Each month I make a monthly challenge for myself. This past month’s challenge was to not judge other people. The biggest way this benefited me was in making me more aware of when and how I am judging other people. This includes the jokes I make, the prayers I say, the musings I have, the opinions I express, and the agreements I give.

Do I think the ideal life is one of not judging others? Absolutely not! I feel the ideal life is one where all my judgments of others are righteous (John 7:24). This means a few things:

1. I have already judged and corrected myself. I usually see in others the faults that I possess. My first priority should be correcting my own life before meddling with others.
2. I realize everyone else is living for the same thing I am living for. I am living for personal fulfillment. So is everyone else I know. If I acknowledge this, I don’t view someone as bad or irritable, but simply misguided at worst if they disagree with me.
3. The only reason I judge others is to help them. I will not judge someone mentally or verbally unless I believe by doing so I can help them become a more fulfilled person. I will only tear down in order to build up better. 
4. I am able to realize a person’s awesomeness despite their beliefs with which I disagree. What this means is that before I judge someone I discover the good qualities they possess and form a positive image of them based on these. Then, my judgment is balanced out by all the favorable impressions I have formed of them already.

This attitude of no judging has also affected my prayer life. I used to pray for what I felt people needed mostly, which is a judgment of them. Though I still do this, I now include much more praying for what I think people would want me to pray for them. This makes me excited to see them so I can find out more of how I should pray for them.

All in all, this adventure with being non-judgmental of others has been productive. Please see this post and this post for more thoughts on judging others.

I know that by nature I tend to be a reserved and calculated person. For this reason, I doubt I will ever do a month of ‘thinking before every action.’ I do this a lot already. even with the most mundane of activities. However, I would like to increase my confidence level, and I believe one of the best ways to do this is to just purpose to be more decisive, especially with smaller decisions. The ground rules for this challenge are pretty simple.

• Make “minor” decisions quickly. This includes most of the decisions I make on a daily and weekly basis. This does not forbid thought, but the thought should be quick and straightforward and an action taken promptly. No deliberation (and I know what that is)!
• Make “major” decisions with productive thought. Longer thought processes may be used for more important decisions.This still does not allow for lengthy deliberations. Moreover, there should be no brooding (unproductive deep thought).
• Categorize “major” and “minor” decisions quickly. Don’t try to figure out what parameters make an action major or minor, just quickly put each decision you face into one of these categories. If you are not sure, think of it as minor.

What decision I make or what action I take is not what is important here. The goal is to make the decision and take the action promptly and decisively.

This month may force me to rely a bit more on my instincts. I think this will be good in balancing out my very reason-oriented outlook on life.

I have been trying to find a good balance on caring what other people think of me, specifically my appearance. On the one hand, the desire to be seen favorably by others is good and useful, particularly to increase the depth of your relationships and further your career. However, feeding this desire too much can cause excessive anxiety and an overfocus on trivialities.

I think I have finally settled on something I will call punctuated oblivion. This is a recognition that though in a general sense, I do want to be concerned with others’ perceptions of me, in specific incidents I don’t want to let these concerns paralyze me. To put it another way,  in a third-person sense, I will be aware of what others think of me. However, in a first-person sense, I will be oblivious toward their thoughts of me.

So, when will I be oblivious and when will I be conscious of this? For starters, this will work nicely with the appointed times I already have in place. During each philosophical appointed time, I will allow and even encourage myself to really care what others think of me, so I can make changes for the better. I will also make a quick mental preview of the upcoming week, and think about what I will do in the situations where I might lapse into caring what others think of me.

Once I enter into a scientific appointed time, I will simply try to follow the plan I established during the philosophical. Beyond this, I will try to be as unconcerned about what others think of me as possible. I will do this by really putting all my energy and attention into the activities I want to accomplish each day.

Very important to all of this is what I intend to do with my thoughts. There will be things I want to accomplish with my thoughts as well as my actions. For example, I want to pray for certain people each day and each week, as well as have different scripture passages I think upon and recite to myself. This is not a burdensome list, just some things to have my mind focused on rather than blank and prone to exaggerate the opinions of others.

The last aspect of this paradigm is to establish definite times during the week in which to think about and try to improve my appearance (as well as communication and other aspects of who I am) so others will think more highly of me. These times will be strictly monitored to avoid getting stuck brooding about something. So, for example, I will probably allow ten minutes in the morning before I leave for the day to care what others think of my appearance. After this, however, I will become oblivious of this and just try to apply myself 100% to the activities at hand.

If no one else was around, all I would care about would be function. I would not care how long or short my shirt was or the pimples on my face. So, the majority of my time throughout the week I will attempt to just focus on fulfilling my plans and reaching my goals for that day or week as if no one else was around.

One final note: this punctuated oblivion only goes one way. Meaning, I will still be considerate of others feelings and try to love them as myself. So, if something I am doing is aggravating someone, I will stop. However, I will do this not because I care what they think about me, but because I want them to be happy. The focus will be on them, not me.

There are some major paradigms one needs to have in place in order to survive and thrive in life. These include how to deal with philosophical uncertainty, how to deal with physical pain, and how to deal with psychological distress.

I have a paradigm that I have been using for about a year that helps me deal with philosophical uncertainty, namely, living in appointed times by faith. I am currently working on paradigms to deal with physical pain and psychological distress.

To keep things simple, though, it is helpful to just think of this present moment. What should I be doing right now? This is especially helpful if you already have a general time paradigm in place, as I do. Usually, my consciousness can lead me in the right direction as far as the next activity or thought focus goes. Brooding, which I define as unproductive deep thought, is never the next right thing.

What if I genuinely do not know what the next right thing or best action is? In this case, some principles should be kept in mind.

• Always fulfill vows. If you don’t have any vows that you need to keep, then you don’t need to worry about this. However, if you have made a vow or two, you should make sure you keep these at all costs, even if you neglect virtually everything else.
• Be proactive with monthly challenge. If you have followed my blog for the past couple months, you will have noticed that I make a monthly challenge each month. Whatever I do or don’t do with other areas of my life, this should be something into which I put energy and attention. If you don’t do this, I would highly encourage you to start.
• Don’t negate other focuses. In addition to vows and monthly challenges, I also have other general focuses, either Scriptural or conscious-related. These don’t always have to be positively pursued, but they definitely should not be disregarded either. If you had a focus of doing good to someone you know, at the very least make sure you don’t do them harm.
• Do things that are both urgent and important. This point kind of goes without saying, but needs to be said in case you are just really down in the dumps or questioning the meaning of everything in life. Allow your common sense to determine what these are if needed. Exercising is usually important but not urgent. Preparing for a Toastmasters speech before I need to leave for the meeting is urgent but not that important. I could just give a sub-par speech, or call the president and say I cannot make it that evening.

I am hoping that by writing this down and looking at it, I will make these instructions a part of my life. As I am writing this, I have a headache and the tendons in my arm and wrist hurt, but I am committed to do the next right thing. How about you?

I am about halfway through my month of no judging. This focus has been more difficult than I thought it would be, but for a different reason than you might think. I actually feel like I am doing very well at not making value judgments about people based on their appearance, beliefs, attitudes, or actions – at least not directly.

One of the biggest questions I have had in regards to not judging others is how to label an idea false based on the logic I am using to understand it, without implying that people who believe that idea are somewhat inferior or deceived. Even in the times I do make this distinction in my mind, I am not so sure the people around me make the same distinction, and so they could feel judged even if I thought I was being neutral.

Another problem I have sometimes is sarcasm. When I satirize someone in my own mind or in the presence of others, I think it is inevitably a negative judgment of them. Yes, it is a joke. But the joke gets its punch from the supposed laughable actions or beliefs of another. A simple question I have asked myself: would I ever want to be the object of satire? No, I would not. So, should I be doing this to others?

So, I have made some clarifications for the rest of this month that will help me make the right judgment calls (pun intended).

• Avoid studying, thinking, and talking about controversial subjects. I am not banning myself from these arenas entirely at this time, but am limiting my exposure to them. If I don’t have a specific “need” to engage in these subjects, I will err on the side of simply not focusing on them for the present.
• Avoid all sarcasm and satire. I am thinking this prohibition will probably continue beyond my month of no judging. I cannot think of any very good reasons to think or speak in this fashion.
• Avoid default judging by always directing thoughts. One of my Scriptural focuses for the past 6 months has been ‘taking captive every thought.’ However, I shielded philosophical appointed times from this focus from the beginning and recently have become less structured with my thoughts in general. For the next two weeks of this monthly challenge, I want to really take ownership of all my thoughts. There will be several streams of thought that I can default to instead of judging: contemplating scripture, giving thanks, thinking about others (just in a neutral way – who are they, what do they like, etc.), thinking to the Father, making melody in my heart, and focusing on breath.
• Avoid judging yourself too much. The hardest thing to conquer in the area of judging is losing the judgmental attitude. Sometimes the judgment I have of others is simply runoff from being overly critical of myself.

I believe these clarifications will help me out a great deal as I discover how to not judge other people. This focus has made me very conscious of what I say and how I say it. I am definitely more conscious of when I am judging or about to judge others.

My first monthly challenge was, for the most part, a success. I had about a dozen exceptions (usually for specific meals) that I allowed during the month. I also cheated a couple times when playing the piano, but these times were few and far between.

I stopped for a 10-minute break after each hour of driving on my drive to and from Houston. This was very beneficial, though I am going to modify it slightly. In future, I will take a 5-minute break after every 45 minutes of driving. I don’t think the length of the break has as much benefit as just having more breaks.

Whenever I arrived at my destination after driving, I tried to get out of the car as quickly as possible to minimize sitting time. This also made me more decisive and waste less time rummaging in the car.

The exceptions I made were done consciously and not spur of the moment, except for a couple. During these exceptions, I tried to focus on perfect posture and really connecting my feet to the ground. This was good training in being more mindful when I do need to sit.

The beginning of the month, I was sitting in hero pose on a couple of pillows or cross-legged to work on my computer as well as do other things. However, by the end of the month I had created a standing workstation that I feel is much better for me at this time, especially considering how tight my hamstrings are.

I really believe now that every position we put our body in is bad if left in that position too long. This applies to sitting, standing, squatting, lying down, or any modification of these positions. The more we move, fidget, adjust, and flow from one position to another, the better for our overall balance, function, and health. On a side note, perhaps this is why I enjoy yoga as much as I do, because you are always flowing from posture to posture and incorporating breathing into all of it.

I really enjoyed having a monthly challenge and will definitely continue this practice. Intentional living is awesome, and even when it is not, at least you have something to focus on doing (or not doing)!

Tomorrow, I will begin my next monthly challenge: a month of no judging other people. While my first monthly challenge was fairly concrete, this next one is more ambiguous.

I am not limiting myself from making judgments of non-human entities, unless doing so would indirectly criticize people. I am not limiting myself from making judgments of other humans either, as long as the judgment is neutral. However, if a judgment directly or indirectly implies a person is good, bad, better, or worse, then I will avoid it.

I am avoiding both negative and positive judgments, because positive judgments give the implication that those who are not doing what is being praised are inferior. Thus, a positive judgment of one person is almost invariably a negative judgment of another person. It does not have to be, but it is more times than not. However, I will not monitor the positive judgments too strictly, as it is the negative ones with which I am most concerned.

Neutral judgments are fine. If I see someone always watching what they eat, I might judge that they are trying to lose weight or eat more healthy, but I don’t say they are good or bad for doing so. Even in these cases, I will be very careful what I say, because even though I may not be assigning a value judgment to an action, others still might perceive it as being judgmental. Here is what I will do if I find myself judging other people:

1. Turn the judgment upon myself. I have noticed that most of the things I judge others about are also things with which I struggle. So, when I find myself having these thoughts, I am going to scan my life and look for the character flaw from which they most likely originated.
2. Do something, however small, to correct the fault I discover in myself. This doesn’t mean I will make it my next major focus in life; it just means doing something to lessen it. For example, suppose I find myself judging someone for being harsh. I scan myself and realize that I can often be cold toward others when just focusing on accomplishing my own agenda. I purpose to smile more often and memorize a verse about a bright countenance.
3. Stop judging completely. After turning the judgment away from another person and onto myself, and having made a small correction, I will then lose the whole judging complex. I will stop judging myself. While judging yourself periodically and making correction to your life is a great practice, wallowing in self-loathing is decidedly not so.

Another thing I am really going to watch out for is judging the judgmental, which I wrote about here. When I become less judgmental of people in general, I tend to become more judgmental of those who judge. But this is inconsistent.

My prayers will be very general this month. In prayers for others, I will allow  myself to thank the Father for other people’s good qualities and might pray for something specifically if I know or feel strongly they would want me to do that.

One last thing I want to mention. My primary motivation for doing this is not Scriptural. A couple of weeks ago, I was thinking of making Matthew 7:1 (Judge not, that ye be not judged) my next Scripture focus, but ended up deciding on something else. However, I felt being more mindful of my judgments would be a good practice regardless, and so decided to make it my next monthly challenge, since I have been thinking about it a lot.

In the next post, I will update you on how my month of no sitting progressed.

With a title like that, this had better be a good blog post, right?

The first thing that needs to be addressed is the word ‘meaningful’. Here are some things I do not mean when I use this word:

• Exciting. Though there are a lot of things that I do which I find quite exciting on one or multiple levels, there are definitely other things I do which are just as meaningful but lack the excitement.
• Easy. A lot of things that are worth doing are not easy. Also, the word ‘easy’ usually means something that appeals to our fleshly desires. With this understanding, my definition of meaningful would include nothing easy.
• Appreciated by others. It is always nice to feel like others respect you for what you do, but sometimes doing meaningful things will make others think you are weird. Or, they may hate the meaning you have in your life and seek to do you harm.
• Emotionally fulfilling. Something meaningful will produce emotional fulfillment. However, it will almost never be immediate. And since I usually think of an activity as being emotionally fulfilling if I experience this type of fulfillment while doing the activity, this would mean that much of what I define as meaningful would not fit into this category.

I define a meaningful activity as one that I believe will move me closer to the most ideal state of existence. This of necessity would involve eternity. So, perhaps I should retitle this post, How to make everything you do in life eternally meaningful. By definition, this excludes everything done by most atheists as being meaningful (unless you are an atheist that believes in eternity somehow). I am not trying to offend by saying that; this is simply what my definition of meaning requires.

At this point, you must ask yourself this question. Are you 100% confident that what you are doing now will move you closer to the most ideal state of existence in eternity? If so, you need only follow what you already know. However, I’m assuming most of you are like me and not 100% confident, though you do feel like you have some pretty good guesses.

You need to do two things now. First, define in a nutshell what an ideal state of existence would be for you. Obviously, you cannot give a full definition, since you have never experienced this, and can only think about it. However, give it your best shot. My ideal existence would be one where I was living in total health and consciousness forever, and I believe this can only happen when I have an ever-present connection with the eternal YHVH.

Second, lay out a paradigm of how to view time, so you can always be moving towards this goal. You cannot push the pause button in life and figure everything out and then push play and act on your deliberatation. You have to deliberate, think, and plan as you are going through life. You need to create a paradigm of how you manage time in order to do this successfully. The way I solve this is through my paradigm of living in appointed times by faith. See my post on this subject, as well as part 2, part 3, and part 4 if you want to understand what this means.

Everything I do in life is meaningful now that I am following these paradigms. It may not be exciting. It may not be easy. It may not be appreciated by others. It may not be emotionally fulfilling right now. However, it is all eternally meaningful. Please share your thoughts if you have some ideas on meaning that are different than mine. I would love to hear them.

There are many things about my physical body that I would gladly trade off for someone else’s. I have chronic tendon pain in my wrists and arms, chronic mid-back pain from my kyphoscoliosis, and chronic sinus problems of one kind or another. My hair is balding in the front and in the back, I almost always have pimples on my face (I have used creams, taken pills, and changed my diet), and my hamstrings are incredibly tight even though I stretch them profusely. I work on all these aspects of my health and appearance. Sometimes they get better and sometimes they get worse.

If I had the option, I would love to exchange a lot of my health and features for someone else’s. However, I LOVE my consciousness. This is what keeps me going even when all the other problems weigh down on me at the same time and helps me to rise above all that mess. I would not trade my consciousness for anything in the world. What is my consciousness, you ask?

1. Is it knowledge? Well, not exactly, though it does include some of this. However, although I have a fair amount of knowledge in a lot of areas, there are still many areas where I know little or nothing at all.
2. Is it skill? No, though there are many skills my sense of consciousness has helped to develop. However, probably the area I am most skilled in is music and there are plenty of people I can name that I could exchange my skills for and be much better off.
3. Is it achievements? No. Achievements are all in the past and resting on my laurels, what few of them there are, does not constitute who I am.

My consciousness is my sense of identity and purpose. This entire blog for the most part is an outworking of my consciousness. If you look at the About Me page you will see the meaning of my name and my purpose statements. If you look at my Statement of Belief page you will see my journey in articulating my identity. Can I fully describe what I mean when I say my consciousness? No, I cannot. Ultimately, it is a metaphysical reality that must be experienced and only can be explained crudely.

Why is this? Well, it has its origin in the divine, the source of all energy, all matter, and all time. I was created with the capacity to know this person, and the pursuit of that connection is worth everything. I am infinitesimally important because He is infinite.

Find your consciousness. Find your identity. Find your purpose. This will sustain you even when everything else in life betrays you.