I dislike resolutions.

No, let me rephrase. I dislike New Years resolutions. I love challenges, but they need to be very specific and short. I believe one month to be the goldilocks zone, though there is merit in weekly challenges and challenges up to 3 months as well. New Years resolutions are rarely specific (e.g. lose weight, exercise more, get organized, save money) and involve an entire year.

Last year was my first time to seriously set a New Years Intention. It was my theme for the year and less formal than a resolution. 2024 was focused on choosing gratitude, built around the idea that while we may not be able to control our circumstances, we can always control our response to them. This year’s intention will be a combination of several different themes I have adopted over the last couple of years. These include:

• Embrace the suck – I first encountered this phrase during Basic Officer Leadership Course (BOLC) for the army back in 2017. It embodies a radical acceptance and even strange delight in the unpleasantness and difficulty of the current situation. I recycled this during my month of transforming critical self talk.
• Be in the moment – This is a fairly common sentiment in meditation circles. For me, this concept had new life breathed into it following a 10% Happier podcast featuring Vinny Ferraro. To convey the majesty of the present moment, he coined the phrase “Every moment is pregnant with liberation.” This turned into the focus of my month of living one-mindfully.
• Live life to the fullest – This phrase is included in my dating profile. In my 20s, my interpretation of this was “achieve your highest potential.” Now, I view it more as “create and enjoy your fullest expression and experience.” Either way, it communicates the desire to do more than just survive in life – to thrive!

My intention for 2025: Work FROM success, not TOWARDS success!

There are 4 actions I will be focusing on throughout the year to live out this intention.

1. Reframe success – Base it on CURRENT state of mind, not FUTURE level of achievement.
   When I was in medical school, the way I viewed success was entirely in the future. I would have success when I received my medical degree, earned a large salary, purchased a house, and/or found a life partner. In fact, I felt like my current mind state was irrelevant so long as it moved me in the direction of success. This is one of the many factors that led to my complete breakdown at the end of year three.
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   We have the power to shift our expectations. I have found that when my objective for the day is simply to respond skillfully to situations and foster curiosity and compassion, I not only find myself experiencing more joy during the day, but also tend to get more done as a bonus. Judgment is a toxic fuel source. It produces a lot of energy very quickly for a time, but eventually burns up the machine it is trying to power.
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2. Embrace imperfection – Middle Path is NOT a compromise; it IS the way.
   Many of the lessons I have learned about acceptance have occurred in the context of meditation. Before my major bike accident in August of 2021, I meditated in a hero pose position, which felt empowering and comfortable, as I had done so for a few years. After the accident, it was impossible to get into this position without incredible discomfort. I felt salty over my foot dysfunction for a while, but eventually embraced the new reality. This not only allowed me to find a bench and pillow that accommodated for my left leg, but ultimately led me to the practice of walking meditation, which I love!
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   Another imperfection I am learning to embrace, during meditation and in life, is physical pain. I have experienced chronic back pain since I was around 20 years old. For the longest time, I viewed meditation and life as objectively subpar if pain got in the way. During a daylong meditation retreat this past summer, I used the RAFT technique to skillfully observe instead of reactively judge the pain, and experienced something amazing! My best way to describe it would be a psychic release. The pain was still present (if anything it was a bit worse than normal), but it wasn’t negatively affecting me. I felt weirdly happy.
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3. Celebrate small wins – No skillful action is TOO SMALL to validate!
   “Go big or go home!” Great for some things, but not a good motto for everyday life. By far, the most transformative challenge I completed this year was my month of daily validation journaling. Basically, I told myself “good job” for three things each day that month. I experienced an unbelievable amount of positive endorphins and at times even euphoria.
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   Why? I was honoring the mundane, and MOST of life is the mundane. It is vitally important to congratulate ourselves on getting up in the morning to meditate, or only watching 30 minutes of TV instead of an hour, or observing agitation with compassion instead of reacting to it with judgment.
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4. Practice self-compassion – Avoiding failure is NOT an option; recovering gracefully IS.
   I have run multiple half-marathons over the last 6 months. One of these occurred during my challenge of transforming critical self-talk. I noticed a lot of refrains come up during my run.
   • “You could be going faster. Slacker!”
   • “You are going to blow out your IT band again, stupid!”
   • “This was possible 5 years ago if you hadn’t screwed your life up!”
   • “How could you not be aware enough to avoid the accident that jacked your leg up?”

The key during these moments was to become fully aware of the thought, send love to my inner critic, and propose alternative ways of viewing the situation that accomplished the same goal. If needed, I would do some self-soothing or call a friend for support.

In hindsight, am I grateful for my mental breakdown 5 years ago, given what I have learned? I would so like to say yes, but if I am being honest, there are a lot of times where I would give up all of my insights about life to go back and get on the external success train. In these moments, I choose to use this mantra by Kristin Neff:

This is a moment of weakness.
Weakness is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I give myself the self-compassion I need.

I refuse to accept the limiting belief, while also choosing to not judge myself for having the thought. Instead, I open up to it with gentle awareness and curiosity.

Namaste.

P.S. I’ve been trying out an AI art generator for some of my images. I like the general aura of design, though the details are sometimes off.