This completion of my ‘month of no screens’ is a milestone for me! I know now I can survive and quite enjoy doing it without movies, TV shows, or videos of any kind, AND with minimal use of computer and phone. Although I still feel the urge to watch, I can treat it as just that: an urge. I acknowledge it without judgment and then move forward self-compassionately and one-mindfully. Generally, the urge dissipates rather quickly if I do this.

The month was not without its problems. However,  I didn’t let my failures, big or small, prevent me from getting back on track and finishing strong. From a middle-path mindset, I label this a huge success! I would like to document the most relevant struggles I had and the lessons I learned from them.

• 3-year-old function overload – In the Meyer’s-Briggs personality system, every person has a cognitive function stack that is basically their base operating system. Personality Hacker describes this as the car model, comprised of the driver function, passenger function, 10-year-old function, and 3-year-old function. My 3-year-old function is extraverted sensing which deals with gathering new data from the outside world, something which can quickly overwhelm me. About a week into the challenge, I signed up to get some health insurance and was bombarded with texts and calls from insurance agents trying to sell me plans. After a while, the distress reached a critical point and I fell back into avoidance behavior. I started with just binge-listening to a sci-fi audiobook, but when I finished this, I gave into the craving for a TV show and flew through a few episodes. After this disaster, I finally realized what would have been the effective response in the first place: self-compassion. This was the only major upset I had this month.

• Computer work – I had a lot of trouble with the ‘no more than 10-minutes consecutively at the computer’ rule at first, since it seemed to disrupt my focus and flow. However, a week or two into the challenge I adjusted the parameters to 10+2 minutes and this worked remarkably better, as I was able to tie up any immediate loose ends in the remaining 2 minutes after the 10-minute timer beeped.

• Self-pleasuring aid – Regular sexual activity contributes both to one’s physical and mental health. I believe doing so in a committed relationship is ideal, but doing so casually with a partner or by yourself is preferable to abstinence. I did use YouTube videos for this purpose a few times, but only utilized audio and not video.

• Forgetfulness – More than a few times, I forgot to start a 10-minute timer when I sat down at the computer. Most of these times, at least, I did have the intention to start it but just didn’t press the button. When this happened, some visceral sensation would usually kick in after about 30 minutes that something was out-of-the-ordniary, namely, my using a computer for more than 10 minutes, which would prompt me to check my timer and see I hadn’t started it or, more rarely, simply realize that I didn’t think about it at all before starting.

What do I want my relationship with screens to be like moving forward? I have developed a few simple rules that I think should be effective.

1. Only watch videos for the purpose of entertainment on Philosophical Appointed Times (PATs). This means absolutely no entertainment from movies, TV shows, or other videos during the bulk of the week. I believe abstinence in this regard, considering my addiction, is crucially important for me.
2. Don’t watch videos for more than 1hr at a time during PATs, and make sure there is an activity or activities that take at least one hour between viewings. I am not ready at this point to completely remove all movies and TV shows from my life, but I am going to be vigilant about strictly regimenting my time spent in this regard.
3. Only watch subscribed YouTube channels during meals and for no more than 30 minutes per meal OR no more than 1 hr per day. I have a number of different channels that I am subscribed to for educational purposes +/- some entertainment that I am going to continue watching, but only during meals. I don’t want this to become a new addiction now that I have cut out cinema.
4. Use computer for no more than 30+5 minutes at a time. This amount of time still allows me to regulate my usage of the computer and do so when needed and important, but not as a default if possible.
5. If on & off computer completing a task, spend no more than 1 hr + 10 minutes at a time on the task that involves utilizing the computer. This is basically just an addendum to the previous rule that gives more flexibility if I am working on a project but not strictly at the computer.

If I don’t follow any of the above scenarios, which is highly possible, I purpose to not judge myself, but use the experience as an opportunity to practice self-compassion and learn whatever I need to from the failure.

Namaste.

February 12th is the first day of the 12th luni-solar month and thus the start of a new challenge for me. This one is inspired by two sources. The first is a book I have been reading religiously the last few weeks titled Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff, in which she mentions the power gratitude has in tricking your mind to be happy, because practicing gratitude and experiencing pleasure have similar pathways in the brain. Of course, gratitude is also beneficial in its own right and the book suggested starting a gratitude journal.

The second source is the podcast Secular Buddhism by Noah Rasheta. In episode 26, entitled ‘Want to be happy? Practice Gratitude’, Noah talked about the power of gratitude in everyday life and challenged his listeners to 10 days of intentionally expressing gratitude to at least one person per day. Buddhism and self-compassion both heavily involve mindfulness, which is defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn as awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. I feel like gossip in many contexts can be the epitome of non-mindfulness, and it made sense to pair practicing gratitude with avoiding gossip.

Both gratitude and gossip need to be defined in order to effectively meet this challenge. Gratitude: the thankful appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself. Gossip: casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

So without further ado, let me define the parameters of the challenges. I’ll start with the daily gratitude agenda:

• One gratitude journal entry per day in Gratitude app on phone – I recently downloaded an app called Gratitude: Journal, Affirmations & Vision Board. I’m interested in the affirmations and vision board as well, but this month will be focusing on the journaling part. It gives you prompts to help you out and allows uploading pictures along with your entries. I prefer this over a physical journal, since I can use voice dictation.
• One expression of gratitude to another human being per day – Every day I will find at least one person to whom I will express gratefulness for something. I may not always be able to practice this in the most organic fashion, but I want to exercise my gratitude muscles so they can be more easily used in any situation naturally.
• One self-expression of gratitude per day – This one is fairly self-explanatory. The one thing I will add is that I need to say it out loud, not just think it inside my head. This helps actualize my intention so I can experience the full benefits of practicing gratitude.
• One non-human expression of gratitude – This may seem a little silly, but it was mentioned in a recent podcast so I thought I would try it out. Basically, this means expressing gratitude to (not about) a plant, animal, or inanimate object (your car, shoes, etc.). For example: “Toe shoes, thank you for being so comfortable and functional for my feet; it would be difficult to operate without you.”

Now onto the gossip challenge:

• Avoid talking about people not present if no pressing need to do so
• Use only neutral language (non-judgment-laden), tone of voice, and body language when talking about others who are not present
• Avoid listening to any news commentary (headlines only) and discussing news or politics with others
• Don’t affirm or deny other people when they gossip; just be non-responsive and switch the conversation to be more present-focused when able to do so

That’s it folks. I’m looking forward to starting a new challenge. After my meditation practice this morning, I experienced a giddy sense of excitement that today was the last day of the month and I would be starting a brand new adventure tomorrow. If you feel you could use more gratitude and/or less gossip in your life, I encourage you to take this challenge with me or create a simpler challenge such as writing down something your are grateful for every day for a week.

Namaste.

I feel the need to say ‘hello’ or something before just jumping into my blog post since it has been eons since I last wrote anything. So, “Hello!” Welcome back to my life.

I have become increasingly aware of my addiction to screens the last couple of years. It has eaten up hours and hours of my time, became an avoidance method when I was depressed or otherwise emotionally distressed, and has also given me eye strain and tension headaches (the latter occurring most prominently after extended binge watching). For all of the above reasons and also because I have recently become much more committed to living out my Buddhist philosophy, I determined a couple of months ago that one of the most beneficial things I could do for my mental health (not to mention other areas of life) would be to challenge myself to a month-long screen fast.

This is not a decision I made lightly. TV, youtube, and surfing the web had become my safety blanket. It was what I defaulted to when I became overwhelmed with life or myself. I knew stopping an addiction this massive cold-turkey might cause more harm than good. So, I have been slowly weaning myself off since October, with longer and longer times between viewings, as well as shorter viewing periods, all corresponding to a predetermined schedule. It has been a bumpy road, but I have slowly built upon small successes and am finally ready to take the plunge.

January 13th is the 1st day of the 11th luni-solar month. My challenge will start then and continue until the next new moon day. Here are the specific parameters I will need to follow:

• NO media. Absolutely NO watching of any media (TV shows, movies, youtube, etc.) whether by myself or with others.
• Severely restricted general usage. Only using computer for checking email 2x/day, weekly blogging, PAT research, and searches/tasks related to financial purposes.
• Time-locked engagement. Never using the computer for MORE than 10 minutes at a time.
• Restricted phone usage. Only using phone for calls, alarms, sleeping podcasts, and unforeseen “emergencies.”
• Time-locked communication. Having ALL calls be under 30 minutes in length.
• Use non-screen sources for music.  This can be CD’s, radio, or just me creating beautiful sounds on the piano and violin.

If you read this and empathize with my struggle, I would greatly appreciate a short email, phone call, or even better, a physical letter during this time validating my experience and perhaps sharing about a struggle you are facing in your own life if you are comfortable doing so.

Namaste.

Ever since I read a biography of Mary, Queen of Scots listening to a CD of Bach music selections, I have decided to not do the ambient music thing. For years afterward, I could not listen to any of those Bach pieces without thinking of 16th century England.

So why the change? Well, mainly because it is always cool to try new things. Secondly, today is (or was depending on when I finish this post) the first day of a new month, so I need to come up with a monthly challenge. Granted, this will be more of an experiment than a challenge, but hey, experiments are good too. Lastly, I want to see if it puts me more at ease and less conscious of back pain.

Recently, it has seemed that I have an elevated level of constant discomfort. Fortunately, this has not been progressing to the point of outright “pain” that often. However, I almost never feel just ‘comfortable’. I feel I manage well enough and will be having a follow-up visit with my specialist tomorrow to discuss the medication I’m on and probably change it.

So, for any and all of the above reasons (newness, experimentation, comfort), I will be on a diet of ambient music – which mainly applies while I am studying. After final exams, I guess it will apply to exercising or working on my websites over the holidays.

As usual, some simple guidelines:

• Only Classical or pre-classical music selections (meaning no Beethoven and nothing written after him). I enjoy listening to all types of music, whether the gamut of later classical genres, cinematic scores, sound tracks, pop-songs, bluegrass, jazz, etc. However, if the music is to be ambient it cannot be any of the above, because I would getting nothing done other than have an enjoyable time listening to the music.
• 10am to 10pm. Any time I am in my room during these hours. Currently, I don’t get up earlier than 10am except on Friday when I have to get up before 6:30. This is thanks to the awesome streaming capability that the school website provides to access all the lectures. This will change next semester with more problem-based-learning sessions and shadowing/clinical experiences.

As always, ‘totally free blocks of time’ and ‘philosophically appointed times’ are exceptions. If you don’t know what those phrases mean, then read this and this. Keep in mind as you read these earlier posts, that I no longer hold to some of the statements in them. Like (I hope) everyone else, my thoughts and positions are constantly evolving in little or huge ways.

Anyway, I am looking forward to see how this month works out. Like all good experiments, what the end results will be is definitely a mystery to me at this point.

Early last year, I completed a monthly challenge of keeping my surroundings orderly. I learned a lot and did fairly well, but it did not really stick after the month was over. For the next month, my focus is going to be similar, but with a different twist. Instead of trying to keep everything orderly all the time, or following general principles of neatness, I am going to adhere to just a few very specific and easy rules that I hope will stick once the month runs out.

What this means is that I am not aiming for neatness, so much as relative neatness. My surroundings may be in varying degrees of order, so long as I follow these rules.

1. Any time I enter one of my living spaces (basically bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen area) after not being there for more than a few hours, do 30 seconds of tidying up.
2. Any time I leave on of my living spaces after being there for more than an hour, do 30 seconds of tidying up.
3. Move my already scheduled time each day for industry (fancy word for clean up) higher up on my priority list (right below exercise).

These rules are fairly simple and will not make me feel stifled – like I cannot ever leave a book or shirt on the bed. Let us hope that this allows me to more consistently ward off the 2nd law of thermodynamics.

Recently, I have noticed a problem I experience and I believe have experienced for some time. That is, I tend to be late to things. Not extremely late mind you, just a minute or two – but late is late. Part of the reason for this is because I hate getting to places too early and then wasting time waiting for the event to start. However, I feel like I am not respecting other people’s time when I show up late to things for whatever reason.

This month the challenge is to always be a minimum of 5 minutes early to everything, which means aiming for 10 minutes early. This is very straightforward and does not really need any explanation. However, I will make a couple comments.

• Calculate driving times based upon max potential traffic
• Plan an adequate amount of time to find a parking space and walk to the building
• With the above two guidelines in mind, leave for an event at the time that will allow me to arrive there ten minutes before it begins (assuming traffic is not horrible and I find a decent parking spot, this means I may be as much as 20 minutes or more early)

The other thing I hope to accomplish this month by working on punctuality is driving the speed limit. I have been pulled over twice in the past month and given one ticket (I will be taking a driver safety course over the next couple of months to remove this from my record).

The new month, according to the moon, began almost a week ago, so this post is late. However, I have already been striving for greater punctuality this past week and will continue to do so for the rest of this month.

For the past couple of years, seriously, the quality of my sleep has been poor. I don’t know exactly why, but ever since I had surgery on my intestines in the spring of 2013, it has been harder for me to go to sleep, I find most beds or mattresses annoying or uncomfortable in some way, I wake up frequently, and I rarely feel well rested. I have done extensive experimenting with a monophasic sleep pattern – one in which you get 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep at one time. This experimentation has included a variety of pillows and pillow arrangements, sleeping on different surfaces, sleep practice, specifically planned cool-down times before bed, and a reward and penalty system.

I tried out one type of polyphasic sleep pattern a few years ago over the summer and remember liking it. Unfortunately, once the fall semester started, it did not fit well with my schedule so I stopped. I would never recommend someone to adopt this type of sleep schedule for two reasons. First, I believe the consensus among sleep researchers is that it is generally unnatural. Second, it takes a lot of dedication and planning to achieve. However, I figure since my sleep is poor now anyway, and I have the time and energy to devote to this, I am going to give it a whirl.

Perhaps if I like it well enough after the end of this experiment, I will settle permanently on a biphasic sleep cycle, which is easier than a polyphasic, but with some of the same benefits. So, what will my new sleep cycle look like? I have tried it out a little over the past week, and here is my plan:

My core sleep at night will be 4 hours and 30 minutes to 5 hours and 20 minutes. What this means is that I will get in bed 5 hours and 20 minutes before I intend on waking up the next morning and read until I am sleepy but not later than 4 and a half hours before the time. My days will be structured in 6-hour intervals. After the first six hours, I will take a 20-min nap, and then 6 hours later I will take another 20-min nap. That is it. Fairly simple and definitely doable.

With this plan in place, I will still be getting between 5 and 6 hours of sleep every day, which is more than any other polyphasic sleep cycle I have come across, so I don’t feel this is ridiculously extreme. I will try to update you all on my progress every 15 to 30 days. Happy dreams everyone!

The past month and a half have been good. I always meditate 10 minutes a day minimum. I’m still getting used to defaulting to meditation. I think this is great in some cases and not so much in others.

The times I think it is great are when my mind is over-distracted and is trying to think or worry about too many things. In this context, meditation will help quiet my thoughts and when I finish I will be able to focus all my energies on whatever is at the top of my priority list at that point in time.

The times is doesn’t work as well are when I am confused about what my priorities are. While meditation can give me a much needed break from this confusion, it does not solve the problem. For this, I have been trying to more aggressively use totally focused blocks of time. This is a concept I believe I have touched on in a previous post but don’t know where right now so I can’t link to it. I will flesh it out more in an upcoming post.

I am also learning to love meditation for its own sake, not simply as a means to an end. When I first started meditating, I found it incredibly hard to not let my mind wander, but now I am coming to really enjoy these times of calmness.

If you have never meditated before, I highly recommend you to give it a try. Start small and just do it for one or two minutes. If you feel it is useful or beneficial, you can increase the time. It is important to get into an upright seated position that is comfortable and allows you to maintain a straight back. Lotus pose would be ideal, but I am far too inflexible for that. Therefore, I settle with hero pose, which is the perfect position for me. Feel free to experiment.

Eye contact is something that I have often found uncomfortable. Perhaps this is due to my many past insecurities, which I feel like I have mostly overcome, but which nonetheless have residual effects.

The goal for this month is simple: maximize good eye contact. What this means is as follows:

• If someone enters the room, space, workstation, or table that I am at, I will seek to make eye contact immediately
• Initial eye contact will be held for 2-3 seconds
• When having a one-on-one conversation, make eye contact for 75% of the time
• If having a group conversation, make eye contact all the time but with different people (75% with the speaker and 25% with the others; divide equally when I am speaking)
• Linger at least one second whenever making eye contact and at least two seconds when speaking

I  want to principally focus on this topic when giving speeches or presentations for Toastmasters this month as well. If eyes really are the windows of the soul, may I have many wholesome “spiritual” interactions this month.

So I was supposed to start a new monthly challenge last week. For those of you who don’t know or haven’t figured it out yet, I start my monthly challenges based on when the new moon is. This is one small way I try to stay connected with nature.

Therefore, this next challenge will last for close to two months and I believe it is warranted because of its importance. Meditation is something that is practiced by a lot of eastern religions. Although I don’t subscribe to any of these, I understand why this practice holds an important position for them. It has incredible benefits physically, mentally, psychologically, and emotionally.

I have used meditation in the past couple of years to provide mental clarity, physical stretching, and emotional peace. However, this month I am going to exploit it for psychological purposes in addition to the other benefits. First off, I am defining the mind here as the ability for rational thought and the psyche as the central force from which humans derive meaning and dictate behavior.

I have been trying to keep this blog lighter, so I won’t go into all the philosophical musings I have had of late on this topic. Suffice it to say, from my experience alone, I believe meditation is the most reliable, powerful, and easiest source of focus, inspiration, and drive. Unfortunately, though I try to meditate a little every day, I have severely underused this technique, especially in times of depression, either from physical pain or a perceived failure.

This month (and the next), the challenge is to make meditation the default response to any type of depression, confusion, or anxiety I find myself experiencing. Here are the flawed responses I usually have to these feelings:

• Deep thinking. This almost never is the right response in the moment. There is never an easy answer to the problem or depression I am facing, so thinking about it more and looking for a solution in this way is usually counterproductive.
• Sleep. A short nap can be a great thing, and one I advocate for here. However, a short nap can easily turn into a long nap and what ends up is just wasting a bunch of time which just makes me feel even worse about myself.
• Getting busy. Distracting myself from what is bothering me isn’t always a bad idea. However, if this is all that is done, then when I run out of urgent projects, then I will be sunk. This is not a good position in which to find myself.
• Talking to someone. Hashing out my feelings to someone is usually a good thing. The only problem with this is that you cannot always do so on demand. Maybe you cannot get a hold of someone at the precise moment you need them or maybe it would not be courteous to them to just dump all your problems on them.

This month, the goal is to not think, sleep, occupy myself with projects, or even talk to someone in those moments of psychological distress. Instead, I will do a meditation session for 5-10 minutes. After this time, the sky is the limit as far as what type of response I will have next. I have great hopes for this experiment and will let everyone know what I learned and what I will incorporate into my lifestyle from now on once I finish the challenge.