Hands-down, one of the best books I have read in the past decade is Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Kristin Neff. The challenge this month is based on one of the exercises outlined in the book, and does a good job of blending all three elements of self-compassion: mindfulness, self-kindness, and a recognition of our common humanity. The exercise involves 3 aspects related to my critical self-talk:

• Noticing
  1. Verbalize my inner speech verbatim – I want to become more aware of my critical self-talk by simply externalizing it in a neutral way. For example, I might say, “I hear this sentence in my head,” or “This thought is arising within me.”
  2. Recall key phrases – More than likely there will be certain refrains that repeat on a somewhat regular basis and I want to become aware of exactly what these are. Maybe I’ll even write them down so I really see them.
  3. Pay attention to the tone of voice – I need to get to know my inner critic very well, and this means being aware of its quality as well as it substance. Perhaps it reminds me of someone who has been critical of me or just of a former version of myself.
• Softening
  1. Send compassion, not judgment – After I have fully processed what my inner speech is, the first priority is not to condemn myself for having these thoughts, but simply to tell myself, “Having those thoughts must be tough; hang in there!”
  2. Talk to my inner critic – I want to acknowledge the likely valid reasons this voice has for what it says (protection, improvement), but inform it that unfortunately, it often has the opposite effect of its intention.
  3. Ask him to ease off – I don’t want to do the same thing to him that he has been doing to me. After stating my concerns, I will politely request that it stop or at least lower its volume so I can process things effectively.
• Reframing
  1. Imagine what a very compassionate friend would say – The ultimate objective for my self-talk is to transform it into something positive and helpful. I can do this by thinking what someone else might say to help me or I might say to help them.
  2. Use a term of endearment – I want to play around with different terms I can use when talking to myself in this way, such as “Babe” or “Bro.” This also can be very helpful when compassionately criticizing.
  3. Utilize physical gestures of warmth – This helps to tap into my inbuilt caregiving system, so I can harness my biochemistry for assistance. Possible actions include stroking my arm, holding my face tenderly, and hugging myself.

This month’s challenge will have 3 components:

1. At least 2x/day notice, soften, and reframe – Follow the above procedure, though I don’t have to always do each of the steps. But align with the general format.
2. Cognitive journaling 1x/day – I will incorporate this into my new day protocol at the end of each day. Basically, I want to record some of the mental processes I went through during the course of the day, including the initial critical self-talk and my eventual reframe.
3. Type and print up 1 phrase every day – I want to find one word or phrase each day that really speaks to me or reminds me to become more aware of my inner speech. I have found in the past that posting inspiring phrases in my environment is incredibly impactful.

Being a supportive mentor instead of a demanding taskmaster is still a very novel concept for me. I expect that there will be times when I balk at this process, think it makes me weak, or have trouble justifying the effort. However, based on all the therapy and mindfulness practices I have undergone in the past 5 years, I truly believe this will ultimately be a wise practice, even if it feels pedantic at times during this trial period. The goal is to get to the point where this becomes my default programming.

Namaste.

One of the 3 universal truths that I mentioned when I outlined Buddhism in my last post is that of karma. My colloquial way of stating this truth is “We reap what we sow.” Like the universal truths of conservation and impermanence, everyone accepts this at least on some base physical level. We know that the sum of matter and energy in the universe is a constant: conservation. We know experientially that everything breaks down or changes: impermanence. We also know that the effort or lack thereof we put in today has a direct correlation with the result or lack of one we get out tomorrow: karma.

For some Buddhists, this is as far as they like to take any of these truths, and that is perfectly fine. However, I have found incredible value in pushing these a bit further out. I don’t just believe that matter and energy are conserved, but that consciousness is conserved as well. I don’t just believe that my conscious beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors right now affect my body and mind later in life, but that this effect carries on to the conscious mindstream even after “I” have ceased to exist.

Both of the concepts mentioned above are part of the Buddhist doctrine of rebirth. I don’t talk about rebirth much because the dialogue can quickly devolve into rank speculation about the nature of reality both past and future. However, skillfully understanding karma I think can be incredibly empowering while also keeping one centered in the present.

To address the question posed in the title, my simple answer would be: is it skillful? If so, it is an empowering belief. If not, it is superstitious nonsense. In the context of karma, what is and is not skillful will obviously vary from person to person. With that in mind, here are some applications of karma I find to be unskillful:

• “What goes around, comes around” – I don’t fundamentally disagree with this sentiment, but I think it is often applied far too narrowly and usually with vengeful overtones. Corollaries to this would be “he’ll get what’s coming to him” and “served him right.” I find the anticipation of or pleasure in someone’s comeuppance to be ruminations that take us away from a place of lovingkindness and equanimity.
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• “A person’s degree of success or happiness in their current life is directly linked to a previous life” – To the degree that we should judge anyone, I believe it should only be related to their current actions, beliefs, and attitudes in THIS life, not some hypothetical former existence. Also, this sentiment stinks of determinism, which, at least in its extreme form, I would counsel everyone to run away from at a thousand miles an hour! (No offense to Sam Harris, Robert Sapolsky, or Alex O’Connor – I love all of you!)
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• “Good karma is a result of good deeds done for others, while bad karma results from intentional harm caused to others” – No, no, no! This may be one source of karma, but not the only one, and not the most fundamental one. The reason I react so forcefully to this popular idea is that it implies a rigid distinction between myself and others. I believe one of the most skillful and empowering things a person can do is work on deconstructing this division, either by eliminating our sense of self or expanding it to include as many people and things around us as possible.

So, if I don’t subscribe to the above classic understandings of karma, then what does it mean to me? Put simply, that there are eternal implications related to how I show up to each and every moment of my life. Also, that the more difficult, challenging, or painful the circumstance is in which I find myself, the greater the potential for positive karma. I don’t get hung up on exactly how this manifests or what exactly the nature of consciousness is, only that it DOES manifest and its vehicle IS consciousness.

For me, especially in the context of major depression, anxiety, and shame, this belief has been one of the most empowering beliefs I have ever adopted. I want to be frank: this belief definitely has some costs associated with it, principally related to explaining what I do and don’t mean by the word karma with other people that may be unfamiliar or even antagonistic to the idea.

However, at this point, the benefits FAR outweigh the costs. I think that is what acting skillfully or living truthfully is all about. What about you? Do you have an idea of karma that actually limits you? Are you rejecting this concept solely because it is unfamiliar or requires some maintenance?

The question I hope you ask yourself is, “Is this belief skillful?” The answer may be no, and if so, that is cool. But if the answer is yes, whether on this topic or anything else, don’t let aversion to change cause you to avoid a belief that could supercharge your life.

Namaste.

When I was a Christian, I found that people used the label to encompass everything from just vibing with the personality of the Christ, to believing in a series of historical claims like the resurrection of Jesus, the Virgin Birth, and other miracles, to following a certain series of moral teachings. There could be several different people that all used the label ‘Christian’ but didn’t really have any common beliefs at all. I decided to create a definition that included the overwhelming majority of self-described Christians but also had a specific and definite meaning. To read my earlier musings on this, click here.

Virtually all of the people that I encounter face-to-face in my everyday life are not Buddhists, and many don’t even have a good conception of what Buddhism really is. I want to start a series of blog posts that I can point people to for a fuller explanation of what Buddhism means to me. This will be the first blog post of many unpacking the basic understanding and principles of this philosophy of life.

In a nutshell, a Buddhist is anyone who accepts the 4 noble truths and seeks to follow the 8-fold path or circle. Here is my abbreviated formulation:

The 4 Noble Truths:

1. The Truth of Suffering – Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
2. The Truth of the Cause of Suffering – All suffering is caused by attachment.
3. The Truth of the Cessation of Suffering – Suffering can be managed gracefully and ultimately be eliminated.
4. The Truth of the Way Leading to the Cessation of Suffering – The path to end suffering is the eightfold circle.

The 8-fold circle:

1. Skillful Understanding: Recognize the 3 universal truths and the 3 marks of experience
2. Skillful Thought: Avoid the 3 poisons; master the art of living
3. Skillful Speech: Is what I am about to say an improvement over maintaining silence?
4. Skillful Action: Don’t cause pain (5 precepts); take every opportunity to alleviate pain
5. Skillful Livelihood: Ask 2 questions: What do I do? What does it do for me?
6. Skillful Effort: Nurture the 4 heavenly abodes; notice the 5 mind hindrances
7. Skillful Mindfulness: Purposeful, present, non-judgmental awareness
8. Skillful Concentration: Meditation practice (both passive and active)

I could easily spend several posts on each of these tenets to fully flesh them out. I intend on doing just this on and off over the course of the next year. However, if I wanted to get down to brass tacks, I would say the following:

• Everything is impermanent – I am not the same person today that I was 10 years ago, or 1 year ago, or 1 week ago, or even 1 minute ago. In fact, this is true with everything and everyone in the world around me.
• Because nothing lasts, becoming attached will always result in suffering – This just logically follows. The most obvious form of suffering due to attachment can be seen with addictions, but the same principle is true with any physical or emotional attachment. It even applies to being attached to our conception of the self.
• Curiosity and compassion allows us to recognize and start releasing attachments – I can’t ultimately free myself of attachments by just replacing them with different ones. I need to just start becoming aware and then releasing them, and this is best facilitated by blanketing our lives with curiosity and compassion.
• Utilize middle path – This is an ongoing process and it works best if we find a pace and expectations that are appropriate for the level of consciousness we are currently operating from. Embrace the mystery of the journey without getting fixated on a particular destination.

Traditional formulations of the eightfold path will use the word ‘right’ instead of ‘skillful.’ I will sometimes use this as well, but in the context of what is right or effective for me. I find very little use in rigid delineations of what is right and wrong or good and bad.

A better question: is the action, thought, belief, or behavior I am participating in skillful? Does it allow me deeper connections with myself and other people? Does it allow me to navigate life more efficiently? Does it promote wholeness, compassion, and equanimity? If so, whatever label someone wishes to put on it, that is what I want to do.

Namaste.

This downtime challenge, along with my current one-mind challenge and my new year’s intention of choosing gratitude, has been one of the best things I have initiated this year. Instead of viewing downtime as an unfortunate time-waster and a pipeline to mindless distraction, I chose to view it as an opportunity for presence and skillful action. I feel like the underlying theme of my life this year has been showing up to the small, sad, or silly moments of life with radical acceptance, curiosity, and optimism.

My downtime challenge was incredibly simple in its goal. I’m learning that crafting simplicity is almost always much more effective in the long run than just sheer effort. Basically, I wanted to change the way I viewed downtime and proposed doing so by observing myself for a moment and then choosing a skillful action depending on the situation.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE CHALLENGE:

• Enjoyment in mundane, everyday situations is always possible. You might need to put a little extra effort both in the moment and in mental preparation the night before, but it is well worth it. You can make life interesting even in situations where it doesn’t naturally seem so.
• I can exert a sense of control even in situations where I don’t have it. I don’t have control over how fast the printer spits out pages or how long a staff meeting is going to last, but I can always control the mind style or point of view I choose to bring to the situation. Perception may not be reality with regards to material objects, but it is most certainly true when it comes to mind states.
• I have less fear of unknown situations. As someone that has used the excuse of chronic pain to avoid a lot of novel and untested experiences, I know that a lot of this avoidance boiled down to a fear of the unknown, which – yes – my chronic pain exacerbated. If I build up the skill of intentionally navigating downtime, this becomes much less prominent.

WHAT I WANT TO CONTINUE GOING FORWARD:

• Allow some more downtime into my life. I want to lighten up a bit with how much I try to maximize time efficiency. I am going to allow myself to be more spontaneous, knowing that I can handle the “dead” time that may be part of the package.
• Approach more situations from a perspective of maximizing my presence and participation instead of how much I accomplish. I want to embrace my thoughts, feelings, and desires more instead of just being a slave to “getting the job done”. I am choosing to view the journey as not just something that is important, but really the ONLY thing that matters. I will reach destinations along the way, and I can celebrate these, but the journey is where it’s at!

I feel like my current goal of living one-mindfully is an organic continuation of intentional downtime and is squaring the results I gained from this former challenge.

May you show yourself love by bringing your whole presence into the small, the sad, and the silly moments of your life. May you be at peace.

Namaste.

In Marsha Linehan’s formative therapy manual, DBT Skills Training, mindfulness is one of the 4 core nodes of dialectical behavior therapy. The goal of mindfulness practice in the context of DBT is developing Wise Mind, which is characterized as the inner wisdom within each person which seamlessly blends reason and emotion in taking skillful action. Arguably, the eightfold path of Buddhism is also about cultivating this mind state. Central to this endeavor is the distinction between pain and suffering and the truth of impermanence. In this context, it is called the Middle Way.

Linehan’s manual describes three “What” skills (Observing, Describing, Participating) and three “How” skills (Nonjudgmentally, One-Mindfully, Effectively) to use when practicing mindfulness. I have used all of these fairly regularly and some of them quite extensively over the last few years. However, one that I have not practiced much outside of the context of meditation is behaving one-mindfully.

Acting one-mindfully involves riveting oneself to the present moment and doing ONE and ONLY ONE thing at a time. This involves letting go of distractions by not feeding or fighting them. Just acknowledge their presence and then return the attention back to the present action. It also involves concentration to ensure you don’t lapse into multitasking, as simple as the other action may be. Again, acknowledge the shift in attention and then return to the one thing that you are doing.

In the context of one-mindfulness, I am a default multi-tasker. I don’t mean this in the traditional sense of a person doing two different physical processes or two different mental processes at the same time. A physical multitasker could be someone that is balancing their books at the same time that they are in a zoom business meeting with a client. A mental multitasker could be someone that is estimating their grocery bill at the same time as they are seriously pondering the ethics of eating meat.

I’m genuinely skeptical of whether true multitasking in this context is even really possible, and in the few cases where it is possible, if it is truly effective. However, the multitasking I am terminally guilty of is the part-mental, part-physical kind. This is where I am walking to my car but my mind is totally occupied with worrying about something I said earlier in the day. Or I am brushing my teeth but fixedly ruminating on a specific emotion I am feeling.

This is the type of multitasking I do the vast majority of my waking hours, unless I am involved in a project that demands my full and undivided attention, and even then this brand of multitasking generally finds a way to manifest. I don’t know if this is because of my borderline-bipolar, highly sensitive person attributes or if this is generally true of most people.

What I do know is that although this behavior can sometimes be productive and effective, it more often has the tendency of just cluttering up my mind with unskillful thoughts, emotions, and urges. Living one-mindfully means actively courting the opposite of this type of multitasking. It means using practice and concentration to actively be involved in only one thing at a time, at least where this is attainable.

I may not be able to do this when I am actively teaching, which usually involves a combination of effectively communicating the lesson, monitoring for discipline issues, and scanning for student engagement to recalibrate my lesson as needed. However, I can practice acting one-mindfully the moment I stop actively teaching, and definitely all those moments throughout the day where I am just doing normal everyday routines (taking a shower, brushing teeth, driving the car, walking, eating, practicing yoga, etc.).

Because adopting this mentality is so foreign to me, this month’s challenge will be small and manageable. My commitment is to take three actions every day and complete them one-mindfully. These may end up being the same three actions every day, or they might vary from day to day. Below are the specific parameters:

• Begin each meditation practice with at least 2 minutes of mindfulness – My normal daily meditation practice, whether 5 minutes or 45 minutes, generally starts with body scanning, breathwork, and lovingkindness meditation before getting to pure mindfulness. To help me initiate this more effectively with physical actions throughout the day, I want to start all my meditation practices with the same mindset.
• Add one-mindfulness planning to New Day Protocol – Every night at 8:30pm, I begin what I call ‘New Day Protocol.’ I have found it very effective and empowering to view days as beginning in the evening instead of the morning. This usually involves a quick cold shower followed by some body conditioning and exercise, followed by a planning and reflection period. To this last section, I want to purposefully pick out 3 activities for the following day that I will approach one-mindfully.
• Engage one-mindfully for at least 5 minutes at the start of the activity – I am not committing myself to more than I can handle. If after 5 minutes, I want to revert to my default of either mindful distraction or just cluttered thoughts, that is perfectly acceptable.
• Encourage spontaneously adopting a one-mind attitude – I want to allow and foster initiating one-mind in activities I didn’t plan for. This can be substituted for one of the ones I had scheduled beforehand or better yet can be an additional practice.
• Initiate a non-routine activity once during the weekend – Sometime between when I start PAT on Saturday and before 7PM on Sunday, I want to do something I don’t normally do for the express purpose of living one-mindfully.

I think this month’s challenge might have a somewhat unrelated upside: helping to balance out my personality. As an INTJ, my default is to constantly be perspective-shifting, known in the Meyers-Briggs system as introverted intuition. I obviously can’t (and don’t want to) get rid of this baseline, but I would like to have it be more physically and emotionally grounded and less cerebral in origin.

Namaste.

Today I want to review the last 2 Scriptures I read the beginning of this year: the Apocrypha (Catholicism) and the Shri Guru Granth Sahib (Sikhism), hereafter abbreviated as SGGS.

APOCRYPHA:

The first wrote, Wine is the strongest. The second wrote, The king is strongest. The third wrote, Women are strongest: but above all things Truth beareth away the victory.

I honestly don’t have a lot to comment on about this quote. All of these things (wine, government, women, and truth) can have tremendous power. The truth definitely survives longer than the others, so in that since it is the victor. This is one of those phrases or sayings that can seem super profound, but I think the main reason some people might view it that way has more to do with it being in some ancient book of Scriptures than anything else.

The following four excerpts are either events that are spoken of in a positive light or direct commentary/instruction. In all cases, the moral being espoused or the general truth arrived at seems quite bizarre.

All these had taken strange wives, and they put them away with their children. (Esdras)

This follows Esdras returning to Jerusalem and being shocked at the Jews intermarrying with non-Jews. I am definitely a proponent of conscious uncoupling in certain situations. However, putting away the children? I have no words.

He ran, and slew him upon the altar.
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Thus dealt he zealously for the law of God like as Phinees did unto Zambri the son of Salom. (Mattathias)

This describes the actions of Mattathias upon seeing a fellow countrymen going to sacrifice something (possibly a pig) upon an altar dedicated to an idol. Now let’s just grant that what his fellow countryman did was the most despicable thing imaginable (something I don’t accept). Even in this case, does it justify murdering him? In actuality, the man was either an unwilling hostage to a decree from a hostile king or someone who actually believed in worshipping idols. In either case, not someone deserving of the death penalty.

He that is honoured in poverty, how much more in riches? and he that is dishonourable in riches, how much more in poverty?

The tyranny of merit on full display here. Why the random dissing of the poor? Baked into the cake is the assumption that being poor is due to moral failing instead of just the economic reality of the situation.

Receive a stranger into thine house, and he will disturb thee, and turn thee out of thine own.

Here we have a random dissing of hospitality. Sure, the above could happen. But couldn’t the opposite happen as well? And isn’t their virtue in helping others for the principle of it, regardless of the consequences?

The following 2 excerpts are included just because they are bitingly memorable ways to die. The first one is about a soldier named Eleazar. The second is about an elder called Razis.

He crept under the elephant, and thrust him under, and slew him: whereupon the elephant fell down upon him, and there he died.
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Though his blood gushed out like spouts of water, and his wounds were grievous, yet he ran through the midst of the throng; and standing upon a steep rock, When as his blood was now quite gone, he plucked out his bowels, and taking them in both his hands, he cast them upon the throng, and calling upon the Lord of life and spirit to restore him those again, he thus died.

The last passage talks about the fear of God. This is a common refrain in the Bible at large.

The fear of the Lord is a crown of wisdom, making peace and perfect health to flourish.

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The root of wisdom is to fear the Lord, and the branches thereof are long life. The fear of the Lord driveth away sins: and where it is present, it turneth away wrath.

Obviously, in order to comment on these passages, the words ‘fear’ and ‘wisdom’ have to be defined. To steel man the passage, I will assume that by ‘fear’ what is actually meant is ‘awe.’ I take it to be apparent that anxiety, terror, or trepidation is NOT the root of anything approaching wisdom (thought it DEFINITELY could prompt action). I believe a necessary part of wisdom is the ability to make sound judgment.

So, the passage could be rewritten as, “Being in awe of God is the most critical component of making sound judgments.” Again, to steel man this, I could say that without belief in something beyond the material existence we inhabit, it is much more likely someone will give in to some sort of nihilism, which could mute their judgment-making capacity. While I grant that this could be true (it definitely was in my life), I still would say that at best having a sense of spirituality can be a great supplement to wisdom. On the other hand, I think everyone can think of someone who used their “fear of the Lord” to become moral monsters or close-minded bigots.

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SGGS:

Every soul was once part of God, the Supreme Soul. He separated each soul from Himself for its individual journey to experience various realms in different reincarnations.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀~ ~ ~
As the water merges with water, the individual soul merges with the Supreme Soul. The wanderings are over and you attain an ever restful state.

I find it to be an incredibly empowering belief to view our lives as streams of consciousness originating from an ultimate consciousness source. I love the imagery invoked in this passage of small streams of water merging with the ocean of water referred to here as the Supreme Soul (my preferred term is Universal Self). I don’t believe in a permanent “soul” and thus also reject the concept of reincarnation (I subscribe to rebirth), but I also realize that this can get somewhat semantic, so am less allergic to these terms than I have been in the past.

The only way to tackle these ‘others’ is to make them our own – embrace Oneness. With this shift in thinking the others become our ‘own.’ Now their success is our success and their defeat our defeat. There is no enemy now, no competitor. We are all part of Oneness.

There is a beautiful passage in the Bible which reads, “Rejoice with those rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” However, I have found that this practice can be incredibly difficult without a sense of Oneness: that we are inextricably connected to others, such that we experience their happiness as our own, and their pain as our own. This is also a great way to avoid getting sucked into a zero-sum-game mentality about our success versus the success of others. How can this sense of Oneness be cultivated? For me, one extremely helpful tool is lovingkindness meditation.

To be able to say that you are nothing, or that you know nothing is the hall mark of real humility. The more frequently a person says, “I know nothing” the more spiritually enlightened he is likely to be.

Humility is a greatly undervalued virtue in our society. Confidence is a phenomenal skill to possess, but without the bedrock of humility, it all just becomes a lot of hot air without any substance.

Truth is high, but even higher is truthful living.

This sentiment I resonate with deeply. Truth in the abstract to me is almost entirely meaningless. If it doesn’t translate into a fuller perspective of the world around me, or a more informed decision-making process, I think a fixation on truth can sometimes do more harm than good.

CONCLUSION: The Apocrypha read very similarly to the Old Testament both in content and structure. I have about the same level of respect for it as I do the Old Testament, which is to say, not much. The SGGS had some truly beautiful passages, but ultimately its insistence on the SGGS as being the only true path to holiness, its validation of intercessory prayer, and its belief in an interventionist deity count as huge marks against its usefulness.

Namaste.

I have completed monthly challenges in the past that have been extremely physically difficult or time-consuming. Last month’s challenge wasn’t either of those, and yet it was one of the best challenges I have completed successfully to date. Sometimes the best things really are the simplest ones.

What I learned from the challenge:

• Writing down positive beliefs about yourself has intrinsic benefits. This is the first and most basic lesson from this month. The simple act of writing down these affirmations imparted value, irrespective of whether I verbalized them or used them as a motivation for particular actions. Beliefs have tremendous power over our lives, even in the abstract.
• Verbalizing intellectual beliefs can transform them into felt beliefs. Whatever power beliefs have in the abstract, they are 100x more impactful when they reside at the core of our being. These are the ones we don’t have to repeatedly convince ourselves of intellectually, because we live and breathe them on a daily basis. The easiest way to acquire felt beliefs is to have a powerful set of experiences or the general validation of our social group. However, repeated verbalization can be a great supplement to these interactions OR a stand-in when they aren’t available.
• Utilizing the progressive tense in affirmations promotes skillful action. First, let me explain what progressive tense means for those of us that don’t remember English class (like me!). Progressive tense is a type of present tense which involves an action that is currently ongoing. For example, consider the two statements below:
  

  I give myself space to grow and learn.
  I am giving myself space to grow and learn.

  The first of these utilizes simple present tense. It describes the general state of being for something. “I give myself space to grow and learn” means I am the type of person that does this but doesn’t necessarily mean I am doing this right now. The second statement utilizes progressive present tense. It describes what is happneing right now! The most powerful affirmations are ones that actualize the moment you are currently in, not just ones that generally desribe you.

What I want to continue going forward:

• Continue using affirmations at night. This seemed to be the time I could most consistently utilize them. I have reserved the last few minutes of the day, right before I go to bed, to be used either for affirmations, gratitude journaling, or Buddhist discussion groups. I want to utilize affirmations at least twice per week.
• Take a closer look at one affirmation each weekend. Affirmations are only as powerful as the understanding and appreciation we have of the words being used. For example, I have a couple affirmations that begin with the words:
  

  I am worthy…

  Of course, for these affirmations to have any real meaning and worth (pardon the pun), there needs to be a clear definition of the word ‘worth.’ Is worth intrinsic or contingent? If intrinsic, would this mean that everyone has the same worth regardless of their actions or beliefs? If contingent, what factors is it based on? For the record, my current line of thought is to view worth as contingent, but based solely on a person’s true intention, not their actions.

The last thing I will say with respect to affirmations is that they can be ANYTHING you want them to be. If you find the a lot of the pre-made ones on positive thinking apps or websites too hacky, too general, or too woo, then create your own and use whatever wording speaks to you. If nothing else, it should provide some clarity on your deepest desires, thoughts, and feelings.

Namaste.

I think I have disliked downtime since I was 12 years old and had no idea what to do with my racing thoughts and crippling emotions. My adolescent solution: constantly be doing something so I didn’t have to sit with them. Since that time, and after much therapy and meditation, my ability to sit with my thoughts and emotions has greatly increased. However, I still often feel this baseline of restlessness.

Sunday was the first day of a new month. My goal this month involves my attitude towards downtime and has three objectives.

1. Take a moment to OBSERVE – What this means is to just acknwoledge and fully feel my emotions and sensations without acting on them or identifying with them when in downtime situations. I can even set a timer for this purpose if that helps.
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2. Don’t just wait – After I have given myself some space to just be with my thoughts and emotions (and taken some deep breaths), I would like to use skillful action. I don’t have specific actions I want to take or thoughts I want to think, but I do want to involve my mind or body in something skillful – skillful being the key word here. Some obvious options include:
   • Daily thoughts: create mind castle that I am periodically adding to
   • Meditation
   • Yoga pose: the best candidates are standing deep breathing, half moon pose, awkward pose, and eagle pose
   • Push-ups
   • Planks
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3. Create daily downtime – In order to maximize what I learn from this challenge, I need to ensure I have plenty of opportunities to practice. In case I don’t have a specific circumstance that involves downtime during the day (and this excludes my daily commute), I need to be creative in giving myself these opportunities, which is generally the opposite of my natural instinct. Ways of doing this can include:
   • Buying something at Walmart and waiting in line
   • Showing up for dinner early
   • Immediately going down to get printouts from printer before it has finished
   • Bringing work over to ISS room without calling and waiting for them to get back
   • Utilize downtime protocol instead of doing other things while waiting for ads to finish

I am not including larger segments of downtime in this challenge specifically. Usually these situations, like waiting for an appointment, will involve reading a book or listening to an audiobook or podcast. For this month, I am more concerned with the smaller chunks of downtime during the day where I cannot easily just turn on something to listen to or pull out a book.

May you find a sense of peace and purpose in the in-between periods of your life and daily existence.

Namaste.

Today I would like to review the two Taoist books I read along with the Seventh-Day Adventist supplement. There are three principle Tao texts: the Tao Te Ching, Lieh Tzu, Chuang Tzu. Authorship of the Tao Te Ching (or Dao De Jing) is credited to the sage Laozi; I commented on this work during my philosophy book skimming challenge a couple years ago. The other two texts are named after their primary authors.

I have found all three Taoist works I’ve read to be fascinating, if somewhat esoteric and vague at times. This lack of verbal clarity, however, may be a feature and not a bug according to some of the quotes I will share and comment on. Of all of the various religious texts I have read, these are the only ones I might go back and read again, perhaps even in their entirety. The quotes below are taken from both the Lieh Tzu and the Chuang Tzu.

From what I have heard the Master say,’ replied Tzŭ Hsia, ‘the man who achieves harmony with Tao enters into close unison with external objects, and none of them has the power to harm or hinder him. Passing through solid metal or stone, walking in the midst of fire or on the surface of water — all these things become possible to him.’

The description given above sounds an awful lot like some of the feats that are attributed to Jesus, like passing through walls or walking on water. Maybe Jesus, Buddha, and many other iconic religious founders were infused with Tao, whatever that may mean.

The perfect man ignores self; the divine man ignores action; the true Sage ignores reputation.
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For the perfect man employs his mind as a mirror. It grasps nothing: it refuses nothing. It receives, but does not keep. And thus he can triumph over matter, without injury to himself.

This analogy is a beautiful description of non-attachment. Non-attachment to identity, non-attachment to action, non-attachment to reputation. A mirror reflects anything that has light bouncing off of it, but doesn’t hold on to any of these things. It’s true nature is beyond the things it reflects, so those objects cannot harm it.

Only from subjective knowledge is it possible to proceed to objective knowledge.
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When subjective and objective are both without their correlates, that is the very axis of TAO. And when that axis passes through the centre at which all Infinities converge, positive and negative alike blend into an infinite ONE.

I called in to an atheist talk show featuring Matt Dillahunty a couple of weeks ago. One of the things I tried to argue was that truth at its most foundational level has to be subjective. Everyone is inevitably trapped by their own perception – cue Decartes. What does the second part of that quote mean? I’m not sure, but it gives me the feels. I deeply resonate with the prhrase ‘infinte ONE.’ Guess I’m going woo after all this time.

Once upon a time, I, Chuang Tzŭ, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of following my fancies as a butterfly, and was unconscious of my individuality as a man. Suddenly, I awaked, and there I lay, myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

I could not talk about the Tao scriptures without referencing this quote. I’ve heard this several times before but never knew where it came from. It does such a beautiful job of highlighting how much we are inextricably bound by perception. However, if we can release our attachment to aboslute truth, this doesn’t have to be disturbing. In fact, in can be quite liberating.

Those who discuss it, speak of it as ‘the obscure.’ But the mere fact of discussing Tao makes it not TAO.” TAO makes things what they are, but is not itself a thing. Nothing can produce TAO; yet everything has TAO within it, and continues to produce it without end.
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TAO is something beyond material existences. It cannot be conveyed either by words or by silence. In that state which is neither speech nor silence, its transcendental nature may be apprehended.

This is almost exactly my sentiment and language when asked to define and/or describe my spiritual beliefs. I would say the central purpose of the Taoist scriptures is to expound on the Tao. However, you can peruse them all you wish and will be hard pressed to give a coherent description of exactly what is the Tao. Is it a fundamental force of the universe? Is it the ultimate dialectic? Is it a state of non-attachment with individuality and union with the infinite?

I have a sense of the divine but the more I talk about it the less it sounds like what I actually feel and believe. Perhaps this is the nature of things that are trully transcendental in nature. They are things which can be experienced far better than they can be explained.

Those who devote themselves to cultivation of the inner man, though occupying no position, feel no shame.

Shame has been my constant companion ever since I dropped out of med school. Shame while talking about my past with others. Shame in my current job. Shame about my finances. One of the best and only ways I have found to effectively deal with shame is to rewrite the narrative of my life from the lens of the inner man, not the external trappings. It isn’t always effective, but at least it provides a perspective independent of current circumstances or feelings.

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The Seventh-Day Adventist book I read was Steps to Christ by Ellen G. White. I only made a handful of highlights from this book. Below are two fragments from different passages that seemed to go together.

Beware of procrastination. Do not put off the work of forsaking your sins.
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Many are quieting a troubled conscience with the thought that they can change a course of evil when they choose; that they can trifle with the invitations of mercy, and yet be again and again impressed. They think that after doing depsite to the Spirit of grace, after casting their influence on the side of Satan, in a moment of terrible extremity they can change their course. But this is not so easily done.

I have lived the painful reality of these words.  Let me clarify. I don’t believe Satan exists. However, I thought for a long time that I could willpower myself out of an attachment when I really needed to do so. That belief nearly ended me, somewhat literally. I now choose to address each of my “sins,” if you want to call them that, as promptly as possible, but always with self-compassion and utilizing middle path.

CONCLUSION: I found all of the Taoist scriptures fascinating reads and will definitely peruse them again at some point. Steps to Christ by Ellen White I just found overly preachy for the most part, but with a few apt adomitions.

Namaste.

Today, I would like to give my thoughts on the Rig Veda and the Book of Mormon. First off, some general thoughts. The Rig Veda was an EXTREMELY repetitive tome that continuously entreated 33 different devas (or gods) to defeat enemies, bring prosperity, and deliver wisdom.

I read a primer on the Book of Mormon for this project. Honestly, the most valuable thing I gleaned from it was not from the Book of Mormon itself but from a quote that was used in the commentary, “The chains of habit are too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” Otherwise, it felt like a less poetic version of the Bible.

The most prominent aspect of the Rig Veda is the Soma, which can confusingly refer to a plant, a ritual drink, or a deity. Below are a selection of passages highlighting the essence of the Soma.

Sit on the sacred grass to drink the Soma juice.

Drink boldly of the Soma juice.

O Soma flowing on thy way, win thou and conquer high renown; And make us better than we are. Win thou the light, win heavenly light, and, Soma, all felicities; And make us better than we are. Win skilful strength and mental power. O Soma, drive away our foes; And make us better than we are.

Flow onward, Soma, flow to bring prosperity: cleansed by the men, invest thee with the milky draught. What gladdening drinks thou hast, foaming, exceeding strong, even with these incite Indra to give us wealth.

Flow on, Sage Soma, with thy stream to give us mental power and strength, Effused for Indra, for his drink, for Mitra and for Varuna.

Drink of this meath, O Indra, thou, and Visnu; drink ye your fill of Soma, Wonder-Workers. The sweet exhilarating juice hath reached you. Hear ye my prayers, give ear unto my calling.

The draught made swift with rapturous joy, effectual with its mighty strength, All-conquering, distilling transport, let him drink: for he in ecstasy gives us gifts.

In Soma‘s ecstasy Indra spread the firmament and realms of light, When he cleft Vala limb from limb.

Now, verily, will I declare the exploits, mighty and true, of him the True and Mighty. In the Trikadrukas he drank the Soma then in its rapture Indra slew the Dragon. High heaven unsupported in space he stablished: he filled the two worlds and the air’s mid-region. Earth he upheld, and gave it wide expansion. These things did Indra in the Soma‘s rapture.

The Soma referenced inthe Rig Veda was most likely a mushroom, specifically the Amanita muscaria. This is one of the most iconic toadstools in existence, used to great effect in the Mario franchise. Below is a picture of this psychedelic fungi perhaps used by the Hindu authors.

I would not be suprised to find that most religious origin stories have a psychedelic component to them. This seems to definitely be the case here. Some might think this denigrates the religion. However, I choose to take the opposite conclusion: that it venerates the appropriate usage of mind-altering substances, many of which can be found organically in nature.

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For the selected verses from the Book of Mormon that I read, there is only one I want to quote here. It sounds strikingly similar to Galatians 3:28.

There were no robbers, nor murderers, neither were there Lamanites, nor any manner of      -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.

I love hearing expressions of unity that cut across socio-political lines. Unfortunately, in the context of a religious book, it probably is NOT meant to cut across religious lines. However, I will still take it. The more religions sound like this, the better they become in my opinion.

Other than the opportunity to take a glance into the thoughts behind these two religions, I didn’t find either of them particularly insightful. I’m looking forward next week to commenting on the two Taoist works I read. More to come.

Namaste.