Per my challenge requirements, I am posting some excerpts from my motivation journal the past week. I had intended to elaborate, but the excerpts pretty much speak for themselves. I have greatly enjoyed and benefited from the experience so far.

DAY 1:

I noticed a big drop in motivation level today after I started watching the new Black Widow film. It was great and that was part of the problem. I realize I need to completely swear off of watching an TV, movies, and other videos not on my subscribed YouTube channel list, even (and maybe especially) on weekends.

DAY 2:

I am choosing to not condemn myself; the falling off of a time paradigm was due to my mistaken belief that I could have controlled times of watching videos during Philosophical Appointed Times (PATs) and that this would actually be good for me. Neither of these suppositions is accurate, at least at this time. I blame the faulty programming I had previously inputted, not my current low-motivation state for the relapse.

DAY 3:

I have accepted that chronic physical pain is just a part of my life – something I struggle with, something I gain insight from, but ultimately something I just accept. My confusion stems from how this affects my motivation level. It feels like the more ‘productive’ I become, the more my pain tends to increase until I have an inevitable ‘breakdown’ of sorts.

DAY 4:

I want to enjoy higher motivation levels whenever I experience them while also not dramatically increasing my expectations of performance. In other words, when I experience a higher motivation level, I want to use it to really throw myself completely into whatever plans and activities I have scheduled without allowing new ambitions to raise my expected productivity level.

DAY 5:

I have found in the past that whether I am overwhelmed or overexcited from an event or experience, the result tends to be the same = CRASH! When I get overwhelmed, it is more of a desperation crash, while with overexcitement it is a post-event depression crash, but the ending is the same.

DAY 6:

I find that my motivation level is always highest immediately following my communion run/ meditation/check-in sequence in the morning after my shower. This makes perfect sense, especially if I successfully followed my rise-time protocol. I got up, enjoyed a shower, had some exercise, centered myself, and checked-in with my emotions. However, after this point, it seems to generally be a negatively sloped line in the motivation department.

DAY 7:

My motivation level is definitely affected when I’m around other people, especially when I’m  visiting someone (i.e. hanging out) as opposed to just doing an activity with them. This is not necessarily a good or bad thing: it’s just something I am aware of. I believe the key to harnessing this to boost my motivation without having ‘dead’ feelings after leaving the interaction is integrating aspects of mindfulness into as many aspects of social interactions as I can.

So far so good. I will finish by sharing the lovingkindness meditation I use daily.

May we all be free from danger.                                                                                                        May we all be liberated.                                                                                                                      May we all make friends with our bodies.                                                                                        May lovingkindness manifest throughout all our lives.

Namaste.