In the emotion regulation section of the DBT Skills Training Handbook, every uncomfortable emotion has aftereffects of ‘narrowing of attention’ and ‘rumination.’ This is great when the troubling emotion is preceded by a truly life-threatening situation. However, in my life, this is rarely the case.

In addition, as someone with INTJ tendencies, rumination is my default operating system. When my mood is generally optimistic, this can be a wellspring of insight and motivation. Lately, this has not been the case. My attitude noticeably worsened a couple of weeks ago with confirmation of the delayed healing of my fractured foot.

First, I want to define what rumination is. Rumination means having constant and repetitive thoughts about a problem, its cause, and consequences. In my experience, it manifests as a cluttered and unfocused mind, with catastrophic undertones. I often find myself addicted to the process, while at the same time recognizing its futility in the current moment.

Here are the specifications of the challenge:

• Default to direct action or meditation – This is the principal and most important objective. If I feel I really “need” to ruminate, then set a timer for 3 minutes. After that time, wholeheartedly take some action. A brief meditation session is always an option, assuming the situation allows it. I also want to encourage casting lots, which has proved effective for me in the past.

• Smile whenever I am walking – It is much more difficult to ruminate when smiling. There are so many things I can occupy my mind with, from observing the present moment to meditating upon the 4 noble truths to reviewing the components of each system of the human body. When I push past the urge to remain stuck in my own drama, there is always joy or at the very least a sense of release at the other end.
• Commit to honoring 20 minutes of planned social time each day – I have felt more depressed generally over the last month. This drives me to more rumination, even though I know it is mostly unhelpful. Socializing is a tonic, but sometimes I don’t feel I have the energy to attend a 1-hr or longer event. I can always show up, however. That is doable. Oftentimes, just doing so overcomes the activation energy and the rest is energy-generating.
• Make one impulse buy each week – I inherited a sense of extreme frugality from my parents, which in a general sense is fine. However, it can cost me an enormous amount of time and energy to even make small purchases. I want to short-circuit that some this month. I will limit the amount to under $50 per purchase for my own peace of mind.
• Budget in wasted time each week – Time efficiency is a core value that I hold which can easily became toxic. I easily get frazzled when I feel I or others have “wasted” my time, all the while acknowledging that what counts as wasted time is completely subjective. Each week, I will force myself to “waste” 2 hours. Either this will happen to me throughout the week, or I will go on an unnecessary outing on the weekend.
• Send at least one message per week without any thought – I have severe FOPO: fear of people’s opinions. It is so bad that I often reread simple text messages or emails several times before sending them. At least once each week, I want to type out a response and immediately hit send without looking back.

Toxic rumination often leads me to engage in unskillful and destructive habits like binging TV shows to escape the mental quagmire. With my successful reduction of TV show consumption (which I intend to completely eliminate over the next month), being proactive about engaging my mind in productive ways is critical.

I feel this month is extremely overdue, but was also incredibly nervous to begin. I am nearly one week into the challenge and can already report less depression and more joie de vivre.

Namaste.