x10) – Subtotaling 600.
• 200 during new day protocol in evening – As per above.

• 100 First thing in morning – Same as during week.
• 100 before breakfast/brunch – I have my first meal later in the morning on the weekend.
• 50 at the start of every hour between 8:30 and 8:30 (x12) – Subtotaling 600.
• 200 during new day protocol in evening – As per above.

As far as the type of push-up, I am not setting any particular requirements starting out. I may progressively require a certain percentage of nose-to-ground or chest-to-ground push-ups as the challenge continues.

Obviously, what I actually do on any given day could be different from the above, but this will be my initial plan. My next post on here will be a double evaluation of the last 2 monthly challenges: constant smiling and projecting confidence in everything.

Namaste.

The title of this post should actually be: 3 weeks of Projecting Confidence in Everything. This is due to the fact that I am starting the challenge almost a week into this month, which began on Monday. I had full intentions of writing and posting this last Sunday, but I slipped up in applying the harm reduction strategy for my addiction. More on that in next week’s post.

What this month will entail:

• Stand with shoulders back and chest puffed out. I feel like I am channeling serious Jordan Peterson vibes with this one, but screw it. Perfect posture, for me, can be extremely difficult. This is because standing up straight can sometimes exacerbate my chronic back pain. Often, I allow my back to roll into whatever position minimizes discomfort. The focus with this one is not holding some rigid posture, but to move into this frequently throughout the day. Also, if discomfort arises, default to physical conditioning instead of slouching.
• Default to smiling though don’t require it. I will do a formal evaluation of last month’s challenge later this month. However, one thing I noticed is that when I smiled, my confidence level generally increased, if only slightly. I am not on that challenge anymore, but want to mostly continue the intention of it.
• Never slink. I avoid conflict to a fault. This extends to a lot of social scenarios where instead of asking or telling someone to get me something or move out of the way, I take the path of least resistance and slink around them. No more!
• Walk purposefully on the right side of hallways. This comes from the army and is quite effective. Always choose to walk distinctly on the right side of any hallway and expect the same from everyone else (same as driving a car). In this case, I should always “play chicken” since I am on the right (literally!) and there exists no physical danger.
• Never be the first to break eye contact. Or at least not until I have held it for 5 seconds. As someone that has been socially awkward ever since I can remember, eye contact protocol has always felt like a foreign language to me. I manage it fairly effectively I think when giving public speeches, but am horrible at interpersonal interactions.
• When standing, have feet be touching or at least very close together. First off, this adds slightly to my height, which never hurts. Also, the closer together my feet are, the more my lower back feels engaged which helps with the achy pain I experience there. I don’t care much for maximum stability, as I don’t like to remain in one place for long anyway!
• When sitting, don’t cross legs. Or ankles for that matter. A big part of projecting confidence starts with an open body posture. This means never crossing arms or legs. I already have worked on maintaining a more open upper body.
• Throw open doors whenever possible. Obviously, discretion should be applied here. In any case, I want to exhibit more assertiveness any time I enter a room, door or no door. This helps set a confident tone for everything I do in that environment.

I did a related challenge to this one several years ago, involving intentional decisiveness. This month, I am focused more on the physical manifestations of confidence, and projecting strength even if I feel conflicted or unsure. Wish me luck!

Namaste.

This year, as everyone knows, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. I have been solidly on the pro-choice side of the abortion debate since my early 20s, but it was never one of the most important issues for me. Partially, this was due to the fact that I was a man (thus not in need of reproductive rights) and partially this was due to all of my family being vehemently pro-life.

Also, when voting for most political offices, the candidates’ stance on abortion specifically seemed to me not particularly important. Whatever their animus with it might be, Roe v. Wade was the law of the land. Obviously, this is different when it comes to electing the President with the power to appoint Supreme Court Justices. However, I was a bit jaded to this as well, because mainstream liberals would always trot it out to shame people into voting for a corrupt, corporate democratic candidate.

Since the reversal of Roe, I have thought a lot more about the issue. When something is the default position due to the current laws, whether I should or not, I feel less need to justify my support of the issue. However, that has changed now.

One of the biggest problems with the abortion “debate” is the terminology that is used. “Pro-life” implies that the other side is anti-life or pro-death. “Pro-choice” implies that the other side is anti-choice. Neither of these is true, though there are certainly people on each side who could be said to fit these descriptions. In saying this, I am not implying that being anti-life or anti-choice is bad. I simply mean that the labels that are commonly used don’t accurately frame the issue.

You can be pro-life and pro-choice, at least in the strict sense of the terms. This is how I viewed myself for several years in my early 20s. I believed generally that abortion was wrong, but I also had very intelligent friends that disagreed and I could understand their perspective. Therefore, it seemed best to leave this moral calculation up to each individual and their health providers.

This reminds me of a meme about the difference between liberals and conservatives. Basically, the meme says that when conservatives don’t like something, they don’t do it; but when liberals don’t like something, they ban it for everyone. Obviously, the meme is over-the-top and unnuanced. However, you could flip the script on this particular issue:

If a liberal doesn’t like abortions, they don’t get an abortion. If a conservative doesn’t like abortions, they force everyone not to get one!

To me the real question in this debate is not “when does life begin” or even “when does personhood begin,” but rather “what is the fundamental right?” This is where the majority of the time spent discussing this should be spent. Is the most basic right that citizens of a developed country have the “right to life” or the “right to bodily integrity”?

Answering this question doesn’t necessarily put you squarely on either side of the issue, but it does constrain the possible positions you can have. It also forces a person to adopt other positions if they want to remain consistent.

Right to Life – Many people argue that having a right to life is the bedrock value upon which society is built. What this translates into is “killing is bad and people that kill should be punished.” The obvious question, though, is who does this apply to:

• Every conscious entity = Mandatory veganism!
• Every human being = Get rid of death penalty, war, guns?
• Every “innocent” human being = Punish people who attempt suicide?

Now, I am not trying to demonize any of these positions; I simply want people to be intellectually honest and consistent with their conclusions. Also, if life is the thing we should fundamentally be preserving, this raises a lot of interesting ethical questions:

• Should people be forced to donate organs to save lives?
• Is it acceptable or even virtuous to violate one person’s “right to life” if it saves 10 other people?
• Should there be laws against “unhealthy” behavior that shortens people’s lives?
• Should every miscarriage be criminally investigated? (I find this hard to argue against if you are on the pro-life side, yet I don’t think I have ever heard anyone suggest doing this. Why not?)

Right to Bodily Integrity – As a social libertarian (not an economic one!), I consider bodily integrity to be the pivotal right the government should be protecting and respecting. The question though is, how far does this extend:

• To every conscious entity = Again, mandatory veganism!
• To every human being = Then this would apply to a fetus as well.
• To every “person” = Sure, but when does a human being “become” a person? Also, what about people in persistent vegetative states (PVS) that have NO cortical activity? Can they really be said to be a “person,” and if not should they be denied this right?

Again, I don’t say this to demonize any of these positions, but simply to point out the costs associated with holding them. Personally, I subscribe to the last position and define ‘personhood’ as having cortical function. I wouldn’t grant fetuses with no cortical activity any rights and nor would I do so with people in PVS. However, I still give tacit endorsement to violating the “personhood” of animals, at least to some degree, so there is still a lot for me to intellectually work out.

Without even really getting into the meat of the various arguments for or against reproductive rights, I feel anyone should be able to realize: THIS IS A VERY COMPLICATED ISSUE! And honestly, this realization, more so than anything else, is why I remain firmly on the pro-choice side. Even if I again get to the point where I view taking any innocent life as morally wrong (a position I do NOT currently hold), I will still remain pro-choice because I believe this will always be far from a black-and-white issue.

Anytime something is morally gray, my default is to leave it up to the individual to decide on the morality of it, not the government. I find this a very difficult position to argue against. Now maybe someone believes abortion is a black-and-white issue. My goal is to convince them otherwise, but not necessarily to change their personal moral view on the topic.

More thoughts on this topic would better be facilitated in a verbal setting. Perhaps I will upload a YouTube video on the topic (I’ve been meaning to revive my channel for a while).

Namaste.