One of my favorite listening pastimes while biking is Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom podcast. His interests of evolutionary psychology, fitness, dating, communication, and mental health are closely aligned with mine. However, 5-10 percent of the time, he brings on a guest to discuss political ideas and this is where I would start pulling my hair out if I had any left.

This visceral reaction on my part raises some questions. Why do I react like this? Is it simply because most of the political guests are more right-wing than I am? What does this even mean? Should I just not listen to these podcast episodes when they pop up in my feed? Would this refusal be admitting defeat: that I cannot even tolerate listening to a different perspective?

All of these questions are interesting and worth exploring. However, I think the biggest problem is a linguistic one. Specifically, I am referring to the use of words like left, right, liberal, and conservative as useful categorizations in a broad sense. What does it mean to be ‘on the right’ or ‘on the left’? Is there some magical line that distinguishes between the two? Making a ‘center’ option just compounds the problem, because now I have to draw two lines instead of just one.

Also, the idea that one word could even approximately capture an individual’s ideas on foreign policy, healthcare, fiscal policy, and social policy, just seems absurd. Even if it could for a particular person, it would not generalize to a large group of people in any useful way.

Is the solution to just excise words like left, right, liberal, and conservative from our vocabulary? That is one option, but I believe there is a less radical approach that can avoid a lot of the hasty generalization inherent in the usage of these words. Here are a few simple rules that will help:

1. Use these words sparingly – When possible, just talk about specific issues and circumvent these broad categorization words entirely. Instead of saying, “The left’s view on healthcare is crazy,” say “I think there are major problems with a universal healthcare system.” Instead of saying, “The right’s immigration policy is barbaric,” say “I believe deporting long-standing residents with no criminal record is wrong.”
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2. Only use general words to refer to one specific spectrum or concept – For example, when using the words “left” and “right,” I am only referring to the socialist-capitalist spectrum and nothing else. If this is unclear, I will modify it to economically left and economically right.
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   If using the the terms “liberal” and “conservative,” I will always define in as simple terms as possible what I mean before using them. I’m also happy to completely discard these labels if I feel there is any tension with them in a particular context.
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3. Generally refrain from using these words in an objective sense – Instead, use them relatively. For example, “Bernie Sanders is further left than Chuck Schumer.” This avoids the problem of whether Sanders or Schumer are truly ‘on the left.’ I think we can objectively say that Sanders is to the left of Schumer. Alternatively, we could say that Schumer is to the right of Sanders. Both of these communicate the same relative truth.
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4. Only apply labels to people that they apply to themselves – A lot of people will initially balk at this rule. “I can’t call him a “fill-in-the-blank” when he clearly is one?” I would say no. What you can do is quote specific things the person supports and let the listener make up their own minds on “what they are.”
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   As someone that rarely fits neatly into labels, there definitely is a personal element to this rule. I can experience intense frustration when someone uses a word to describe me that I would not use. Therefore, I am happy to give everyone the same courtesy I would ask for myself.
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5. Don’t use the phrase ‘self-described’ – Even with the best of intentions, this easily comes across as patronizing or dismissive. A better alternative is simply “identifies as,” if you don’t feel like using the label a person calls themselves without a qualifier.

Bringing this back to my podcast dilemma, I believe starting those podcasts is a good idea (don’t dismiss them out of hand). If it becomes clear early on that the focus will be on left vs right generalizations, then skip it. On the other hand, if it delves into discussing the pros and cons of specific policies, regardless of whether you see things differently, give it a curious listen.

Walking the line between being selective about what you listen to, while also making sure you are hearing opinions and perspectives radically different from your own, is a tough act. The above are my initial thoughts on navigating these treacherous waters.

Namaste.

I am incredibly reluctant to discuss my thoughts and beliefs relating to metaphysics, specifically the nature of the divine, consciousness, and the sense of meaning and purpose one might derive from their understanding and experience of these perspectives. I think my biggest hang-up is the seeming inability to communicate coherently on these topics.

I unreservedly will call myself a mystic, because the essence of mysticism is simply the experience of the divine, without borders. There is no necessity in mysticism to explain anything, simply to promote divine experiences, however you want to define them. I believe most people would benefit greatly from pursuing mystical experiences in their lives.

However, while I don’t claim any hard and fast beliefs about the nature of the divine, I do enjoy playing with and trying on ideas. My grounding in these mental pursuits is always direct experience. Sometimes the beliefs themselves, while not essential, are a helpful on-ramp to the experience.

With all that in mind, I want to develop the confidence to speak on this topic (my tentative beliefs about the divine, not just my experience) without feeling inadequate or defensive or invoking these reactions in others. I think the first step in this endeavor is finding a broad label that encompasses most of the belief systems in this arena, and using that as a launching pad to dip into more specific ideologies.

In my research, I couldn’t find any formal label that fits the bill. They either were too specific (e.g. panpsychism, pandeism), or used unknown or uncommon terms (e.g. immanentism). So, I’m settling on pan-spiritual. Spirituality is the process of seeking and finding meaning, purpose, and a connection to something larger than oneself. As a Greek prefix, pan means “all,” “every,” or “entire.”

Spliced together, pan-spiritual means something along the lines of, “the process of seeking and finding a universal sense of meaning and purpose that is larger than ourselves while at the same time intricately connected to our inner being.” I would also nest pan-spirituality under the topic of mysticism. You can be a mystic without being pan-spiritual, but not vice-versa.

With that extended preface out of the way, what specific form of pan-spirituality do I find compelling at this time? That would be transpersonal panendeism. I will save a full exposition of this for a later post, but here is a brief overview:

• Trans = beyond
• Personal = person/self
• Pan = all
• En = in
• Deism = the Divine (non-interventionist)

Put together, this is a belief that the Divine both permeates the universe while also transcending it, and has attributes that go beyond the boundaries of a unified person. In other words, there are at least 2 main conceptions of God that are both true: a universal substance (maybe consciousness, but not necessarily), and an intelligent presence (maybe with the omni attributes, but not necessarily).

What this means practically for me is a few things:

• The ways to conceptualize the divine are infinite – Since God is transpersonal, the divine can be approached as a he, she, or an it; as a guru, friend, or lover; as a still small voice or the majesty of nature. We are in God and God is in us.
• The experience of the divine is possible in every moment – Everyone and everything is part of the divine fabric. Therefore, experiencing the divine simply involves waking up to this perspective. It can be as fundamental as purposeful breathing or as exotic as an out-of-body experience.
• These experiences ground meaning and purpose – What are some things that the omni-version of God cannot experience? If you are all-powerful, you cannot experience the satisfaction of building skill. If you are all-knowing, you cannot experience the thrill of discovery. If you are all-present, you cannot experience the gift of awakening. By having these experiences, we add to the God-concept.
• There is no need to fear chaos and destruction – It is not on me or even on humanity to save the world or end pain or fill-in-the-blank. I can trust in the structure of the divine tapestry and simply act with presence. I can have confidence that striving for these or other goals is its own reward even if I don’t see objective outcomes.

I will leave you with the first line from the Tao Te Ching:

“The Tao that can be named is not Tao.”

I find this excerpt both beautiful and humbling. It reminds me to always evolve in my understanding of the divine, to learn from the perspectives of others, and to ground all of my spiritual beliefs in personal experience.

Namaste.

Last month, I completed a challenge that I didn’t blog about. I started the challenge a couple of days into the month and made up for the days missed. The essence of the challenge was incredibly simple: each day, have a structured topic that I think about anytime I have downtime. The biggest source of this downtime was driving, but other opportunities included grocery shopping and laundry.

The topics repeated each week, with each day devoted to a particular area. There are 4 biological macromolecules that I remember and teach to my students using the acronym ‘PLNC’ for proteins, lipids, nucleic acids, and carbohydrates. Each of these occupied one day. Here is a list of all the topics, In order from Sunday to Saturday:

1. Core values and Opposite-to-Emotion action steps – I have identified 24 core values that I hold, a sampling of which includes purposeful passion, thorough expression, and functional health. Opposite-to-emotion action is a DBT skill useful for managing uncomfortable emotions that I have found incredibly effective.
2. Buddhism Basics – This includes the four noble truths and the eightfold path. I have a simple mnemonic that I use to remember and talk about the eightfold path: ‘Understand This: Speaking And Listening Effectively Mandates Concentration.’ This stands for Understanding, Thought, Speech, Action, Livelihood, Effort, Mindfulness, and Concentration.
3. Proteins – For each of the biological macromolecules, I used the acronym: SPA DAME MP3. This stands for Structure, Production, Acquisition, Digestion, Absorption, Metabolism, Energy Utilization, Major Functions, and 3 types of Pathology – deficiency, toxicity, and dysfunction.
4. Lipids – Ditto above.
5. Nucleic Acids – Ditto above.
6. Carbohydrates – Ditto above.
7. Top-to-Bottom Human Systems – These include the 8 overarching organ systems, 4 tissue types, 6 stem cell types, and 5 non-stem cell types. I call it top-to-bottom because I arranged the systems in the order they would appear if traveling from the top of the head downward.

Most of these areas I knew extremely well and it was just a matter of choosing to focus on them during downtime instead of my semi-regular toxic rumination. For the macromolecules, I did spend some time the first week of the challenge fleshing out a few details which I used the subsequent weeks to occupy my mind.

I smashed the challenge and mostly loved the process. The technique of just switching to pre-planned thoughts to occupy the mind I found to be incredibly effective, especially when I am tempted to ruminate unproductively about some recent event. Since the challenge has ended, I do enjoy not feeling the need to think, but if I’m not careful I can easily default to unskillful mental churning.

Going forward, I think what would constitute Middle Way in this area is to have something I plan on thinking through completely, but is simple enough that I could easily do it in a few minutes. Once I got into the process, I could expound and explore it further if I so desired.

I would love to just totally be with whatever activity I am involved with. To be fair, I feel like I am much more present now than I have been in a long time. However, in most situations, there is a steady hum of reaction, analysis, and judgment that exists in the back of my mind.

I choose to accept the hum, show myself compassion, and find skillful ways of managing it when it grows too loud.

May your thoughts be peaceful and may you be at peace with your thoughts.

Namaste.

For ethical reasons, I would like to become fully vegan, both in diet and lifestyle. Currently, I am 80% pescetarian and have been for several years. Without getting overly analytical, I don’t view the avoidance of causing indirect harm to vertebrates as a moral imperative, though I do view it as a very important moral good.

Hunting and killing vertebrates, even if done solely for food purposes (and not just sport) is causing direct harm and something I wouldn’t do. However, buying and eating meat products is not directly harming anything. In fact, I would wager that if I entirely stopped buying and eating meat products today, the direct amount of harm caused to animals wouldn’t change at all.

For both of these reasons, I don’t feel a moral necessity to not eat meat, though I would like to start moving more in that direction. To that end, this month’s challenge will be focused on exploring vegetarian meals, snacks, and supplements that provide all of the nutrition I want while also rivaling the taste of fish (if that is possible).

Here are the specifics:

• Buy or acquire a vegetarian cookbook – At this point, I am focused on ovo-lacto vegetarianism, meaning I’m not worrying about my egg and yogurt consumption. Therefore, any type of vegetarian cookbook will be fine.
• Spend 15 minutes each day researching – I am specifically trying to maximize my protein and omega-3 fatty acid intake. Also, I really enjoy the taste of fish, and want to look for vegetarian alternatives that are as satisfying as a filet.
• Have 2 fully vegetarian days each week – Primarily, this would involve packing a different lunch option (maybe a salad), and trying out a vegetarian recipe for dinner or eating out and buying vegetarian.
• Be fully pescetarian by the end of the month – This is a highly attainable goal. The only major shifts it would require is substituting lunchmeat for something else, and communicating to family and friends that I am officially pescetarian. This may require extra planning when visiting others to ensure I have adequate dining options.

I feel like this type of challenge is long overdue, and I expect several more related challenges within the next couple of years. One of the most basic moral principles in Buddhism is “Don’t cause pain.” I expect this to be a successful first step in fully actualizing that foundational principle in my consumptive habits.

Namaste.

I experienced a bout of major depression this summer. It followed a scare I had about possibly refracturing my left foot. As it turns out, no damage occured other than a strain. However, even after this confirmation and the pain receding, I felt incredibly gunshy about doing anything remotely stressful with that foot.

My reaction to this situation was 100x worse than when I actually fractured my foot and ended up in a boot. Even though it was much worse then, I was able to radically accept that current situation and acknowledge that my period of recovery was temporary. When I had the scare this summer, I quickly descended into a cascade of what-ifs:

What if I keep fracturing my foot?
What if I can never run again?
What if this worsens my already negative body image?
What if this makes me less desirable?

My rumination was also accompanied by a large dollop of shame and guilt. “Really, you fractured it AGAIN after just being out of it for a little over a month? What kind of an idiot are you?” This has been my pattern for as long as I can remember. An experience triggers a strong negative emotion, and my first thought is almost always “I effed up,” or “I’m just a loser.”

I’ve done practices and challenges that have greatly reduced the frequency of these critical thoughts, such as my Month of Transforming my Self-Talk. However, the intensity is still pretty strong when some aspect of my physical health or functionality is directly concerned.

I gave a speech in July that I titled “Anti-Stagnation Recipe” which centered on what to do when you just feel trapped, demotivated, and are cycling through the same bad habits and emotions. There were three main ingredients I presented:

1. Get on a very simple time paradigm.
2. Establish and stick to 1 or 2 basic healthy habits.
3. Make a spiritual connection.

It’s this last ingredient that has really been a game-changer for me recently. I developed the seeds of the spiritual beliefs I hold today after my first major depressive episode back in 2018. However, for a couple of years following that, they remained mostly conceptual, not experiential.

Since my mini-breakdown this summer, I have been practicing consciousness focusing regularly. The highlight of this practice is proclaiming your emotional addictions and your desire to be free of them with as much emotional voltage as possible, utilizing any means possible, including yelling, crying, and gesturing.

I found a clearing in a wooded area next to a bridge overpass near where I live that has been mostly perfect for this practice. The one downside is there can be a LOT of bugs if I end up going too late in the day. The first couple of times I engaged in this practice, I felt incredibly self-conscious and doubtful. However, after pushing through that initial resistance, the liberation and power I experienced afterwards was palpable, and the sessions are only 15-30 minutes long.

Upon entering my car, however, I became a bit melancholy that this practice wasn’t feasible during everyday life when people were around. It was then I realized what was at the heart of this practice: spirit breath. In fact, I noticed that a not insignificant portion of the practice involved very intentional powerful breaths, where I welcomed presence, welcomed spirit, and welcomed universal self while expelling negativity and self-doubt. This simple intentional awareness of presence is always available at all times, even if the dosage varies.

Since that realization, I have been able to capture some of this energy at various times throughout the day simply by remembering my practice and intentionally and powerfully welcoming spirit into my interaction of the moment. A few breaths later and the disturbing event/emotion combo feels more like a challenge to be explored rather than a threat to be survived.

I suppose techinally, this spirit breath is eternally available. However, I have found it much more difficult to access and appreciate if I haven’t practiced consciousness focusing in the last several days. It opens up a channel that allows spirituality to move from head to body.

The best part is that you can easily adapt the practice to accomodate whatever brand of spirituality you subscribe to. Happy breathing!

Namaste.

In the emotion regulation section of the DBT Skills Training Handbook, every uncomfortable emotion has aftereffects of ‘narrowing of attention’ and ‘rumination.’ This is great when the troubling emotion is preceded by a truly life-threatening situation. However, in my life, this is rarely the case.

In addition, as someone with INTJ tendencies, rumination is my default operating system. When my mood is generally optimistic, this can be a wellspring of insight and motivation. Lately, this has not been the case. My attitude noticeably worsened a couple of weeks ago with confirmation of the delayed healing of my fractured foot.

First, I want to define what rumination is. Rumination means having constant and repetitive thoughts about a problem, its cause, and consequences. In my experience, it manifests as a cluttered and unfocused mind, with catastrophic undertones. I often find myself addicted to the process, while at the same time recognizing its futility in the current moment.

Here are the specifications of the challenge:

• Default to direct action or meditation – This is the principal and most important objective. If I feel I really “need” to ruminate, then set a timer for 3 minutes. After that time, wholeheartedly take some action. A brief meditation session is always an option, assuming the situation allows it. I also want to encourage casting lots, which has proved effective for me in the past.

• Smile whenever I am walking – It is much more difficult to ruminate when smiling. There are so many things I can occupy my mind with, from observing the present moment to meditating upon the 4 noble truths to reviewing the components of each system of the human body. When I push past the urge to remain stuck in my own drama, there is always joy or at the very least a sense of release at the other end.
• Commit to honoring 20 minutes of planned social time each day – I have felt more depressed generally over the last month. This drives me to more rumination, even though I know it is mostly unhelpful. Socializing is a tonic, but sometimes I don’t feel I have the energy to attend a 1-hr or longer event. I can always show up, however. That is doable. Oftentimes, just doing so overcomes the activation energy and the rest is energy-generating.
• Make one impulse buy each week – I inherited a sense of extreme frugality from my parents, which in a general sense is fine. However, it can cost me an enormous amount of time and energy to even make small purchases. I want to short-circuit that some this month. I will limit the amount to under $50 per purchase for my own peace of mind.
• Budget in wasted time each week – Time efficiency is a core value that I hold which can easily became toxic. I easily get frazzled when I feel I or others have “wasted” my time, all the while acknowledging that what counts as wasted time is completely subjective. Each week, I will force myself to “waste” 2 hours. Either this will happen to me throughout the week, or I will go on an unnecessary outing on the weekend.
• Send at least one message per week without any thought – I have severe FOPO: fear of people’s opinions. It is so bad that I often reread simple text messages or emails several times before sending them. At least once each week, I want to type out a response and immediately hit send without looking back.

Toxic rumination often leads me to engage in unskillful and destructive habits like binging TV shows to escape the mental quagmire. With my successful reduction of TV show consumption (which I intend to completely eliminate over the next month), being proactive about engaging my mind in productive ways is critical.

I feel this month is extremely overdue, but was also incredibly nervous to begin. I am nearly one week into the challenge and can already report less depression and more joie de vivre.

Namaste.

I have avoided discussing any of my spiritual beliefs at length in a public setting, and don’t even divulge much in more private settings. I think one of the main reasons for this is that I can’t really do so without getting into epistemology, which is not a light topic to dive into and can jeopardize the very essence of the beliefs themselves: as tools for mystical experiences.

After listening to a presentation a couple weeks ago at the Unitarian Universalist fellowship I attend in Longview, I became very interested in the concept of mysticism. I realized my attachment to finding credible explanations for spirituality distracted me with concepts about the nature of reality or the attributes of God, when what I really seek is simply the experience of the Divine, without borders. I think this is what mysticism is at its core.

With that in mind, any spiritual beliefs I adopt have the sole purpose of creating a substrate upon which mystical experiences can become a natural outgrowth. The point is not to explain the experiences or use them to explain the world. However, if installing some beliefs allows these experiences to be more readily accessed, I am passionately in favor of that, both for myself and those around me.

The following are the guardrails I think can ensure spiritual beliefs accomplish this purpose, without becoming tools to judge other people.

1. Subordinate to scientific consensus – For me, this is the bare minimum of middle way with regards to curiosity and conviction. I want to stay infinitely curious about understanding how the universe behaves, while also forming deep convictions about my place and role within it. The ultimate goal is to arrive at an integrative understanding of spirituality from the realm of science.
2. Untethered from a particular historical or scientific claim – What comes to mind most prominently for me in this regard is the claim of Jesus’ bodily resurrection. When I was a Christian, all of my mystical experiences and related beliefs were wrapped up in this claim, and all of them got shattered when I lost my conviction in the veracity of this claim. What a waste! I could have saved myself half a decade of spiritual emptiness if I had allowed my experiences to be valuable for their own sake.
3. Divorced from objective moral judgments – Mystical experiences are the very definition of something that is NOT objective truth. I believe subjective truth is every bit as valuable as objective truth when it comes to our personal lives. However, to the degree that morality can be viewed as objective, it can only be done by using objective or logical metrics – like science and ethical theories.
4. Above argumentation – This is the last item on the list, because I reserve the right and even responsibility to do so at times when others don’t abide by the first three principles. If others disregard science because of their religious beliefs, I will challenge that. If others say their religious beliefs are the only truth because of some historical event, I will question that to learn more. If others use their spiritual beliefs to justify an action or a policy I believe to be unjust, I will challenge their framework. However, apart from these exceptions, I seek only to understand in a meaningful way the beliefs of others in order to validate them on their spiritual journey. I expect the same in return.

Now, if you have spiritual beliefs that follow all of the above, but there is no experiential basis that drives them, the whole enterprise is worthless. The POINT is the experience of the divine, however we understand that. From that experience, there will undoubtedly arise questions of a scientific nature that demand to be explored or simply a desire to more fully understand the science we know. The experiences will probably be heavily inspired by our historical and philosophical understandings of the world. They will also be a major input for what we believe to be moral in our personal lives.

If I had to limit myself to one quality that would guarantee a responsible approach to spirituality, it would be humility – the recognition that while the experience of the divine is real (perhaps the most real thing there is), any attempt to explain or ground it will necessarily be lacking. As the Dao De Jing so eloquently states:

“The mere fact of discussing Tao makes it not Tao.”

This doesn’t mean it’s wrong to try, just that any description will always be far from the real thing.

I think my approach to spiritual beliefs might be similar to the model advocated for by the late Stephen Jay Gould of non-overlapping magisteria, or NOMA. However, without more thorough research, I wouldn’t make a hard claim to that effect. I think figuring out how to navigate the relationship between spirituality and science might be the most difficult middle path to walk.

So, how can we talk about our spiritual experiences and beliefs honestly and authentically without descending into dogmatism. I actually think it is a lot simpler than one might think. It involves describing felt experiences instead of stating perceived facts. How? Insert “I feel like” at the beginning of any description of your mystical sensations or metaphysical conclusions.

NOT: “The Holy Spirit filled me with wisdom and understanding.”
Instead: “I felt like the Holy Spirit filled me with wisdom and understanding.”

NOT: “Healing energy flowed from my body to theirs.”
Instead: “I felt like healing energy flowed from my body to theirs.”

NOT: “Our physical bodies will die, but the eternal conscious mindstream will continue on.”
Instead: “I feel like our physical bodies will die, but the eternal conscious mindstream will continue on.”

Dropping the word ‘like’ might be warranted if describing a particularly potent experience or important belief. However, this should be done sparingly and with caution. I think it entirely possible and desirable for people with widely differing spiritual beliefs to nonetheless be able to learn from and validate each other. It requires a big dollop of humility, which can be difficult to develop, but is more than worth it in the end.

Namaste.

To date this year, I have undertaken 2 monthly challenges. Both of them I completed with varying degrees of success. The journey was rather bumpy – my boot and resulting lack of mobility being a major factor.

I am adopting a new paradigm with regards to challenges. Previously, I would split my evaluations into two sections: What I learned and What I will continue to do going forward. I want to declutter my priorities and optimization in life and to accomplish this I need to let completed challenges stay in the past. What this means is that, while I will continue to assess how things went and what I learned, I will not make any hard plans about what I will do going forward with respect to the challenge. I am trying to develop more flow states, and this means easing up on the discipline I enforce in my life.

My insights from ‘Exploring Meditation’:

• Having a meditation go-bag is awesome – I bought a hiking backpack last year that I hardly ever use. It is perfect to store my collapsible and lightweight meditation bench, along with an ankle support, and some winter wear. Since I always had this packed up, all I had to do was grab it whenever I meditated somewhere other than home.
• I love writing meditations, even if they feel more social than meditative – The Buddhist writing meditations I attended started with a writing prompt that we would think and write about for the first 10-15 minutes. The rest of the hour involved individuals reading out their meditative essays with comments from fellow participants. I honestly wish more social events were structured in a similar fashion.
• Guided meditations are great if simple and tied to the breath – I utilized the Plum Village app, which I highly recommend. About 2/3 of the meditations were great, and these always involved simple intentions for the inhalation and exhalation followed by a couple minutes of silence between each. When this wasn’t the case, I felt like I was listening to a meditative podcast instead of actually meditating.

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• Dedicating practices helps establish a weekly theme – I neglected this more often than I remembered it, but when I did, it was always special. I love the idea of an intention for the week, and starting each meditation with that thought in mind made it real.

My insights from ‘30,000 Russian Twists’:

• Doing small amounts regularly is key – Obviously, the plan was 20 sets of 50 per day. What was really important, however, was at least starting each set, even if I didn’t do 50 reps. Making up a couple hundred at the end of the day or week is easily doable – making up a couple thousand not so much.
• Even when pushing yourself, set less than the absolute maximum – I’m sure I could have completed 50,000 twists instead of 30,000. However, that would have left no wiggle room. I missed a decent number of sets over the course of the month, but was always able to make them up later that day or on the weekend without overwhelming myself.
• Creating temporary uniformity can help with change – After I started wearing an orthotic boot on my left leg, I struggled with finding an exercise routine that worked. I tried doing some of my regular exercises but just on the right side or favoring the left side. I experimented with new exercises. None of it felt right until I just decided to pick one exercise and stick with that for the month.

Both of the challenges I’ve done this year involved some failure. The last day of the meditation exploration, I was going through some pretty bad depression and neglected my practice – it always feels worse to end badly than to start badly. Concerning my Russian twists , I may have lost count about 3 weeks into the challenge, so am not entirely sure I got to 30,000; if not, it was very close.

Nevertheless, failures and setbacks along the way don’t diminish the experience or the insights. So far in my current challenge, everything has been hunky-dory. However, I fully expect problems to arise and look forward to dealing with them as gracefully and skillfully as I can. This is middle way.

Namaste.

I have sworn off TV multiple times in the past, but invariably relapsed. My longest stretch was several months and that was a couple of years ago. My focus last year was harm reduction – carefully controlling when and how much I watched. With a few notable exceptions, I felt like I was managing gracefully.

However, since I fractured my foot the end of last year and have been in a boot most of this year, my commitment has weakened considerably. Although I did find alternative ways to exercise, and successfully completed an exercise monthly challenge, it didn’t provide the same benefits. Running, biking, hot yoga, and meditation were my 4 principal ways of coping with stress or uncomfortable emotions. Three of these I cannot do currently. I still meditate every day, but mostly indoors.

All of this led to some very bad tendencies resurfacing with regards to my viewing habits. I need to be more committed to finding other coping mechanisms. My goal this month is to formally work towards TV abstinence, but without expecting any increase in “productive” behavior. The goal is simply to replace it with more skillful activities.

Here are the particulars:

• Listen to fiction audiobook thrillers – I want to have one playing every time I drive to work. That way, I already have engagement in something I can use when I feel the urge to watch. The purpose this month is not to get more stuff done in a day because I watch less, but simply to replace whatever time I would have spent watching with alternative enjoyable habits.
• Taper bedtime viewing from 15-minute increments down to zero – I accomplished this during my month of sleep optimization, but regressed recently. I want to decrease the amount by 30 seconds each day, but allow the possibility of more increments after at least 2 minutes of sleep posture and bedtime audio. I have found that contingency especially powerful in the past.
• Make it a priority to download new audio each day for bedtime usage – This makes it easier to choose going to bed over watching a video, if I feel the urge. Also, I almost always fall asleep faster if something is playing than if there is silence.
• Decrease by 1 minute the amount of TV I consume during free time – Currently, I give myself 30 minutes to indulge at the end of the day (8PM), usually while eating a bowl of yogurt. I don’t want to decrease the overall amount of FT, just how much of it I spend watching shows. Reading, socializing, and blogging are all great alternatives.
• Join an addiction support group – I have attended addiction support groups sporadically at various times in the past. One I really appreciated was a Buddhist-flavored group that meets in Tyler. Sadly, it is not hybrid, but there are groups that are, assuming I cannot locate a suitable in-person possibility that is local.
• Experiment with mindful self pleasure – Though I have never been addicted to various visual or auditory aids in this regard, I do partake occasionally. Recently, I’ve found that this can sometimes precipitate a TV binge, so it has to go as well.

In addition to the above, I want to have conversations as I am able with family and friends to see if there are any fellow process addiction sufferers out there to create a personal support group for when the month is over. Unlike many challenges, which are meant to be temporary, my intention is that this will become permanent. I am already 6 days in and doing well.

Namaste.

I really need a physical challenge right now with my foot out of commission. Running is out, biking is out, and yoga is essentially out. What does that leave? Abs, primarily. This month will make the most out of my current disability.

The structure of this challenge will be similar to my month of 30,000 push-ups a couple of years ago. Basically, I am committing to 20 sessions of 50 twists each per day. The only other specifications are to use an 8-lb dumbbell, keep feet in the air, and touch the floor on each side every twist. Here is the detailed breakdown I will follow during the week.

For work days:

• First action upon arising (1 session) – Immediately after my feet hit the floor (or foot, in my case), I will complete one set on my yoga mat.
• Bookending both commutes (4 sessions) – This means I need to be ready to leave a couple of minutes earlier than I normally would to fit in these sets.
• Between each bell period (10 sessions) – There are 9 class periods and 2 meal periods during the day. With only 3 minutes maximum to spare during each transition, I will need to move quickly.
• During one of my free periods (1 session) – 2nd period is my planning period and 8th period is my conference period. Which one I use will vary based on the day.
• Between dinner and end-of-day free time (2 sessions) – I will probably do a set at 7PM and another set a few minutes before 8PM, though this will vary if I have a social event that conflicts.

For non-work days:

• During ab workout (3 sessions) – When I have time in the morning, I usually do 20 minutes of ab exercises, including timed reps of flutter kicks, crunches, and bicycle kicks.
• Top of each hour, starting at 8AM (13 sessions) – For the first couple days of the challenge, I will set an alarm to go off each hour. After a while, it should become second nature.
• Extras between breakfast and lunch (2 sessions) – A session every hour doesn’t quite cut it, and I would like to get sets done earlier rather than later.

For ALL days:

• Start of new day protocol (1 session) – This is my mental and physical transition practice at 8:30PM involving a shower, acupressure + handball, and lacrosse ball massage.
• During intensive exercise (1 session) – I generally complete 10 minutes of intensive exercise each evening around 9PM which includes hyperextension back twists, push-ups, and planks.

I hope this challenge will be good for my mind in addition to my body, as I have found myself dealing with increased incidents of depressed mood and sadness since I put my foot in a boot. May I grant myself all the grace and self-compassion I need while occupying my mind and body with something that is hard, empowering, and achievable.

Namaste.