In the emotion regulation section of the DBT Skills Training Handbook, every uncomfortable emotion has aftereffects of ‘narrowing of attention’ and ‘rumination.’ This is great when the troubling emotion is preceded by a truly life-threatening situation. However, in my life, this is rarely the case.

In addition, as someone with INTJ tendencies, rumination is my default operating system. When my mood is generally optimistic, this can be a wellspring of insight and motivation. Lately, this has not been the case. My attitude noticeably worsened a couple of weeks ago with confirmation of the delayed healing of my fractured foot.

First, I want to define what rumination is. Rumination means having constant and repetitive thoughts about a problem, its cause, and consequences. In my experience, it manifests as a cluttered and unfocused mind, with catastrophic undertones. I often find myself addicted to the process, while at the same time recognizing its futility in the current moment.

Here are the specifications of the challenge:

• Default to direct action or meditation – This is the principal and most important objective. If I feel I really “need” to ruminate, then set a timer for 3 minutes. After that time, wholeheartedly take some action. A brief meditation session is always an option, assuming the situation allows it. I also want to encourage casting lots, which has proved effective for me in the past.

• Smile whenever I am walking – It is much more difficult to ruminate when smiling. There are so many things I can occupy my mind with, from observing the present moment to meditating upon the 4 noble truths to reviewing the components of each system of the human body. When I push past the urge to remain stuck in my own drama, there is always joy or at the very least a sense of release at the other end.
• Commit to honoring 20 minutes of planned social time each day – I have felt more depressed generally over the last month. This drives me to more rumination, even though I know it is mostly unhelpful. Socializing is a tonic, but sometimes I don’t feel I have the energy to attend a 1-hr or longer event. I can always show up, however. That is doable. Oftentimes, just doing so overcomes the activation energy and the rest is energy-generating.
• Make one impulse buy each week – I inherited a sense of extreme frugality from my parents, which in a general sense is fine. However, it can cost me an enormous amount of time and energy to even make small purchases. I want to short-circuit that some this month. I will limit the amount to under $50 per purchase for my own peace of mind.
• Budget in wasted time each week – Time efficiency is a core value that I hold which can easily became toxic. I easily get frazzled when I feel I or others have “wasted” my time, all the while acknowledging that what counts as wasted time is completely subjective. Each week, I will force myself to “waste” 2 hours. Either this will happen to me throughout the week, or I will go on an unnecessary outing on the weekend.
• Send at least one message per week without any thought – I have severe FOPO: fear of people’s opinions. It is so bad that I often reread simple text messages or emails several times before sending them. At least once each week, I want to type out a response and immediately hit send without looking back.

Toxic rumination often leads me to engage in unskillful and destructive habits like binging TV shows to escape the mental quagmire. With my successful reduction of TV show consumption (which I intend to completely eliminate over the next month), being proactive about engaging my mind in productive ways is critical.

I feel this month is extremely overdue, but was also incredibly nervous to begin. I am nearly one week into the challenge and can already report less depression and more joie de vivre.

Namaste.

I have avoided discussing any of my spiritual beliefs at length in a public setting, and don’t even divulge much in more private settings. I think one of the main reasons for this is that I can’t really do so without getting into epistemology, which is not a light topic to dive into and can jeopardize the very essence of the beliefs themselves: as tools for mystical experiences.

After listening to a presentation a couple weeks ago at the Unitarian Universalist fellowship I attend in Longview, I became very interested in the concept of mysticism. I realized my attachment to finding credible explanations for spirituality distracted me with concepts about the nature of reality or the attributes of God, when what I really seek is simply the experience of the Divine, without borders. I think this is what mysticism is at its core.

With that in mind, any spiritual beliefs I adopt have the sole purpose of creating a substrate upon which mystical experiences can become a natural outgrowth. The point is not to explain the experiences or use them to explain the world. However, if installing some beliefs allows these experiences to be more readily accessed, I am passionately in favor of that, both for myself and those around me.

The following are the guardrails I think can ensure spiritual beliefs accomplish this purpose, without becoming tools to judge other people.

1. Subordinate to scientific consensus – For me, this is the bare minimum of middle way with regards to curiosity and conviction. I want to stay infinitely curious about understanding how the universe behaves, while also forming deep convictions about my place and role within it. The ultimate goal is to arrive at an integrative understanding of spirituality from the realm of science.
2. Untethered from a particular historical or scientific claim – What comes to mind most prominently for me in this regard is the claim of Jesus’ bodily resurrection. When I was a Christian, all of my mystical experiences and related beliefs were wrapped up in this claim, and all of them got shattered when I lost my conviction in the veracity of this claim. What a waste! I could have saved myself half a decade of spiritual emptiness if I had allowed my experiences to be valuable for their own sake.
3. Divorced from objective moral judgments – Mystical experiences are the very definition of something that is NOT objective truth. I believe subjective truth is every bit as valuable as objective truth when it comes to our personal lives. However, to the degree that morality can be viewed as objective, it can only be done by using objective or logical metrics – like science and ethical theories.
4. Above argumentation – This is the last item on the list, because I reserve the right and even responsibility to do so at times when others don’t abide by the first three principles. If others disregard science because of their religious beliefs, I will challenge that. If others say their religious beliefs are the only truth because of some historical event, I will question that to learn more. If others use their spiritual beliefs to justify an action or a policy I believe to be unjust, I will challenge their framework. However, apart from these exceptions, I seek only to understand in a meaningful way the beliefs of others in order to validate them on their spiritual journey. I expect the same in return.

Now, if you have spiritual beliefs that follow all of the above, but there is no experiential basis that drives them, the whole enterprise is worthless. The POINT is the experience of the divine, however we understand that. From that experience, there will undoubtedly arise questions of a scientific nature that demand to be explored or simply a desire to more fully understand the science we know. The experiences will probably be heavily inspired by our historical and philosophical understandings of the world. They will also be a major input for what we believe to be moral in our personal lives.

If I had to limit myself to one quality that would guarantee a responsible approach to spirituality, it would be humility – the recognition that while the experience of the divine is real (perhaps the most real thing there is), any attempt to explain or ground it will necessarily be lacking. As the Dao De Jing so eloquently states:

“The mere fact of discussing Tao makes it not Tao.”

This doesn’t mean it’s wrong to try, just that any description will always be far from the real thing.

I think my approach to spiritual beliefs might be similar to the model advocated for by the late Stephen Jay Gould of non-overlapping magisteria, or NOMA. However, without more thorough research, I wouldn’t make a hard claim to that effect. I think figuring out how to navigate the relationship between spirituality and science might be the most difficult middle path to walk.

So, how can we talk about our spiritual experiences and beliefs honestly and authentically without descending into dogmatism. I actually think it is a lot simpler than one might think. It involves describing felt experiences instead of stating perceived facts. How? Insert “I feel like” at the beginning of any description of your mystical sensations or metaphysical conclusions.

NOT: “The Holy Spirit filled me with wisdom and understanding.”
Instead: “I felt like the Holy Spirit filled me with wisdom and understanding.”

NOT: “Healing energy flowed from my body to theirs.”
Instead: “I felt like healing energy flowed from my body to theirs.”

NOT: “Our physical bodies will die, but the eternal conscious mindstream will continue on.”
Instead: “I feel like our physical bodies will die, but the eternal conscious mindstream will continue on.”

Dropping the word ‘like’ might be warranted if describing a particularly potent experience or important belief. However, this should be done sparingly and with caution. I think it entirely possible and desirable for people with widely differing spiritual beliefs to nonetheless be able to learn from and validate each other. It requires a big dollop of humility, which can be difficult to develop, but is more than worth it in the end.

Namaste.

To date this year, I have undertaken 2 monthly challenges. Both of them I completed with varying degrees of success. The journey was rather bumpy – my boot and resulting lack of mobility being a major factor.

I am adopting a new paradigm with regards to challenges. Previously, I would split my evaluations into two sections: What I learned and What I will continue to do going forward. I want to declutter my priorities and optimization in life and to accomplish this I need to let completed challenges stay in the past. What this means is that, while I will continue to assess how things went and what I learned, I will not make any hard plans about what I will do going forward with respect to the challenge. I am trying to develop more flow states, and this means easing up on the discipline I enforce in my life.

My insights from ‘Exploring Meditation’:

• Having a meditation go-bag is awesome – I bought a hiking backpack last year that I hardly ever use. It is perfect to store my collapsible and lightweight meditation bench, along with an ankle support, and some winter wear. Since I always had this packed up, all I had to do was grab it whenever I meditated somewhere other than home.
• I love writing meditations, even if they feel more social than meditative – The Buddhist writing meditations I attended started with a writing prompt that we would think and write about for the first 10-15 minutes. The rest of the hour involved individuals reading out their meditative essays with comments from fellow participants. I honestly wish more social events were structured in a similar fashion.
• Guided meditations are great if simple and tied to the breath – I utilized the Plum Village app, which I highly recommend. About 2/3 of the meditations were great, and these always involved simple intentions for the inhalation and exhalation followed by a couple minutes of silence between each. When this wasn’t the case, I felt like I was listening to a meditative podcast instead of actually meditating.

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• Dedicating practices helps establish a weekly theme – I neglected this more often than I remembered it, but when I did, it was always special. I love the idea of an intention for the week, and starting each meditation with that thought in mind made it real.

My insights from ‘30,000 Russian Twists’:

• Doing small amounts regularly is key – Obviously, the plan was 20 sets of 50 per day. What was really important, however, was at least starting each set, even if I didn’t do 50 reps. Making up a couple hundred at the end of the day or week is easily doable – making up a couple thousand not so much.
• Even when pushing yourself, set less than the absolute maximum – I’m sure I could have completed 50,000 twists instead of 30,000. However, that would have left no wiggle room. I missed a decent number of sets over the course of the month, but was always able to make them up later that day or on the weekend without overwhelming myself.
• Creating temporary uniformity can help with change – After I started wearing an orthotic boot on my left leg, I struggled with finding an exercise routine that worked. I tried doing some of my regular exercises but just on the right side or favoring the left side. I experimented with new exercises. None of it felt right until I just decided to pick one exercise and stick with that for the month.

Both of the challenges I’ve done this year involved some failure. The last day of the meditation exploration, I was going through some pretty bad depression and neglected my practice – it always feels worse to end badly than to start badly. Concerning my Russian twists , I may have lost count about 3 weeks into the challenge, so am not entirely sure I got to 30,000; if not, it was very close.

Nevertheless, failures and setbacks along the way don’t diminish the experience or the insights. So far in my current challenge, everything has been hunky-dory. However, I fully expect problems to arise and look forward to dealing with them as gracefully and skillfully as I can. This is middle way.

Namaste.

I have sworn off TV multiple times in the past, but invariably relapsed. My longest stretch was several months and that was a couple of years ago. My focus last year was harm reduction – carefully controlling when and how much I watched. With a few notable exceptions, I felt like I was managing gracefully.

However, since I fractured my foot the end of last year and have been in a boot most of this year, my commitment has weakened considerably. Although I did find alternative ways to exercise, and successfully completed an exercise monthly challenge, it didn’t provide the same benefits. Running, biking, hot yoga, and meditation were my 4 principal ways of coping with stress or uncomfortable emotions. Three of these I cannot do currently. I still meditate every day, but mostly indoors.

All of this led to some very bad tendencies resurfacing with regards to my viewing habits. I need to be more committed to finding other coping mechanisms. My goal this month is to formally work towards TV abstinence, but without expecting any increase in “productive” behavior. The goal is simply to replace it with more skillful activities.

Here are the particulars:

• Listen to fiction audiobook thrillers – I want to have one playing every time I drive to work. That way, I already have engagement in something I can use when I feel the urge to watch. The purpose this month is not to get more stuff done in a day because I watch less, but simply to replace whatever time I would have spent watching with alternative enjoyable habits.
• Taper bedtime viewing from 15-minute increments down to zero – I accomplished this during my month of sleep optimization, but regressed recently. I want to decrease the amount by 30 seconds each day, but allow the possibility of more increments after at least 2 minutes of sleep posture and bedtime audio. I have found that contingency especially powerful in the past.
• Make it a priority to download new audio each day for bedtime usage – This makes it easier to choose going to bed over watching a video, if I feel the urge. Also, I almost always fall asleep faster if something is playing than if there is silence.
• Decrease by 1 minute the amount of TV I consume during free time – Currently, I give myself 30 minutes to indulge at the end of the day (8PM), usually while eating a bowl of yogurt. I don’t want to decrease the overall amount of FT, just how much of it I spend watching shows. Reading, socializing, and blogging are all great alternatives.
• Join an addiction support group – I have attended addiction support groups sporadically at various times in the past. One I really appreciated was a Buddhist-flavored group that meets in Tyler. Sadly, it is not hybrid, but there are groups that are, assuming I cannot locate a suitable in-person possibility that is local.
• Experiment with mindful self pleasure – Though I have never been addicted to various visual or auditory aids in this regard, I do partake occasionally. Recently, I’ve found that this can sometimes precipitate a TV binge, so it has to go as well.

In addition to the above, I want to have conversations as I am able with family and friends to see if there are any fellow process addiction sufferers out there to create a personal support group for when the month is over. Unlike many challenges, which are meant to be temporary, my intention is that this will become permanent. I am already 6 days in and doing well.

Namaste.

I really need a physical challenge right now with my foot out of commission. Running is out, biking is out, and yoga is essentially out. What does that leave? Abs, primarily. This month will make the most out of my current disability.

The structure of this challenge will be similar to my month of 30,000 push-ups a couple of years ago. Basically, I am committing to 20 sessions of 50 twists each per day. The only other specifications are to use an 8-lb dumbbell, keep feet in the air, and touch the floor on each side every twist. Here is the detailed breakdown I will follow during the week.

For work days:

• First action upon arising (1 session) – Immediately after my feet hit the floor (or foot, in my case), I will complete one set on my yoga mat.
• Bookending both commutes (4 sessions) – This means I need to be ready to leave a couple of minutes earlier than I normally would to fit in these sets.
• Between each bell period (10 sessions) – There are 9 class periods and 2 meal periods during the day. With only 3 minutes maximum to spare during each transition, I will need to move quickly.
• During one of my free periods (1 session) – 2nd period is my planning period and 8th period is my conference period. Which one I use will vary based on the day.
• Between dinner and end-of-day free time (2 sessions) – I will probably do a set at 7PM and another set a few minutes before 8PM, though this will vary if I have a social event that conflicts.

For non-work days:

• During ab workout (3 sessions) – When I have time in the morning, I usually do 20 minutes of ab exercises, including timed reps of flutter kicks, crunches, and bicycle kicks.
• Top of each hour, starting at 8AM (13 sessions) – For the first couple days of the challenge, I will set an alarm to go off each hour. After a while, it should become second nature.
• Extras between breakfast and lunch (2 sessions) – A session every hour doesn’t quite cut it, and I would like to get sets done earlier rather than later.

For ALL days:

• Start of new day protocol (1 session) – This is my mental and physical transition practice at 8:30PM involving a shower, acupressure + handball, and lacrosse ball massage.
• During intensive exercise (1 session) – I generally complete 10 minutes of intensive exercise each evening around 9PM which includes hyperextension back twists, push-ups, and planks.

I hope this challenge will be good for my mind in addition to my body, as I have found myself dealing with increased incidents of depressed mood and sadness since I put my foot in a boot. May I grant myself all the grace and self-compassion I need while occupying my mind and body with something that is hard, empowering, and achievable.

Namaste.

This past month was definitely not my most interesting or transformative challenge of the past year. Nonetheless, it might have been the most important. It is hard to overstate the value of high-quality sleep, and I say this as someone who has struggled to achieve this for decades. All-in-all, the month was a surprising success. I completely eliminated my bedtime viewing habits, generally fell asleep faster, and was more excited upon rising than before the challenge.

WHAT I LEARNED:

• Inversions are not that hard – Seriously, I thought maintaining a tripod inversion for a few minutes would be difficult, but after spending a couple of nights learning how to get into prep position and roll out of inversion, it was rather simple. Now a handstand – that is difficult! Maybe I will try tackling that at some point in the future.
• I fall asleep fast listening to political commentary – It really does put me out, better than an audiobook or white noise. The nice thing about it is that I don’t care whether I actually listen to it or not (unlike other audio), but it still engages my mind. Maybe this is the perfect combo for inducing sleep. I feel like eventually I want to forego it, but it works for now.
• Outdoor morning meditation feels natural and motivating – Yes, yes, yes! This was by far the best thing about the month. I think the fact that it could be quite cold in the mornings made it even better. Also, 5 minutes is the perfect time window.
• I like lemon water, but it is too much trouble normally – I really did enjoy having lemon water in the morning, but was annoyed at having to prepare the lemon. I guess I could try just putting the lemon slice in water the night before and setting the glass near the bed. Somehow, I feel this would greatly diminish the experience.
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WHAT I WILL DO GOING FORWARD:

• Do inversion for ANY length of time – Although I found doing inversions enjoyable and possibly somewhat sleep inducing, 5 minutes felt like too much time. I think I will keep it on my protocol, but do it for whatever amount of time I want, even if just for a few seconds.
• Stop watching political commentary during the day – There are many educational and entertaining YouTube channels I am subscribed to that are much more worthwhile than politics. I think I will put all of the political channels I am currently subscribed to on my bedtime podcast playlist. Then, I will unsubscribe from them on my PC.
• Lock in morning meditation, indoors if raining – If I continue nothing else, it will be this. I don’t even have to remind myself. It has already become a habit that is both beneficial and enjoyable. The only contingency would be to forego the outdoors if there is inclement weather.
• Take a sip of water; do lemon on weekends – I think establishing the routine of drinking water upon waking is a good one. However, I’m reducing the amount to just a sip – something I will actually be happy to do. I’ll still try to do lemon water on weekends, partly because I have a bag of lemons in my fridge.

I am certain I will do more sleep-related challenges in the future, specifically regarding polyphasic sleep. For now, I am content with the increased optimization I have achieved in this area. May all of you have nourishing, rejuvenating sleep throughout the year 2025.

Namaste.

I dislike resolutions.

No, let me rephrase. I dislike New Years resolutions. I love challenges, but they need to be very specific and short. I believe one month to be the goldilocks zone, though there is merit in weekly challenges and challenges up to 3 months as well. New Years resolutions are rarely specific (e.g. lose weight, exercise more, get organized, save money) and involve an entire year.

Last year was my first time to seriously set a New Years Intention. It was my theme for the year and less formal than a resolution. 2024 was focused on choosing gratitude, built around the idea that while we may not be able to control our circumstances, we can always control our response to them. This year’s intention will be a combination of several different themes I have adopted over the last couple of years. These include:

• Embrace the suck – I first encountered this phrase during Basic Officer Leadership Course (BOLC) for the army back in 2017. It embodies a radical acceptance and even strange delight in the unpleasantness and difficulty of the current situation. I recycled this during my month of transforming critical self talk.
• Be in the moment – This is a fairly common sentiment in meditation circles. For me, this concept had new life breathed into it following a 10% Happier podcast featuring Vinny Ferraro. To convey the majesty of the present moment, he coined the phrase “Every moment is pregnant with liberation.” This turned into the focus of my month of living one-mindfully.
• Live life to the fullest – This phrase is included in my dating profile. In my 20s, my interpretation of this was “achieve your highest potential.” Now, I view it more as “create and enjoy your fullest expression and experience.” Either way, it communicates the desire to do more than just survive in life – to thrive!

My intention for 2025: Work FROM success, not TOWARDS success!

There are 4 actions I will be focusing on throughout the year to live out this intention.

1. Reframe success – Base it on CURRENT state of mind, not FUTURE level of achievement.
   When I was in medical school, the way I viewed success was entirely in the future. I would have success when I received my medical degree, earned a large salary, purchased a house, and/or found a life partner. In fact, I felt like my current mind state was irrelevant so long as it moved me in the direction of success. This is one of the many factors that led to my complete breakdown at the end of year three.
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   We have the power to shift our expectations. I have found that when my objective for the day is simply to respond skillfully to situations and foster curiosity and compassion, I not only find myself experiencing more joy during the day, but also tend to get more done as a bonus. Judgment is a toxic fuel source. It produces a lot of energy very quickly for a time, but eventually burns up the machine it is trying to power.
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2. Embrace imperfection – Middle Path is NOT a compromise; it IS the way.
   Many of the lessons I have learned about acceptance have occurred in the context of meditation. Before my major bike accident in August of 2021, I meditated in a hero pose position, which felt empowering and comfortable, as I had done so for a few years. After the accident, it was impossible to get into this position without incredible discomfort. I felt salty over my foot dysfunction for a while, but eventually embraced the new reality. This not only allowed me to find a bench and pillow that accommodated for my left leg, but ultimately led me to the practice of walking meditation, which I love!
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   Another imperfection I am learning to embrace, during meditation and in life, is physical pain. I have experienced chronic back pain since I was around 20 years old. For the longest time, I viewed meditation and life as objectively subpar if pain got in the way. During a daylong meditation retreat this past summer, I used the RAFT technique to skillfully observe instead of reactively judge the pain, and experienced something amazing! My best way to describe it would be a psychic release. The pain was still present (if anything it was a bit worse than normal), but it wasn’t negatively affecting me. I felt weirdly happy.
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3. Celebrate small wins – No skillful action is TOO SMALL to validate!
   “Go big or go home!” Great for some things, but not a good motto for everyday life. By far, the most transformative challenge I completed this year was my month of daily validation journaling. Basically, I told myself “good job” for three things each day that month. I experienced an unbelievable amount of positive endorphins and at times even euphoria.
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   Why? I was honoring the mundane, and MOST of life is the mundane. It is vitally important to congratulate ourselves on getting up in the morning to meditate, or only watching 30 minutes of TV instead of an hour, or observing agitation with compassion instead of reacting to it with judgment.
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4. Practice self-compassion – Avoiding failure is NOT an option; recovering gracefully IS.
   I have run multiple half-marathons over the last 6 months. One of these occurred during my challenge of transforming critical self-talk. I noticed a lot of refrains come up during my run.
   • “You could be going faster. Slacker!”
   • “You are going to blow out your IT band again, stupid!”
   • “This was possible 5 years ago if you hadn’t screwed your life up!”
   • “How could you not be aware enough to avoid the accident that jacked your leg up?”

The key during these moments was to become fully aware of the thought, send love to my inner critic, and propose alternative ways of viewing the situation that accomplished the same goal. If needed, I would do some self-soothing or call a friend for support.

In hindsight, am I grateful for my mental breakdown 5 years ago, given what I have learned? I would so like to say yes, but if I am being honest, there are a lot of times where I would give up all of my insights about life to go back and get on the external success train. In these moments, I choose to use this mantra by Kristin Neff:

This is a moment of weakness.
Weakness is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I give myself the self-compassion I need.

I refuse to accept the limiting belief, while also choosing to not judge myself for having the thought. Instead, I open up to it with gentle awareness and curiosity.

Namaste.

P.S. I’ve been trying out an AI art generator for some of my images. I like the general aura of design, though the details are sometimes off.

For the first month of the new year, I want to complete a long overdue challenge. The last meditation-related challenge I completed was way back in 2015. I have meditated pretty much every day for the last few years, am regularly involved in a weekly heartfulness meditation group, and have completed 2 daylong retreats within the past year. However, the possibilities in meditation are endless. The challenge this month is to intentionally explore some of those possibilities and expand the horizons of my practice.

Here are the requirements for this challenge:

• Meditate for at least 20 minutes each day – This won’t be much of a challenge, as I am already doing 15 minutes currently (5 first thing; 10 later in day). Sometimes, I do feel like my meditations are cut short, so the extra few minutes on some days might be more than welcome. Today is a great example – the weather was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!
• Meditate during my lunch break one day per week – A couple of years ago, I completed a month of purposeful spiritual connections, during which I chanted outside for a couple of minutes during lunch time at work each day. I really enjoyed the practice. My meditation will be longer than a couple of minutes, so I am only requiring it on one day each week. I will probably utilize the yoga mat I store in my classroom for this purpose.
• Meditate somewhere new once per week – The inferior function of my Myers-Briggs personality type (extroverted sensing) always groans when I think about driving somewhere to meditate. However, novel environments can provide both blessings and challenges that are useful in building a robust meditation practice. There are several parks I’ve wanted to check out anyway, and this will be the perfect motivation to do so.

• Use a new guided meditation 3x per week – Most of my meditation practice is self-directed, which in many cases is most effective. With that being said, there are so many great meditation apps and resources that I would love to experiment with both for my own benefit and so I can provide specific recommendations for others. I will start by exploring the Plum Village app I already have downloaded on my phone.
• Choose a general theme for each week – This can really be anything from a character quality to an area of life to a group of people. I’m not planning on having all of my practices that week be focused on that theme, though I can if desired. My main goal is to simply take a moment before the practice and dedicate it to that quality, topic, or person.
• Participate in 2 group writing meditations – The Secular Buddhism community I am involved with online hosts weekly writing meditations on Monday afternoons for 10-15 minutes. I have been interested in trying this out for a while now, but just never made the effort. This month will change that.

I am incredibly excited and optimistic about this challenge. I think it will tie in nicely with my 2025 New Years intention. However, I will reserve my thoughts on this for my next post. May the new year bring you many peaceful moments and exciting adventures!

Namaste.

I have considered myself a progressive ever since Bernie Sanders first ran for President back in 2016. For me, the word progressive is fairly simple to define. Basically, that there are certain necessities of life that a developed country should provide freely to its citizens outside of the realm of market forces. Principally, these include basic healthcare, legal services, education up to a certain level, housing, and enough money to survive on.

Questions can be raised about what exactly constitutes basic healthcare or legal services, whether free education should stop at high school or extend into college, and how guaranteeing a minimum amount of money is best achieved. These are important considerations, but they don’t change the essential position: that the basic necessities of life are a right by virtue of being a citizen.

The other question is: What does it mean to be a ‘progressive country’? If a country has free healthcare but not free college, or universal housing but no living wage, should they be classified as progressive or not. Obviously, there are degrees to this just like anything else. However, I think the litmus test should be healthcare. It seems to be the most fundamental service that one requires throughout their lifespan. That is what I would use to define a country as progressive.

I have been intrigued by the concept of socialism for about as long as I have been a progressive. However, I’ve never identified as a socialist, because I was always unclear on exactly what this entailed. At best, I was socialist-curious or socialist-positive.

Let’s start with the most basic definition: social ownership of the means of production. Textbook. Okay, but what does this really mean? Does the federal government control everything? Is this strictly an economic system, or does it extend to social welfare as well? What metric would I use to label a country as being socialist?

These are the three questions I want to try to give a tentative answer to in this post.

1. Does socialism mean the federal government controls everything? I don’t think the federal government controlling something makes it socialist or even more socialist than it was before. It could just as easily (and probably more likely) make it more fascist (not that these two ideologies necessarily are opposites). For this reason, I prefer the more Marxist definition of socialism: a system in which workers control the means of production. Now again, what does that mean? I think at a minimum it needs to include this:
   

   A government mandate that businesses with more than a certain number of employees give each employee an equal vote in business and personnel decisions for that company.

2. Does socialism include social justice such as reproductive rights? I think it best to view socialism strictly as an economic system, specifically promoting or demanding a level of democracy in the workplace. Now, more than likely, if you are a proponent of more democracy in the workplace, you probably also want social justice in general. That being said, I don’t think this should be considered a necessary prerequisite.
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3. What determines whether a country is socialist or not? In order to define a system economically, there needs to be some top-down rule that is in effect. Otherwise, it could just be chance. For example, let’s suppose that 90% of the businesses in a country were worker cooperatives? Even though I would call that country extremely socialist-friendly, unless there was a law on the books that enshrined this model, I wouldn’t call it socialist. Perhaps another label would apply: syndicalism. But that is a topic for another day.

TL;DR: Socialism is democracy in the workplace, pure and simple.

Using the effective definitions I provided in this blog post, almost all developed countries are progressive (minus the US), but very few are socialist. This is another one of my hang-ups when it comes to espousing socialism. We just don’t have a lot of successful experiments with it (definitely NOT on a large scale). However, I would like more thought and research to be done on the topic.

Obviously, there are still a lot of questions to address within this framework. The principal one being: how many employees would be the cutoff between a large business and a small business, or should there even be a number? However, defining the parameters of the discussion is a necessary first step in having any type of intelligent dialogue on the topic.

Namaste.

Ok, let me be clear up front: this blog is providing some of my current thoughts ON suicide, not my thoughts OF suicide – just in case there was any confusion or alarm at the title. However, the fact that I feel this unrestrainable urge to disclaim my mental state before going on to talk about this issue is part of the reason for this post today.

I vividly remember having strong passive suicidal ideation around 6 years ago when I was in medical school. I was studying for the STEP 1 exam at the time, didn’t have many friends, and had recently experienced a period of major depression. What ultimately removed these thoughts and feelings in my situation: I discovered Buddhism. More on that in a future post.

A bill was recently passed in England that allowed for assisted dying, a process by which a terminally ill person can work with healthcare professionals to decide on how to end their life painlessly in their own time. Similar processes are also legal in several other countries and US states.

Bodily integrity is what I believe should be the most basic value upheld by a society. I’ve detailed in a previous post why this, and not life, is the fundamental right. The Cliff Notes version can be elucidated by the question: would you rather have 50 years of living a normal life, or an eternity of living in pain. I think almost everyone, without a moment’s hesitation, would choose the former.

Bodily integrity isn’t bodily integrity unless you allow people to potentially do things that could seriously harm or even kill themselves. That is their choice. You want to prevent people that are mentally incompetent from doing hurtful things to themselves, but otherwise, it is not society’s job to police what people do with and to their bodies.

I recently listened to a Modern Wisdom podcast featuring Nedd Brockman, an ultramarathon philanthropist who ran 1000 miles around a track in 12 days. This is not a one-day Ironman (like I would like to complete), but an almost 2-week slog around a small oval again and again just tearing yourself down to the bone with very little sleep. Is this safe? I’m not sure, but even if the answer was a definite, “NO,” Nedd should still be allowed to do this. People should be allowed to smoke or eat what they want, sleep with who they want (provided it’s consensual), and wear what they want (provided it isn’t a public health risk).

If you support bodily integrity, you can’t draw lines and say you support it in this area but not in that one. That would mean you don’t REALLY support it at all. And with that being the case, suicide is one of those choices people might make.

I would love to see people’s language and perceptions around suicide change.

1. It isn’t always a bad thing; It can be beautiful in some contexts – I think that giving terminally ill people the ability to choose how they exit should not only be their right, but has the potential to be a wholesome and liberating process, provided the proper guardrails are in place to prevent foul play.
2. Even when we deem it unfortunate, it is not some deadly sin (even if it is deadly) –Catholicism teaches that anyone in their right mind who dies by suicide without repenting goes to hell for eternity. Talk about some serious moral implications! To be fair, most of the Protestant articles I browsed on the topic did not subscribe to this mentality. However, commit suicide, is still one of the most common ways of addressing someone’s choice to do this. I would recommend died by suicide as a more neutral option.
3. The best way to prevent suicide is to destigmatize talking about it – The vast majority of the time, when I hear someone has died by suicide, I view it as a horrible tragedy. However, I try not to judge people for taking this action. I also don’t express immediate shock when someone speaks in passive suicidal language (specifically talking about the act might prompt a different response). Instead, I try to validate the emotions they are currently feeling and let them know that they are not alone in their struggle.

In 2022, 13.2 million Americans seriously contemplated suicide and over 49,000 died by suicide, according to the CDC. The reasons for why suicide rates have been steadily increasing ever since the early 2000s are multifactorial. However, holding space for people experiencing these thoughts and emotions and choosing language that recognizes but doesn’t condemn suicide is a great way for everyone to become more understanding and compassionate.

The lovingkindness meditation I use everyday seems like a fitting way to end this post:

May we all be free from danger,
May we all be liberated,
May we all make friends with our bodies,
May lovingkindness manifest throughout all our lives.

Namaste.