I haven’t written on this blog in years… literally. However, it is high time for me to get back to it. Today, I would like to announce my recent self-induction into Christian Buddhism and before you start googling to find out what the heck this is, it isn’t anything officially. This is my own creation, though it is rooted in the core principles of Buddhism with multiple distinctly Christian themes thrown in.

Before I start laying out what my newfound philosophy/religion entails, I would like to give some backstory. I was a Christian, albeit of several different varieties, from the age of six until the age of 25. My evolution from Christian to atheist took place slowly over the course of about 2 years. At some point, I would like to give a detailed history of this, but for now it will suffice to say that I gradually found my Christian beliefs to be more limiting than empowering overall.

After formally leaving Christianity, I bounced around between Christian atheism, secular humanism, apatheism, and pandeism. You can look all these terms up if you would like, but even though they mean different things, they had very little influence on my day-to-day lifestyle or beliefs, so I am not going to spend time discussing them.

I have struggled with mild to moderate depression every since I can remember. My depression became worse since I started to experience chronic pain and gave up what used to be the love of my life – music. However, I did a fair job of coping until I entered dedicated study time for STEP 1 of the USMLE. For those unfamiliar with it, this is the first big (8-hr) exam in medical school testing knowledge learned over the first 2 years.

Ever since I started having carpal tunnel syndrome followed by chronic back pain, I began to spend more and more time watching TV and movies, something I had done very little of prior to this time. Eventually, it became one of the only things I could really enjoy doing without pain. Previously, I had a whole host of outlets that I used to have fun and de-stress. These included reading, running, socializing, playing games, and practicing my instruments.

After restarting college with a goal of applying for medical school, reading became associated with studying (something that had not really happened during my music degree years) and my residual carpal tunnel symptoms after surgery precluded me from enjoying holding a book more than 15 minutes anyway. Running I gave up after my rehab and pain specialist told me that due to how tight my muscles were (despite excessive stretching), I was probably further worsening my back condition.

I stopped going to socializing events because of my fear that my back pain would spike and I would end up being miserable the whole time or having to leave prematurely. Really the only times I thoroughly enjoyed socializing were when I could do it while walking or hiking, which didn’t happen very often. Playing games also became something I just didn’t really enjoy, unless they were outdoor activity games.

I experienced a love/hate relationship with my instruments (especially violin) ever since my carpal tunnel and back symptoms started appearing in my early 20s. After I finished my degree in music performance, I basically stopped playing altogether, with the exception of a few small gigs and leading music at a small church. Once I started medical school, these residual musical activities ceased as well.

Basically, all the things in my life that I had previously used to bring me pleasure, unwind, and cope with the stresses of life had been ripped away from me. What filled the gap? More TV and movies. Instead of socializing, reading, playing games, running, and practicing my instruments, my default for everything from pain to stress to depression was to binge watch a good TV show. It became a full-blown addiction though I didn’t realize it as such until my dedicated study time for STEP 1.

During this time I had what in medicine we call a major depressive episode. Though I had been chronically mildly-moderately depressed for years, I had never before had an episode like this. Basically, for about 1 month, I had a severely depressed mood, lack of interest in anything other than binge-watching TV shows, erratic sleep, guilt for not being more productive, lack of energy or motivation to get out of the house, lack of concentration to study, lack of appetite, a general feeling of sluggishness, and the desire to not be alive.

Needless to say, I did extremely poorly on my STEP 1 exam. During this time and immediately afterwards, I realized I needed a major change in my life. This is when I discovered the basics of Buddhism. Eventually, by incorporating some of the most empowering aspects of my former Christian faith and some of my own life lessons, I developed what I now call Christian Buddhism. So, what is this?

The basics of Buddhism are well-expressed in this article: https://www.unhcr.org/50be10cb9.pdf. So please reference this if you are unfamiliar with this philosophy. I affirm 95% of what is in this article and don’t need to rehash what has already been expressed so well other places. However, although these principles gave me what I found to be a solid logical bedrock to build upon, they did not specifically address my current guilt and depression, which was and is my biggest challenge.

There are a lot of Christian beliefs and traditions that I find to be more limiting than empowering. However, the most pivotal concept of Christianity is one I find deeply empowering and is one of the reasons it took me so long to leave the religion. This is the concept of a fresh start, encapsulated by II Corinthians 5:17 (KJV), “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

My application of this concept is to view my existence before my self-induction into Christian Buddhism as a previous life and to consistently reference it as such. This allows me the freedom to learn from my previous life’s lack of consciousness without viewing it as part of my identity, which dissipates much of the guilt, bitterness, and self-loathing I used to harbor. Specifically, I can distance myself from my previous life’s poor posture and focus on music performance over health and this contribution on my current state of chronic pain. I can distance myself from my previous life’s incredible amount of wasted time and effort doing religious disciplines like praying, memorizing Scripture, and evangelizing. Most recently, I can distance myself from my previous life’s academic failures.

None of these events in my previous life are part of my identity. I view them strictly from a third-person perspective. These things do not define me in the slightest because I am a new creation. My current life started at my self-induction into Christian Buddhism. This for me is probably the most empowering belief I hold.

The second major Christian influence that I incorporated into my philosophy is penance. However, penance for me is not about paying for my sins, but about operant conditioning. If you are not familiar with this concept in psychology, please reference this article: https://www.verywellmind.com/operant-conditioning-a2-2794863. Basically, I have set up predetermined actions and fines with accountability partners that I impose on myself if I fail to maintain a lifestyle of consciousness.

Based extremely loosely on the 10 commandments in the Old Testament, here are the 10 commandments of Dansciousness (Dan-consciousness):

1. Never undercut accountability partners (one executive, one judicial).

2. Only hold self-legislative session on philosophical appointed times (PATs).

3. Commit thoroughly to your philosophy.

4. Safeguard the sanctity of the Sabbath.

5. Prioritize family relationships.

6. Have confidence in your weekly plan.

7. Always make time to respect yourself.

8. Be active during scientific appointed times (SATs).

9. Reject absolutes.

10. Don’t let anyone other than yourself determine your identity.

At some point in the near future, I would like to delve into each of these commandments and explain how I specifically apply them, but this blog post is already too long, so I will let them stand on their own for now. I would also like to address my recently discovered 6 core values fulfilled by 5 core identities and my 2 life lessons, but this too can wait for a later time.

The only other aspect of my philosophy of Christian Buddhism that needs to be addressed now is my 4 starting commitments. I felt that to make my philosophy mare tangible, it made sense to make some commitments concurrent with my self-induction. These are briefly detailed below:

1. Only watch media for the purposes of entertainment (TV, porn, news, youtube) on PATs and then not for more than 1 hour at a time (no binge-watching). This is a very important commitment considering my history of addiction in this activity. I don’t feel it wise to completely eliminate this activity at this point, so relegating it to particular times and amounts makes sense.

2. Never, under ANY circumstance, drive more than 4 mph over the speed limit, and ALWAYS prioritize safety over efficiency while driving. It just is not worth the risk! I almost always drive above the speed limit because the longer I sit in the car the more my back hurts. I also try to learn Spanish while driving or otherwise be productive. However, if I ever feel like I am less than alert while driving I will do what is necessary to correct it immediately, whether this involves driving in silence, slowing down, or pulling over to rest.

3. Meditate for 10 minutes every day. Preferably, this will happen outside, barefoot, on grass, when the sun is out. However, this is not always possible, so my commitment is to always get in 10 minutes of meditation, even if there is no grounding or sun involved.

4. Maintain at least a 90% clean pescatarian diet. Clean means specifically no trans-fats, high fructose corn syrup, or processed sugar. Generally, it means as few artificial ingredients as possible. Pescatarian means the only meat I eat is fish. I think it unwise in most cases to follow any diet 100% unless there is a specific medical reason for it.

So, in a nutshell this is Christian Buddhism. The 3 universal truths, 4 noble truths, and eightfold path combined with the Christian concepts of new creation and penance + the 10 commandments of consciousness and starting commitments which are unique to each person.

I have heard atheists say that the belief in eternity makes a person less likely to savor each precious moment of this life, which is the only life we are guaranteed to have. This could definitely be the case. This is captured best in the adage, “What is this life compared with eternity?” The implication is that this life is not really important.

However, in my own experience, the belief in the possibility of an afterlife has enabled me to better appreciate each passing moment in this life. Why? Well, because I don’t believe that after I die I will automatically get a boost of knowledge or a boost of consciousness. I believe I will probably start off there pretty much where I left off here, except possibly being endowed with a resurrected body, whatever that happens to be.

In other words, I don’t believe that I will “wake up” in heaven being able to play the flute or do calculus unless I had already learned how to do those things in this life. The difference in heaven is that everything will be possible and I will be able to get teaching directly from the Source. However, because I will start off there where I left off here, at least as far as consciousness is concerned, it behooves me to savor every moment I have and learn and experience all I can.

Eternity is something I can eagerly look forward to but not in a way that downgrades my experiences right now. Eternity is basically a never-ending cycle of personal development, where every new skill I learn and piece of knowledge I acquire will allow me to connect more deeply with the one from whom it all came.

This is why I am a Christian. This is the heart of the gospel – the good news. There are a number of different interpretations on how grace is administered by the Father or appropriated by the believer, but the truth remains that grace is the linchpin of Christian experience. To be sure, there are Christians (in the sense that they find value and purpose in following some of the Christ’s teachings) who want nothing to do with grace, and though I respect their position, I feel they are sorely missing out on what has given me the most freedom in my life.

So, what is grace? I have heard many definitions with respect to Christian belief. Here are just a few:

• God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense
• The desire and power to do God’s will
• The free and unmerited favor of God

For me personally, grace has come to mean the freedom from regret over past mistakes due to the promise of ultimate blessing conditioned upon consciously following the Christ in this present moment. Obviously this is a mouthful, so let me unpack it some.

According to I John 1:7, if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. How do I walk in the light? I do the next right thing. If following the Christ in this present moment means working, then work – passionately, for Him. If it means studying, then study mindfully. If it means taking care of kids, then do it joyfully. If it means meditating, then meditate peacefully. Don’t worry about the next hour, week, or year of your life; just live fully in the present and enjoy the Christ’s presence. This doesn’t mean don’t plan for the future. If the next right thing is to plan, then plan fervently. However, do it in the present, not as a reaction to fear or worry.

When I do this, I receive the promise according to Romans 8:28 that everything that has happened in my life – my successes, my failures, and my mediocrity – will work together for good – more good than I can comprehend right now. If that isn’t wonderful, I don’t know what is. And if that isn’t the gospel, the good news, then nothing is.

Now, the cynic will ask, “How do you know this is true?” Well, I don’t. But this is why this is the most empowering belief one can hold, because if it turns out to be false, I will never know about it, and will still experience the amazing placebo effects while I am alive on this earth. If you can find sustainable happiness in some other way, please do so and and share your experience with me.

I would like to share what has become probably the most important verse in my relationship with my heavenly father, I John 1:7. When I am following my convictions and doing what is good, all it takes to feel connected is to think my thoughts to the father (pray). However, what happens when I sin and lack faith in my paradigms?

In the past I focused on I John 1:9, which says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I took this verse to mean that in order to be forgiven of a sin, any sin, I needed to tell the Father the specific sin I had committed. Also, Matthew 6:12 says, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” So after I had sinned and wanted to restore the relationship I would say something like, “Father, I lusted; please forgive me” or “Father, I was lazy; please forgive me”.

Now these verses brought tremendous bondage into my life. I was always worrying that I had not confessed my sin correctly, or that I had forgotten to confess a sin. These two verses became an integral part of how I viewed my sanctification. Sometimes I would spend long periods of time searching my mind for how I had sinned and pleading with the Father to forgive me, hoping I was doing it right.

At some point, I realized that what I was trying to do was impossible. If I had to confess every sin in order to be forgiven and have a relationship with the Father, I was doomed. So, how should I John 1:9 and Matthew 6:12 be interpreted. I am not entirely sure, but I tend to think that these are some of the possible evidences of having a close relationship with the Father. When you sin, it will burden you, and you very well might share your failing with the Father.

However, you would not be doing this to receive forgiveness. This happens in a different way. I John 1:7 is a verse I quote to myself all the time, but especially after I have failed. It reminds me that the Father does not require any pleading or penance in order for us to receive forgiveness. Rather, as I John 1:7 so beautifully states, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”

What this verse means to me is that if I stop what I am doing that is sinful and start following my paradigm again, then I am forgiven and have fellowship with the Father. Fellowship can always be restored in an instant. I just have to choose to do so. Now there are still times when I allow guilt to consume me, and these I am trying to fight against. I believe guilt while you are engaged in sin is good, but any lingering guilt after the moment you start doing right is not, because according to Romans 8:1, there is no condemnation to those who are in the Christ Jesus/Yeshua.

So, here are three quick things you can do when you realize you have strayed from walking in the light.

1. Stop. Whatever it is that you are doing or thinking that is not right, cease doing that.
2. Start. Whatever you believe is the action or thought you should do right now, do that.
3. Thank. Consider expressing your gratefulness to the Father for His unbelievable forgiveness. You could have just done the worst sin imaginable, but the moment you leave it behind, He is waiting with open arms to fellowship with you and give you His favor!

The Apostle Paul said in Romans 5:20 that “where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.” The Father’s amazing grace seems even more amazing after each time I sin. Does this make me more likely to sin? Not at all! You see, once you grasp this concept, you can begin to look at sin more objectively and think of ways to help you avoid it rather than just moaning over your sin and pleading with the Father for forgiveness. You can conquer your failings with inspiration rather than guilt.

In the new testament, I have found three primary definitions for sin that I think are very instructive. These are located in Romans 14:23, James 4:17, and I John 3:4.

1. Sin is doing something despite having qualms about it (Romans 14:23). The classic Biblical example of this is eating meat offered to idols. Paul made it clear in I Corinthians 8 that intrinsically, doing so is not sin. However, he also made it clear that to do so thinking that it may be wrong is sin. Basically, if you have a conviction on something, you need to keep that conviction. Your convictions can and should change as you learn more and transition from a weak believer to a strong believer, but whatever ones you currently hold should not be compromised.
2. Sin is not doing what you know you should be doing (James 4:17). The immediate context of this statement is in connection with saying ‘If the Lord will, we shall do such and such” instead of boastfully presuming on the future. However, I believe it can be taken in a broader sense as well. Now, the verse actually says that if you know what is good and don’t do it, then you have sinned. Does this mean that I must do every good action that pops into my mind? I don’t believe so. This would lead to absurdity. I believe a sensible way to understand this is to do what you should be doing right now. In order to do this, you would either need a paradigm in place to determine a prioritized list of things you should be doing, or else be following any hint of what could be the spirit’s prompting. Your choice would reflect whether you believe reason or instinct should be the guiding force in your decisions.
3. Sin is transgressing the law (I John 3:4). This is where things get controversial. Is John referring to the Torah, the commands of Christ, the instructions in the epistles of Paul, or possibly all three of these? My short answer to this is: I don’t know. However, if you want to know how I currently make sense of this, check out my Scriptural Command Paradigm (also part 2).

Now, I believe most people tend to think of the third definition when they think of sin. They ask, is homosexuality sin? What about gambling? Is it wrong to smoke? And the questions go on and on. What they are basically asking is what does the Bible categorically prohibit? This is a very important, though difficult, question that is worthy of much thought and study.

However, I am here to propose that the first two definitions given above are more fundamental and more important than the specific actions the Bible condemns as sin. One reason for this is that these are not ambiguous like the last definition. You know if you have a qualm about doing something, or if you are not doing what you know you should be doing right now. Even something most Christians think is just obviously sinful, homosexuality, is really dependent on how you interpret Scripture, such as this article and this one show. I have a different understanding of this topic than these authors do, but I am willing to admit that I could be wrong.

This drives sin a lot closer to home. You don’t know what other people’s convictions are usually and neither do you know their priorities, so for the most part judging others is excluded in the first two definitions of sin. The only person you can judge is yourself.

I believe this understanding of sin is very important in witnessing. I know of people who use the 10 commandments to show a person that they are a sinner and in need of forgiveness. While I believe this is done with good intention, I think it is a very poor and inconsistent method of pointing out sin. There are a wide variety of viewpoints on whether the 10 commandments apply to Christians today as well as on how to interpret them.

How important is a name? In one sense, it is very unimportant. Whether you are Bill, Joe, or Chris, does it make much difference? It is really just a label.

However, in another sense, it is the most important thing about a person. Let’s say I have a friend whose name is Tom. He is an electrician, is married, has 3 children, is 6 feet tall, enjoys running, and is 40 years old.

Now, if I were to ask you to tell me who my friend was, what would you say? You could say he is an electrician, and that would be true, but lacking – he is so much more than just that. Even if you were to mention all the descriptions given above, this would still not be all of who he is. There is only one description that can truly capture him – Tom. When we say his name, it represents a million (and more) different aspects of who he is all at once.

How deep can a physical relationship be if you don’t know the other person’s name? My name is Daniel. Now, you could call me Bill or Joe or Sam, and I could get used to you doing so. Communication could occur, recognition could happen, and a lot of knowledge about me could be gained. However, if you never used my true name, there would just be something missing.

So, does it really matter whether we use Jesus or Y’shua in referencing the Messiah? In one sense, I don’t think it matters at all. It definitely matters a lot more to him whether you follow His commandments. However, in my own personal experience, there seems to be something missing, even if it is very small, if I never use my savior’s given name.

There are many people who only use the name Jesus. There are also several people I know who only use the name Y’shua. Both names have been used to change people’s lives. I don’t think either should be discarded. In speech you have to favor one over the other, but not in writing. From now on, I will simply use both when I use the Messiah’s name in a blog post.  Jesus/Y’shua is my savior!

Many of the most well-known speakers and authors in the Christian community are Calvinists. The list includes John MacArthur, Al Mohler, John Piper, R.C. Sproul, and Paul Washer. However, I don’t believe any of these men are practical Calvinists (at least I hope not). To those unsure of exactly what Calvinism is, here is a quick synopsis of the popular acronym TULIP:

1. Total Depravity. Also called total inability, this means that man is utterly unable to seek the Father or choose salvation in Christ.
2. Unconditional Election. Because of mankind’s total inability to do anything towards His salvation, the Father must elect certain people to eternal life without any requirements on their part.
3. Limited Atonement. Also known as particular redemption, this means that Christ only died for those He unconditionally elected to salvation. Providing atonement for any other would be superfluous as there is no possibility of them being saved.
4. Irresistible Grace. Since there are no conditions for salvation, those to whom the Father gives grace will be saved.
5. Perseverance of the Saints. Also called the preservation of the saints or eternal security, this means that those who are saved will persevere or be preserved to the end. This is because the Father’s irresistible grace will keep them saved.

In short, a Calvinist believes the number and identity of all people who will be saved is determined by the Father. There is nothing a person can do to be saved, and once saved, there is nothing a person can to do lose their salvation.

As you may have guessed by the title of this post, I am not a Calvinist, though I used to be one. I don’t believe in the first four points (total depravity, unconditional election, limited atonement, and irresistible grace) and am undecided on the last point (perseverance of the saints). However, I have never and will never be a practical Calvinist, that is, a Calvinist who allows these doctrines to affect their actions.

Here is a how a practical Calvinist might witness.

Calvinist talking to “lost” person: “You are utterly unable to do anything to get eternal life. However, Jesus Christ might have died for you. This would be due to the Father unconditionally choosing you. If He chooses you, you must become a Christian even if you don’t want to do so. Don’t worry, He will change your desires to make you desire Him. Also, you will continue serving Christ forever. This is because He will change your desires to make you desire to serve Him.”

One of the biggest focuses throughout the new testament is the doctrine of assurance. How can I know that I am part of the elect? Well, I have to do something or say something or believe something. I have to take an action or live a lifestyle to be assured that I am part of the elect. While what constitutes Biblical assurance is controversial, all Christians except for Universalists would say that a person has to do something to have it, whether that is saying a prayer, believing in your heart, not committing any mortal sins, going to mass every week, or living a lifestyle of holiness.

So, even if salvation is totally a work of the Father, assurance is obtained by man. And without assurance, the possibility that you might be part of the elect is a small hope, as Jesus said few would be on the road to life. For all practical purposes, my assurance of salvation is my salvation. There is a difference. One can have false assurance and not salvation. One can have salvation and not assurance. However, the most important thing here is true assurance, however that is obtained (I will discuss this in a future post).

So, if you want to be a Calvinist, go right ahead. I can find many passages of Scripture that support it. However, please don’t become a practical Calvinist. It is your responsibility to work out your own salvation and find true assurance. And I believe doing so would include following the command of Christ to preach the gospel to every creature.

When I used to be reformed, I would tell people that I believed like a Calvinist and lived like an Armenian. If you feel obligated to believe in Calvinism, please keep a fine distinction between your beliefs and your actions. It is because I was uncomfortable having this dichotomy in my life that I migrated toward a view of salvation focused more on man’s free will that is just as Biblical if not more so.