Category Archives: General

Evaluation of my Month of Daily Gratitude & No Gossip

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A couple of weeks ago I ended my monthly challenge of daily gratitude and no gossip. I use the word ended instead of completed or finished for a reason. While I learned a lot from the month, in no way did I conquer or fulfill the challenge. A big part of the problem was my screen addiction reasserting itself after my 30-day long hiatus the month before last. Some part of me felt I had ‘broken’ my addiction and while still considering it an issue, thought it was on the way out. I couldn’t have been more wrong; in retrospect this seems obvious. However, other problems aside, let’s discuss my successes, struggles, and observations from this previous month.

Daily Gratitude – For this portion of the challenge, I had created 4 specific objectives, which you can review here. The first week of the challenge I happened to be residing at my brother Brian’s house in Bryan, TX. I had intended to just spend the weekend, but Snowvid had other plans. The environment this created (no power, unable to travel, surrounded by kids) was coincidentally perfect for cultivating gratitude. I specifically remember one morning going for a walk and to meditate. On the way back to the house, I became enraptured with a feeling of connectedness. Reflecting on the experience later, I realized that the several inches of snow on the ground completely erased the normal boundaries that existed – between road and field, between field and yard, between forest and clearing – everything was connected on one huge white landscape. It was breathtakingly beautiful and evoked natural vibes of lovingkindness.

This first week was overwhelmingly successful. I expressed gratitude to various members of the group I was interacting with for that week, as well as texting and calling other family members to express gratitude. I loved using the gratitude app I had installed before the challenge and posted several pictures alongside my entries. I was grateful to Nia (my sister-in-law’s lab) for being my walking and meditation partner, I was grateful to Eden for being my yoga partner, and I was grateful to myself – a practice made easier by the introduction of lovingkindness meditation.

However, as all things eventually do, this week ended, the snow cleared, and life returned to pre-snowvid normal. I found myself much less naturally disposed to gratitude, and the renewed use of technology combined with my recently ended ban on screens, reignited my screen addiction.  If there is one thing screens seem to be very effective at for me, it is zapping my instinct or desire to be grateful. I’m not sure why this is, but I definitely notice the more I am around screens (whether productively or destructively) the less prone to gratefulness I am.

For the last 2 weeks of the challenge, my commitment remained very low. I would think about gratitude usually several times a day, but actually using my gratitude app or sending a thank you text to someone or just noticing and appreciating beauty in my life was a huge struggle. When I did push through the resistance, I experienced great rewards, namely an enhanced sense of well-being and a feeling of connectedness with not just the person or object of my gratitude but people and objects in general.

No Gossip – This part of the challenge I was much more successful at fulfilling. Because it involved a negative action rather than a positive one, it proved less difficult to maintain in my more depressed state of mind. The gist of this part of the challenge was to not talk about people who were not present in the conversation. I was mostly going for avoiding rumors that cast those discussed in a negative light, but was more broadly trying to make conversations exclusively about the people involved, not random third-parties.

The biggest lesson I learned about gossip is that it takes the focus off of enjoying conversation with another human being and converts it into a festival of judging and flattering. I noticed that whenever I felt the urge to gossip, it was usually because I was uncomfortable, bored, or empty and wanted a quick fix for that. Generally, however, my previous feelings would simply be converted into self-righteousness, frustration, or pity. To use Buddhist language, I had moved from aversive energies to explosive energies. Neither are optimal.

What am I going to continue moving forward?

  • Gratitude app – I plan on continuing to use my gratitude app on a daily basis. I am also exploring some of the other features on the app – affirmations, daily zen, and vision board.
  • Gratitude days – Once a month, I would like to have a ‘gratitude day.’ During the course of the day I will purpose to have a grateful mindset and express gratitude to as many people and in as many ways as possible.
  • News only on Philosophical Appointed Times (PATs) – I definitely found being more disconnected to news and politics seemed to correlate with increased gratitude and less negativity. While I like staying up on current events, I think I can adequately do so even if I just follow or listen to news on weekends.
  • Limiting “positive” gossip – Only positively speak about other people not present in the conversation once per day
  • Justifying “negative” gossip – Never negatively speak about other people not present in the conversation unless absolutely necessary and ultimately for the purpose of edification

May my life be filled with gratitude. May I live in peace with others.

Namaste.

Christian Buddhism

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I haven’t written on this blog in years… literally. However, it is high time for me to get back to it. Today, I would like to announce my recent self-induction into Christian Buddhism and before you start googling to find out what the heck this is, it isn’t anything officially. This is my own creation, though it is rooted in the core principles of Buddhism with multiple distinctly Christian themes thrown in.

Before I start laying out what my newfound philosophy/religion entails, I would like to give some backstory. I was a Christian, albeit of several different varieties, from the age of six until the age of 25. My evolution from Christian to atheist took place slowly over the course of about 2 years. At some point, I would like to give a detailed history of this, but for now it will suffice to say that I gradually found my Christian beliefs to be more limiting than empowering overall.

After formally leaving Christianity, I bounced around between Christian atheism, secular humanism, apatheism, and pandeism. You can look all these terms up if you would like, but even though they mean different things, they had very little influence on my day-to-day lifestyle or beliefs, so I am not going to spend time discussing them.

I have struggled with mild to moderate depression every since I can remember. My depression became worse since I started to experience chronic pain and gave up what used to be the love of my life – music. However, I did a fair job of coping until I entered dedicated study time for STEP 1 of the USMLE. For those unfamiliar with it, this is the first big (8-hr) exam in medical school testing knowledge learned over the first 2 years.

Ever since I started having carpal tunnel syndrome followed by chronic back pain, I began to spend more and more time watching TV and movies, something I had done very little of prior to this time. Eventually, it became one of the only things I could really enjoy doing without pain. Previously, I had a whole host of outlets that I used to have fun and de-stress. These included reading, running, socializing, playing games, and practicing my instruments.

After restarting college with a goal of applying for medical school, reading became associated with studying (something that had not really happened during my music degree years) and my residual carpal tunnel symptoms after surgery precluded me from enjoying holding a book more than 15 minutes anyway. Running I gave up after my rehab and pain specialist told me that due to how tight my muscles were (despite excessive stretching), I was probably further worsening my back condition.

I stopped going to socializing events because of my fear that my back pain would spike and I would end up being miserable the whole time or having to leave prematurely. Really the only times I thoroughly enjoyed socializing were when I could do it while walking or hiking, which didn’t happen very often. Playing games also became something I just didn’t really enjoy, unless they were outdoor activity games.

I experienced a love/hate relationship with my instruments (especially violin) ever since my carpal tunnel and back symptoms started appearing in my early 20s. After I finished my degree in music performance, I basically stopped playing altogether, with the exception of a few small gigs and leading music at a small church. Once I started medical school, these residual musical activities ceased as well.

Basically, all the things in my life that I had previously used to bring me pleasure, unwind, and cope with the stresses of life had been ripped away from me. What filled the gap? More TV and movies. Instead of socializing, reading, playing games, running, and practicing my instruments, my default for everything from pain to stress to depression was to binge watch a good TV show. It became a full-blown addiction though I didn’t realize it as such until my dedicated study time for STEP 1.

During this time I had what in medicine we call a major depressive episode. Though I had been chronically mildly-moderately depressed for years, I had never before had an episode like this. Basically, for about 1 month, I had a severely depressed mood, lack of interest in anything other than binge-watching TV shows, erratic sleep, guilt for not being more productive, lack of energy or motivation to get out of the house, lack of concentration to study, lack of appetite, a general feeling of sluggishness, and the desire to not be alive.

Needless to say, I did extremely poorly on my STEP 1 exam. During this time and immediately afterwards, I realized I needed a major change in my life. This is when I discovered the basics of Buddhism. Eventually, by incorporating some of the most empowering aspects of my former Christian faith and some of my own life lessons, I developed what I now call Christian Buddhism. So, what is this?

The basics of Buddhism are well-expressed in this article: https://www.unhcr.org/50be10cb9.pdf. So please reference this if you are unfamiliar with this philosophy. I affirm 95% of what is in this article and don’t need to rehash what has already been expressed so well other places. However, although these principles gave me what I found to be a solid logical bedrock to build upon, they did not specifically address my current guilt and depression, which was and is my biggest challenge.

There are a lot of Christian beliefs and traditions that I find to be more limiting than empowering. However, the most pivotal concept of Christianity is one I find deeply empowering and is one of the reasons it took me so long to leave the religion. This is the concept of a fresh start, encapsulated by II Corinthians 5:17 (KJV), “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

My application of this concept is to view my existence before my self-induction into Christian Buddhism as a previous life and to consistently reference it as such. This allows me the freedom to learn from my previous life’s lack of consciousness without viewing it as part of my identity, which dissipates much of the guilt, bitterness, and self-loathing I used to harbor. Specifically, I can distance myself from my previous life’s poor posture and focus on music performance over health and this contribution on my current state of chronic pain. I can distance myself from my previous life’s incredible amount of wasted time and effort doing religious disciplines like praying, memorizing Scripture, and evangelizing. Most recently, I can distance myself from my previous life’s academic failures.

None of these events in my previous life are part of my identity. I view them strictly from a third-person perspective. These things do not define me in the slightest because I am a new creation. My current life started at my self-induction into Christian Buddhism. This for me is probably the most empowering belief I hold.

The second major Christian influence that I incorporated into my philosophy is penance. However, penance for me is not about paying for my sins, but about operant conditioning. If you are not familiar with this concept in psychology, please reference this article: https://www.verywellmind.com/operant-conditioning-a2-2794863. Basically, I have set up predetermined actions and fines with accountability partners that I impose on myself if I fail to maintain a lifestyle of consciousness.

Based extremely loosely on the 10 commandments in the Old Testament, here are the 10 commandments of Dansciousness (Dan-consciousness):

1. Never undercut accountability partners (one executive, one judicial).

2. Only hold self-legislative session on philosophical appointed times (PATs).

3. Commit thoroughly to your philosophy.

4. Safeguard the sanctity of the Sabbath.

5. Prioritize family relationships.

6. Have confidence in your weekly plan.

7. Always make time to respect yourself.

8. Be active during scientific appointed times (SATs).

9. Reject absolutes.

10. Don’t let anyone other than yourself determine your identity.

At some point in the near future, I would like to delve into each of these commandments and explain how I specifically apply them, but this blog post is already too long, so I will let them stand on their own for now. I would also like to address my recently discovered 6 core values fulfilled by 5 core identities and my 2 life lessons, but this too can wait for a later time.

The only other aspect of my philosophy of Christian Buddhism that needs to be addressed now is my 4 starting commitments. I felt that to make my philosophy mare tangible, it made sense to make some commitments concurrent with my self-induction. These are briefly detailed below:

1. Only watch media for the purposes of entertainment (TV, porn, news, youtube) on PATs and then not for more than 1 hour at a time (no binge-watching). This is a very important commitment considering my history of addiction in this activity. I don’t feel it wise to completely eliminate this activity at this point, so relegating it to particular times and amounts makes sense.

2. Never, under ANY circumstance, drive more than 4 mph over the speed limit, and ALWAYS prioritize safety over efficiency while driving. It just is not worth the risk! I almost always drive above the speed limit because the longer I sit in the car the more my back hurts. I also try to learn Spanish while driving or otherwise be productive. However, if I ever feel like I am less than alert while driving I will do what is necessary to correct it immediately, whether this involves driving in silence, slowing down, or pulling over to rest.

3. Meditate for 10 minutes every day. Preferably, this will happen outside, barefoot, on grass, when the sun is out. However, this is not always possible, so my commitment is to always get in 10 minutes of meditation, even if there is no grounding or sun involved.

4. Maintain at least a 90% clean pescatarian diet. Clean means specifically no trans-fats, high fructose corn syrup, or processed sugar. Generally, it means as few artificial ingredients as possible. Pescatarian means the only meat I eat is fish. I think it unwise in most cases to follow any diet 100% unless there is a specific medical reason for it.

So, in a nutshell this is Christian Buddhism. The 3 universal truths, 4 noble truths, and eightfold path combined with the Christian concepts of new creation and penance + the 10 commandments of consciousness and starting commitments which are unique to each person.

Apatheism

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It has been ages since I last posted anything on here. I’d like to start up again now that I’ve settled in to medical school. Something I have wanted to post about for a long time but was never sure how is the subject of spirituality. Obviously this is a word than might have as many different meanings as there are people.

I feel a useful definition is “a belief in something supernatural that forms the core of a person’s psychology.” I realize this definition might raise more problems than it solves by introducing the word ‘supernatural.’ However, I don’t think writing a treatise on what is supernatural is necessary in understanding my definition of spirituality.

Whether your understanding of supernatural is cosmic energy, a Creator, nirvana, or any number of other concepts, the root of spirituality remains the same. It is a belief in this idea, God, or meta-narrative that a person uses to fundamentally define who they are.

I also believe spirituality can be charted on a spectrum, with pure spirituality on one side and pure religion on the other. Pure spirituality is a belief in something supernatural that while forming the basis of a person’s psychology has no direct influence on their interactions with other people. That is, this person could potentially have the same lifestyle and actions as someone that did not hold this belief at all.

I feel that pure spirituality is fairly rare; usually it is mixed with some degree of religion. Religion is the actions a person takes as a result of their belief in something supernatural.

Pure religion then would be a set of actions inherited from a religious system or spiritual understanding that a person practices without any regard for the original belief that generated these actions. That is, a person who practices pure religion could have a totally separate psychology and belief system which has nothing to do with their actions. They inherited a list of rules and practices that they follow rigidly without any supernatural belief for doing so.

Now the reason I am defining these terms and introducing these concepts is to be able to elucidate my journey out of spirituality. Don’t get me wrong. It is not that I journeyed to a different point in the specturm; rather, I left it altogether.

I have the deepest respect for the psychologies that people use to define themselves. One of the unique aspects of the human species is the psychological need for ‘meaning,’ as vague or arbitrary as this may be. I am no different from any one else I know in this regard.

However, what I have discovered through my own experiences and reflections, is that I find meaning and base my psychology on certain principles and beliefs that are not supernatural in origin. One does not leave or enter spirituality lightly; and my journey out of it is a very long story.

What I want to accomplish in this post, however, is not to explain what I have left but what I have entered. I titled this post ‘apatheism’ because if asked about what my position on God, spirituality, or the supernatural is, I would say I am an apatheist. I like this somewhat colloquial defintion I found for apatheism:

At some point something happened and somehow something or someone was created and somehow I, a bunch of other people, and a lot of other animals got here. I can live with that.

What this means is that I just don’t think about these subjects that much anymore. If I find someone that is fulfilled with their life and points to some type of spirituality or religion as the reason why, I think that is awesome, as long as their actions don’t harm or infringe on other people’s freedom. If someone finds fulfillment with their life and points to something non-spiritual as the reason why, I think that is also awesome, again as long as their actions don’t harm or infringe on other people’s freedom.

I will admit I don’t have that much love for people who make it their life’s work to attack religion and spirituality. I also don’t have much love for people who use their combination of religion and spirituality to impose restrictions and judge people who aren’t where they are. But at the end of the day, I find it much more beneficial and interesting for me to talk about the values I choose to live by and always be learning and adjusting these values based on my interactions and experiences with people, whether spiritual or not, that I have the pleasure of getting to know.

Since I have already used up more space than I like in a blog post, I will outline my current beliefs and values without much description, with the expectation of elaborating more in future posts.

People I talk to generally find my philosophical underpinnings rather boring, which I get – it can be a heavy subject. So, let’s skip right to the important stuff. Put simply, I find meaning in health. I divide health into three tiers:

Tier 1

  • Physical: diet, exercise
  • Mental: meditation, weekly paradigm
  • Career: study, documentation of my involvement in some type of leadership role, community service, shadowing, research, and other education

Tier 2

  • Emotional: long-term goals (MedVoices.net and popular opinion yearly updated dictionary), monthly challenges (planning on getting back to these next month)
  • Relationship: keeping up with family and friends, dating
  • Social: Toastmasters, miscellaneous weekly events
  • Medical: yearly checkups, dental work, pill schedule, occasional massage or other therapy
  • Service: at least a once a month event (looking into joining a group helping the homeless)

Tier 3

  • Societal/Political: Wolf-Pac, voting
  • Environmental: practicing daily conservation in the ways I can

I hope my readers take away something positive from this post. As always, comments are welcome. Peace and love.

A New Perspective on “Forgiveness”

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What is forgiveness? According to the American Psychological Association,

Forgiveness is a process (or the result of a process) that involves a change in emotion and attitude regarding an offender. Most scholars view this an intentional and voluntary process, driven by a deliberate decision to forgive.

I’ve tried this process many times when dealing with situations in which others hurt me or I hurt myself. I suppose I have succeeded according to the above definition, because I did undergo a change in emotion and attitude regarding the offender, whether myself or another person. However, what I rarely, if ever, achieved was complete release from the situation. As much as I wanted to or tried, I simply could not erase the consequences the offense generated in my life, whether big or small.

Recently, I have adopted a different strategy. Some may view this new perspective as wishful thinking or cheating, but hey, for me it works beautifully.

Several science fiction movies I have watched recently contain time travel. In some of these, the “same” person was actually a different person (i.e. a person traveled back in time to interact with their former self). These two “people” while linked through consequences, were nonetheless distinct.

How does this relate to forgiveness? Well, suppose someone wronged “you” a year ago. Under this model, they didn’t actually wrong you, they wronged the you that existed (or exists) a year ago. Also, the offender is not the person you know now, but rather their former self that existed a year ago. What this means is that neither the person that committed the offense, nor the one offended even exist now. Forgiveness then is just to realize this and the negative energy and emotions fade away almost magically.

It may sound weird, but I can testify that it is better than any other process of forgiveness I have tried. So, the next time you do something stupid and are beating yourself up over it or someone slights you and you can’t get over the negative feelings you have for them, give this process of forgiveness a whirl and then share with me the results.

Medical School Applications

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It has been a while since I posted a blog. The last few weeks have been incredibly busy and tiring. However, this is a good problem, because it is due to all the interviews for medical school I have received. I interviewed at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, TX on October 16; at the Texas A&M College of Medicine in Temple, TX on October 22; at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, TX on October 23; and at the University of Texas Medical School in Houston, TX on October 30. I have two more interviews scheduled at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, TX on November 7 and at the Texas Tech School of Medicine in Lubbock, TX on November 20.

All the driving has made me tired all the time and has convinced me that I definitely don’t want a job that requires a lot of traveling. Each interview process has been a lot of fun as well as very informative. Of the schools I have interviewed at so far, Baylor is my top pick, followed by either UTMB Galveston or UT Houston. The interview at the A&M school in Temple was fine but the town seemed rather boring and I did not like how they split up their student body after the first year and a half at Brian-College Station.

Of the two interviews I have yet to attend, I expect that UT Southwestern will be comparable to Baylor, and Lubbock comparable to A&M. However, that being said, I have received good vibes from every school I have visited, so it will be a tough choice deciding where I want to spend four years. The way the system works is that I will rate the Texas public schools which I have received interviews at from first choice to last by January 21 on my application at the TMDSAS website. If I have already received a pre-match offer from my top choice school, then that is where I will go (unless I also receive an offer from Baylor, which is a private school and not in the Texas medical school system, and decide to attend there).

If I have not received a pre-match offer, I will go through match where my preferences will be combined with the preferences that each school has put out and will be waitlisted if I am not offered an acceptance at my top choice based on the algorithm that is used. I have until sometime in June to either accept one of my other offers or hold out to see if a spot opens at my top school (which would not be a very wise decision).

At this point, I will more than likely either be living in Dallas or Houston for the next four years starting in August of 2016. I am currently comparing what I believe to be the pros and cons between Baylor and Southwestern. If any of my readers live in either of these cities or used to do so and want to chime in on what they did or did not like about them, please do so. I have a feeling this is not going to be an easy decision. However, that being said, this is definitely a great problem for me to have!

People I have talked with say it is good to stand out from the other interviewers so you will be better remembered. Well, there are two aspects about me that definitely set me apart. First, I was the only music major at my interviews (as far as I know). Also, I was the only bald person among the interviewees, although I did meet one bald medical student or with whom I got along great.

I purchased a new medium-gray suit which fits me very well at a reasonable price about a month ago that I have used on my interviews. It was fun making a pocket square (or rather trying to make one and being helped out by Mom – I suck at sewing) which made the suit look snazzy. I am also trying to wear ties based on the colors of the medical school at which I am interviewing.

All in all, the application and interview process has been exciting if also somewhat stressful. It definitely costs money and takes time but I feel incredibly honored to be able to attend medical school and look forward eagerly to a fulfilling career in medicine. The field I am currently most interested in pursuing is Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. However, we will see if this holds once I start doing clinical rotations!

Back Pain

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I think each one of us lives with certain maladies that affect our sense of well-being. However, most of the time we learn to cope with it and are able to enjoy a fairly positive outlook despite the problems.

Here is my current list of health or appearance problems that plague me:

  • Back pain
  • Hand/wrist arthritis/tendinitis
  • Meralgia paresthetica in upper left thigh
  • Acne
  • Sinus congestion
  • Leg pain when standing (especially when wearing non-minimal shoes or on hard surfaces)
  • Kyphosis/Scoliosis
  • Digestive trouble
  • Eye strain
  • Depression

The worst of the items on this list, by far, is back pain. I first started experiencing twinges of this when I started college. Unfortunately, I ignored it at the time since it wasn’t that bad. Due to a lack of proper exercise and stretching, the condition grew worse over the next couple years. Now, I generally always have some level of pain in my back, which ranges from a 1 to a 7 on the comparative pain scale.

If there is one thing I have learned in the past couple years of dealing with various health problems, it is that moaning and groaning (or getting others to do this for me) does absolutely nothing to help me cope with the pain. Here is how I currently deal with my back pain. Hopefully you can relate it to whatever physical ailment with which you have to live.

  1. Create a treatment plan. I daily take turmeric and MSM (sulfur) powder which are both natural anti-inflammatory substances. In addition, I am now generally taking a daily dose of acetaminophen to help with pain outbreaks. I have decided on this instead of taking NSAIDs because these can have deleterious effects on the gut and my gut already has enough problems after the surgery I had a couple years ago.
  2. Self-crack my back. I do this every half hour. I try to not do it more often than this, because this can cause more problems than it fixes. This has become routine. I simply bend over to a 90 degree angle and then jerk back up. This will usually in a satisfying crack right in the center of my back.
  3. Have alternative methods to deal with pain if the above doesn’t work. If I am still experiencing back pain that does not allow me to function very efficiently, I will do one of several things. First, a cold shower usually makes my back feel better. Another option is laying on a foam roller in both directions and stretching. The last option is to make some tea and meditate. If nothing else, this can help me get into a better mental state.
  4. Focus on getting through this day. Sometimes it can seem overwhelming to me if I start worrying about how my back pain will affect me during medical school or my career. There may be a time and a place to think about such things, but not in the moment that I am experiencing the pain. Right then, the best thing is to just focus on coping with it as best as possible and fulfilling my obligations for that day.

This is a constant struggle and I still have bouts of depression on a fairly regular basis because of this. However, I feel like I am making progress and hope that these experiences will make me a wiser and more empathetic person in general.

A Fresh Perspective

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Now that I have another website that I am working on developing (medvoices.net), I don’t have as much time to devote to my blogging here. This, in addition to a recent shift of interests, has prompted me to redesign this website to be more specifically focused on personal development and self concept. These can include a whole litany of different topics, but I think these fall roughly into three main categories:

  1. Personal Health. I have particular health problems that I work on alleviating while practicing acceptance. In addition, there are the proactive choices I make to cultivate a healthy lifestyle and mindset.
  2. Body Image. This includes everything from clothing to grooming to mannerisms. It also involves learning to deal with any thoughts of inferiority that arise for whatever reason.
  3. Practical Philosophy. A large part of health and body image is the way we think about it. For this reason, the ideas we have about these topics are extremely important and not something to be glossed over.

With these thoughts in mind, I will be creating different categories to focus on and writing specifically about those topics. I plan on keeping up my monthly challenges and evaluations as well as a mid-month post. However, I will be adding in posts that basically chronicle my struggles and successes in the above-mentioned areas. I believe this will be incredibly beneficial for my personal development and self concept and hopefully will be a source of enlightenment to those who read as well.

The way I try to prioritize my life at this point is as follows (an ultra-simplified description; it goes without saying that there are certain things that don’t need to be prioritized because I instinctively view them as urgent and important):

  1. Always complete daily base exercise plan and eat full healthy meals. If I do nothing else in a day, I should do this. This provides the physical energy and mental motivation for everything else. If I ever start skipping exercise or eating skimpy meals, then everything else is going to be negatively affected. This has to always be the top priority.
  2. Do semi-urgent and important tasks. These are the things on the to-do list which may not have to be done right this minute, but will catch up with me later and cause headaches if I procrastinate in doing them. There shouldn’t be a lot of these if I am following this prioritization scheme.
  3. Deal with pain, inferiority, or confusion. These each relate to one of the categories mentioned above, respectively. There are two ways to address any of these symptoms. The first involves conscious action, such as stretching to reduce pain, blogging to work through thoughts of inferiority, or writing down areas of confusion so they can be diagnosed later at a predetermined time. The second way to address these symptoms is the same regardless of what the symptom is: meditation. Clear the mind, focus on your breath, and let the pain, inferiority, or confusion wash away.

There are many other activities I schedule in my day, but as long as I maintain the three priorities above, everything else will work out just fine. I invite you to practice the art of living with me as you read these posts.

Banish Regret

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Regret is a natural human emotion that gets triggered once we realize that we goofed up, whether consciously or inadvertently. It serves an important purpose, which is to signal us that we are not on the right path and that something needs to change. In this respect, regret is a great tool for learning from our mistakes and failures.

However, regret should only be momentary. Once we process the feeling of regret and start to change our behavior or lifestyle as a result, regret should be banished, as it no longer serves any useful purpose. It is at this point that regret turns from being an asset to being a liability, and should be avoided at all costs.

Unfortunately, I and I am sure many others tend to let feelings of regret linger.

  • I wish I had studied more.
  • I should have used my time more productively.
  • I’m sorry I lost my temper.
  • If only I hadn’t blown away that money…

The present is the only moment we ever inhabit. When we give in to regret, we are refusing to acknowledge reality and missing the joys that can accompany each breath. We will probably later regret that we spent time regretting and on the cycle goes.

So here are a few things that can be done to let the regret go, whether it was caused by something as simple as oversleeping or as serious as losing a marriage or career.

  1. Realize that ongoing regret accomplishes nothing. Sometimes I think we believe that by mourning over our failures that will in some way atone for them. Well, it won’t. They are what they are. All regret does is compound the problem.
  2. Realize that ongoing regret is counter-productive. We are doing the very thing we regret. When bothered by our past, we are not using our time productively, building good relationships, or developing ourselves. This only perpetuates our failures and our regrets.
  3. Focus on the present moment. This almost sounds banal to suggest, but it really works. Regret cannot exist in the present; it only inhabits thoughts of the past and worries of how our past actions will affect the future. Try meditating for five minutes and see what that does to your perspective.
  4. Start working. Get busy living your life. Discover what is important to you and pursue it wholeheartedly. Start a job, live out a passion, build a relationship. It is never too late to embark on the journey of personal development.
  5. Stop comparing yourself with others. Regret gets its fuel by looking at those we think are better off than us and telling us that we would have been like them if… Stop that! Don’t live to beat someone else in the art of living. Just start painting the picture of your own life and enjoy the process. Forget about the destination.

Hopefully these solutions will help you live the life you have right now to the fullest. Happy traveling.

The Importance of Art

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My personality is such that it would be possible for me to be almost completely mechanistic: to just live for completing the next goal – endlessly. Unlike Leo Babauta, I believe goals are incredibly freeing and fulfilling, even if I greatly value his position. However, I purposefully create sacred spaces in my life where there is not a goal. I look at this as what art is all about, whatever medium it takes. These are times to fully enjoy the sensations of the moment. What are some of the things I do during this time?

  • Music – Playing my instruments is a whole new experience for me these days. I don’t do it often (except for at church) and when I do there is nothing I need to accomplish (except for the occasional recital). I can enjoy just hearing myself play, without criticism, without priority – just experience it.
  • Meditation – I am a newcomer to this and should carve out more special moments to engage in this practice. I am someone who always has something to think about, so it can sometimes be a challenge to just let all those thoughts go, focus on my breath, and just be in tune with myself.
  • Drinking Tea – I often drink tea late at night. Sometimes I try to make those 5-10 minutes a sacred spot and just be aware – aware of my blessings, aware of the world, aware of other people, aware of my dreams – just pure awareness without giving in to the urge to think or do something.
  • Walks in the Woods – I love nature even if my allergies don’t always cooperate. Sometimes I go out in the woods somewhere to think, but other times I go out just to go out. No plan, no agenda, just making decisions as I come upon them.

Don’t expect these sacred times to magically appear in your life. It is so easy for me to crowd these out with other responsibilities and studies. But when I allow that (and it is more often than I would like), then I am robbing myself of really living. I become just a robot fulfilling tasks. Art, whether in the form of creating something spontaneously, being aware of your surroundings, or expressing a beautiful statement, needs to be guarded and preserved. Without it, we may still have the most developed brain of any species, but for what?

It may be hard, but don’t give up on art. Don’t give up on those sacred spots in your life. Carve them out of your busy day. Enjoy life – not the goals you have set or the things you have accomplished, but just life itself. It is beautiful.