Today I would like to review the two Taoist books I read along with the Seventh-Day Adventist supplement. There are three principle Tao texts: the Tao Te Ching, Lieh Tzu, Chuang Tzu. Authorship of the Tao Te Ching (or Dao De Jing) is credited to the sage Laozi; I commented on this work during my philosophy book skimming challenge a couple years ago. The other two texts are named after their primary authors.

I have found all three Taoist works I’ve read to be fascinating, if somewhat esoteric and vague at times. This lack of verbal clarity, however, may be a feature and not a bug according to some of the quotes I will share and comment on. Of all of the various religious texts I have read, these are the only ones I might go back and read again, perhaps even in their entirety. The quotes below are taken from both the Lieh Tzu and the Chuang Tzu.

From what I have heard the Master say,’ replied Tzŭ Hsia, ‘the man who achieves harmony with Tao enters into close unison with external objects, and none of them has the power to harm or hinder him. Passing through solid metal or stone, walking in the midst of fire or on the surface of water — all these things become possible to him.’

The description given above sounds an awful lot like some of the feats that are attributed to Jesus, like passing through walls or walking on water. Maybe Jesus, Buddha, and many other iconic religious founders were infused with Tao, whatever that may mean.

The perfect man ignores self; the divine man ignores action; the true Sage ignores reputation.
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For the perfect man employs his mind as a mirror. It grasps nothing: it refuses nothing. It receives, but does not keep. And thus he can triumph over matter, without injury to himself.

This analogy is a beautiful description of non-attachment. Non-attachment to identity, non-attachment to action, non-attachment to reputation. A mirror reflects anything that has light bouncing off of it, but doesn’t hold on to any of these things. It’s true nature is beyond the things it reflects, so those objects cannot harm it.

Only from subjective knowledge is it possible to proceed to objective knowledge.
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When subjective and objective are both without their correlates, that is the very axis of TAO. And when that axis passes through the centre at which all Infinities converge, positive and negative alike blend into an infinite ONE.

I called in to an atheist talk show featuring Matt Dillahunty a couple of weeks ago. One of the things I tried to argue was that truth at its most foundational level has to be subjective. Everyone is inevitably trapped by their own perception – cue Decartes. What does the second part of that quote mean? I’m not sure, but it gives me the feels. I deeply resonate with the prhrase ‘infinte ONE.’ Guess I’m going woo after all this time.

Once upon a time, I, Chuang Tzŭ, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of following my fancies as a butterfly, and was unconscious of my individuality as a man. Suddenly, I awaked, and there I lay, myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

I could not talk about the Tao scriptures without referencing this quote. I’ve heard this several times before but never knew where it came from. It does such a beautiful job of highlighting how much we are inextricably bound by perception. However, if we can release our attachment to aboslute truth, this doesn’t have to be disturbing. In fact, in can be quite liberating.

Those who discuss it, speak of it as ‘the obscure.’ But the mere fact of discussing Tao makes it not TAO.” TAO makes things what they are, but is not itself a thing. Nothing can produce TAO; yet everything has TAO within it, and continues to produce it without end.
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TAO is something beyond material existences. It cannot be conveyed either by words or by silence. In that state which is neither speech nor silence, its transcendental nature may be apprehended.

This is almost exactly my sentiment and language when asked to define and/or describe my spiritual beliefs. I would say the central purpose of the Taoist scriptures is to expound on the Tao. However, you can peruse them all you wish and will be hard pressed to give a coherent description of exactly what is the Tao. Is it a fundamental force of the universe? Is it the ultimate dialectic? Is it a state of non-attachment with individuality and union with the infinite?

I have a sense of the divine but the more I talk about it the less it sounds like what I actually feel and believe. Perhaps this is the nature of things that are trully transcendental in nature. They are things which can be experienced far better than they can be explained.

Those who devote themselves to cultivation of the inner man, though occupying no position, feel no shame.

Shame has been my constant companion ever since I dropped out of med school. Shame while talking about my past with others. Shame in my current job. Shame about my finances. One of the best and only ways I have found to effectively deal with shame is to rewrite the narrative of my life from the lens of the inner man, not the external trappings. It isn’t always effective, but at least it provides a perspective independent of current circumstances or feelings.

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The Seventh-Day Adventist book I read was Steps to Christ by Ellen G. White. I only made a handful of highlights from this book. Below are two fragments from different passages that seemed to go together.

Beware of procrastination. Do not put off the work of forsaking your sins.
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Many are quieting a troubled conscience with the thought that they can change a course of evil when they choose; that they can trifle with the invitations of mercy, and yet be again and again impressed. They think that after doing depsite to the Spirit of grace, after casting their influence on the side of Satan, in a moment of terrible extremity they can change their course. But this is not so easily done.

I have lived the painful reality of these words.  Let me clarify. I don’t believe Satan exists. However, I thought for a long time that I could willpower myself out of an attachment when I really needed to do so. That belief nearly ended me, somewhat literally. I now choose to address each of my “sins,” if you want to call them that, as promptly as possible, but always with self-compassion and utilizing middle path.

CONCLUSION: I found all of the Taoist scriptures fascinating reads and will definitely peruse them again at some point. Steps to Christ by Ellen White I just found overly preachy for the most part, but with a few apt adomitions.

Namaste.

Today, I would like to give my thoughts on the Rig Veda and the Book of Mormon. First off, some general thoughts. The Rig Veda was an EXTREMELY repetitive tome that continuously entreated 33 different devas (or gods) to defeat enemies, bring prosperity, and deliver wisdom.

I read a primer on the Book of Mormon for this project. Honestly, the most valuable thing I gleaned from it was not from the Book of Mormon itself but from a quote that was used in the commentary, “The chains of habit are too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” Otherwise, it felt like a less poetic version of the Bible.

The most prominent aspect of the Rig Veda is the Soma, which can confusingly refer to a plant, a ritual drink, or a deity. Below are a selection of passages highlighting the essence of the Soma.

Sit on the sacred grass to drink the Soma juice.

Drink boldly of the Soma juice.

O Soma flowing on thy way, win thou and conquer high renown; And make us better than we are. Win thou the light, win heavenly light, and, Soma, all felicities; And make us better than we are. Win skilful strength and mental power. O Soma, drive away our foes; And make us better than we are.

Flow onward, Soma, flow to bring prosperity: cleansed by the men, invest thee with the milky draught. What gladdening drinks thou hast, foaming, exceeding strong, even with these incite Indra to give us wealth.

Flow on, Sage Soma, with thy stream to give us mental power and strength, Effused for Indra, for his drink, for Mitra and for Varuna.

Drink of this meath, O Indra, thou, and Visnu; drink ye your fill of Soma, Wonder-Workers. The sweet exhilarating juice hath reached you. Hear ye my prayers, give ear unto my calling.

The draught made swift with rapturous joy, effectual with its mighty strength, All-conquering, distilling transport, let him drink: for he in ecstasy gives us gifts.

In Soma‘s ecstasy Indra spread the firmament and realms of light, When he cleft Vala limb from limb.

Now, verily, will I declare the exploits, mighty and true, of him the True and Mighty. In the Trikadrukas he drank the Soma then in its rapture Indra slew the Dragon. High heaven unsupported in space he stablished: he filled the two worlds and the air’s mid-region. Earth he upheld, and gave it wide expansion. These things did Indra in the Soma‘s rapture.

The Soma referenced inthe Rig Veda was most likely a mushroom, specifically the Amanita muscaria. This is one of the most iconic toadstools in existence, used to great effect in the Mario franchise. Below is a picture of this psychedelic fungi perhaps used by the Hindu authors.

I would not be suprised to find that most religious origin stories have a psychedelic component to them. This seems to definitely be the case here. Some might think this denigrates the religion. However, I choose to take the opposite conclusion: that it venerates the appropriate usage of mind-altering substances, many of which can be found organically in nature.

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For the selected verses from the Book of Mormon that I read, there is only one I want to quote here. It sounds strikingly similar to Galatians 3:28.

There were no robbers, nor murderers, neither were there Lamanites, nor any manner of      -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.

I love hearing expressions of unity that cut across socio-political lines. Unfortunately, in the context of a religious book, it probably is NOT meant to cut across religious lines. However, I will still take it. The more religions sound like this, the better they become in my opinion.

Other than the opportunity to take a glance into the thoughts behind these two religions, I didn’t find either of them particularly insightful. I’m looking forward next week to commenting on the two Taoist works I read. More to come.

Namaste.

I started my ‘gleaning insights from holy books’ challenge last September, but got derailed and ended up finishing it up in 2024. The next few posts will be excerpts I found interesting or informative from these ancient works.

I used Kindle Unlimited for the challenge, which I highly recommend for anyone wishing to extract notable quotes or stories from a book. There is a handy highlighter tool which allows you to quickly mark the parts you find interesting. These notes and highlights stay available even if you later cancel your subscription.

Let me start with the first text I read: The Quran. I am not going to give the specific location of these passages, because honestly I do not care. If you really want the exact reference, feel free to copy and paste the quote into google and you can probably locate it fairly easily.

Observe the ˹five obligatory˺ prayers—especially the middle prayer—and stand in true devotion to Allah.

I don’t believe the words ‘five obligatory’ are in the original Quran, but this is the principal passage from which the second pillar of Islam, Salat, is derived. I completed a challenge based on this practice. I found it to be a very grounding ritual and would like to install a modified version into my life going forward at some point.

Let there be no compulsion in religion, for the truth stands out clearly from falsehood.
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They wish you would disbelieve as they have disbelieved, so you may all be alike. So do not take them as allies unless they emigrate in the cause of Allah. But if they turn away, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them.

I found quite a lot of this in the Quran:  two injunctions that seem to be diametrically opposed to each other. It is similar to the Bible in this respect. Maybe texts this large that are compilations of smaller segments are bound to clash in this respect – I don’t know. I guess this is why depending on which passage you quote, you can say that Islam is a religion of peace, or a religion of piece – as in ‘there’s a piece of you here, a piece of you over there’ (pun borrowed from Bill Maher).

And whoever rejects the faith, all their good deeds will be void ˹in this life˺ and in the Hereafter they will be among the losers.

This word ‘loser’ was used quite a lot for a holy book. Maybe it was the nature of the translation. There seemed to be quite an attachment to being ‘the winners’ and ‘vindicated’ throughout the book. I find the attachment to ‘winning’ to be a major factor in causing suffering, so I avoid framing life in this context whenever I can.

As for male and female thieves, cut off their hands for what they have done—a deterrent from Allah.

There can definitely be progressive Muslims. In fact, Muslims in America are one of the religious groups most likely to be tolerant and accepting of the beliefs and practices of others. However, passages like this do their cause no favors!

Indeed, the worst of all beings in the sight of Allah are those who persist in disbelief, never to have faith.

Really? The worst of all beings are not the Hitlers and Pol Pots of the world. No, it is those that don’t believe in a deity? Give me a break (and this is from someone who DOES believe in transcendence)! The Quran and other holy texts like it can yell at its readers all it wants to, but that doesn’t make what it says true. You’d need actual evidence for that.

Inform My servants ˹O Prophet˺ that I am truly the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful, and that My torment is indeed the most painful.

The phrase All-Forgiving, Most Merciful or something similar was used in almost every chapter of the entire book. But what followed in the passage would often directly undermine this in its content. It was almost as if they had to keep saying this over and over again, because it is the only possible way you could believe it.

So whoever believes in Allah and does good, He will absolve them of their sins and admit them into Gardens under which rivers flow, to stay there for ever and ever. That is the ultimate triumph. As for those who disbelieve and reject Our revelations, they will be the residents of the Fire, staying there forever.

I find the Muslim concept of Heaven and Hell to be slightly superior to the Christian one since it isn’t entirely about belief, but also requires “doing good.” However, this dichotomous afterlife framework in general is deeply disempowering and frankly (to me at least) the most unlikely of all possible scenarios.

CONCLUSION: So, all in all, the Quran was a very uninspiring and heavy-handed tome, but sprinkled with the rare progressive idea or enlightening thought.

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For the second text I want to review today, we will switch gears and look at Shinto. I read an introduction and not the actual Kojiki, so this will be much briefer.

However, the reality is that Kami is an omnipresent existence in Shinto. Kami is present inside the water and the air. It blends in with Nature. It is an existence which does not need to be emphasized nor highlighted.

Shinto embraces a version of pantheism or animism. Though I don’t subscribe to either of these philosophies, my perspective is closely related to them, so I feel a kinship with a lot of Eastern religions that seem to adopt this concept in some fashion. I believe the most empowering belief in transcendence is much more of a visceral sensation or feeling than a spoken belief or argued thought.

One senses the existence of Kami and receives intuition through gratitude.
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One should check that the intuition is not expressed in a strong imperative tone, and that it is not detrimental nor threatening to others.

I powerfully resonate with this! Not suprising I suppose considering my New Years intention is choosing gratitude. I think I used to view gratitude as a response to intuition, but I think the reverse is the more proper relationship. However, these intuitive insights are not infallible and should be calibrated with humility and empathy.

It starts with the repetition of the words “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”, said with a compassionate intention to the inner child as if to comfort a baby. This leads to the dissolution of core memories that are at the origin of issues, and enables to create a perfectly balanced state. This method’s advantage is that one is able to work directly on the core reasons of issues without wasting time.

This is an excerpt dealing with a process in Shinto of “cleaning” the mind.” Consciousness is divided into 3 phases: regular (surface) consciousness, sub-consciousness (deep), and super-consciousness (divine). By utilizing the 4 phrases above, one can bypass the subconscious and directly tap into Divine inspiration and healing. I am definitely interested in trying this out!

CONCLUSION: Shinto seems like a lovely, if somewhat quaint religious tradition. I’m fairly certain I would hit it off well with its followers and would love to meet some. Maybe I already have and just didn’t know it.

More reflections to come soon.

Namaste.

I haven’t done a monthly challenge since last Fall. Today is the first day of the second astronomical month of this year and the perfect time to get back into a challenge-minset with something that should not be a time sink. Affirmations are a great way to realign oneself with thier core values and identity when in the midst of a challenging circumstance.

I already have 12 affirmations which resonate with me saved on the Gratitude app. These are:

• I love and care for my body and it cares for me.
• I am worthy of beautiful endings and exciting beginnings.
• I will be my own best advocate.
• My mind is strong and disciplined.
• I am ready and open to receiving good things in my life.
• I am capable and calm in any situation.
• I am worthy of being loved, being happy, and doing what brings me joy.
• I am always finding something to appreciate around me.
• Every person I meet can teach me something; I am grateful for their wisdom.
• I am loving myself to the fullest.
• I am giving myself space to grow and learn.
• I am passionate about my goals and have a burning desire to fulfill them!

My challenge this month is very simple:

Say all of the affirmations OUT LOUD at least once per day!

This can be done all at once either by utilizing the Gratitude app or just remembering them on my own. I can also do a couple here and there throughout the day.

Some ideal times I think I will try to utilize are:

• First thing in the morning – This is often the point of greatest struggle for me right now. Once I have momentum, I have developed a lot of skills to maintain that momentum and increase it when possible and appropriate. However, getting out of bed almost invariably feels like a chore. My back is incredibly achy from being immobile for 8ish hours, and my mind is often cranky, espeically if I kept drifting into and out of sleep.
• Last thing before bed – I know that setting a positive tone heading into sleep is more likely to allow my to drift off sooner and enjoy more restful sleep and dreams. Sometimes when I have a lot of things to take care off at the end of a day, my mind can feel overactive and ill-suited for rest. Affirmations could be a great way to reestablish a sense of equanimity.
• In the car to and from work – Even if I just picked a couple to do during this time, I believe it could be very beneficial in grounding me. If I am driving at the start of my day, accept the day for whatever it will be. If I am driving at the end of my day, accept the day for what it was. Breathe.

This is a fairly simple challenge, but one I am looking forward to actualizing. If you are interested in creating some of your own affirmations, this blog post has some hints for how to craft them. You can also find plenty of ready-made ones online or in a variety of positive thinking apps.

Namaste.

It has been ages since I posted. Toward the end of September, I fell into major depression again. Why that happened is not the purpose of this entry. One thing I will say about my experience with depressive states is that even though their incidence hasn’t decreased all that much since a few years ago when it was REALLY bad, their duration and my utter confusion in the midst of them has declined significantly. I sometimes tell people that I have become skilled at navigating these states more gracefully, and maybe that has to be enough, at least at this point.

A new year is already upon us in earnest! My new year actually started on January 12th and not on the 1st. Read an earlier post on my calendar here. Anyone who knows me well knows that over the past 5 years, I have struggled immensely with chronic pain and depression. In 2020, I dropped out of med school after experiencing two successive mental breakdowns.

Since that time, simply navigating daily life has often been a challenge. I still suffer from chronic pain which wasn’t helped a couple years ago by my major bike accident which basically tore off my left calf muscle. I still suffer from drop foot to this day. On top of that, I have been plagued with major identity crises and a general dissatisfaction with life.

One of the tools I have tried to use on and off in dealing with depression and shame is gratitude. I even did a monthly challenge on it a few years ago. I experienced more restful sleep and sustained a more positive attitude throughout the month – seemingly a great success! However, since getting off the challenge, I have hit some major roadblocks being grateful on a regular basis.

• Guilt/resentment – I have felt envious of friends or family that expressed thanks over something in their life which I lacked and didn’t want to be the cause of this for someone else. Also, if the blessing I was expressing gratitude for was not something universally available, I felt a bit elitist acknowledging it (almost like I was saying, “I’m glad I’m not them”).
• Fear of complacency – Sometimes I felt like being grateful for something implied a level of acceptance with the status quo that I internally rebelled against. “I’m grateful I have a job,” felt like settling for less than my potential.
• Lack of a “good” reason – By far, this was the biggest hang-up. I viewed gratitude as a response to something “good” in life. However, sometimes life just sucked! In fact, I found this to be the rule more than the exception. Then I would have this guilt attack:
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  “REALLY! You can’t think of ONE thing to be thankful for?”
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  I could, but that didn’t feel like genuine gratitude and came without the positive benefits I had experienced previously.

My intention this year is to choose gratitude. The wording of this combats the last of the roadblocks mentioned above. I choose to view gratitude as an intention and not a response. I don’t have to wait for something “good” to happen; I can choose gratitude when life is just neutral or even really sucky!

How do I accomplish this? Well, there is the shallow explanation and the deep explanation. Let’s start with the surface-level. I choose to view everything in life as either a blessing or a challenge. If a blessing, recognize the uniqueness of my life and experience and embrace the experience with gratitude without getting attached to it. If a challenge, acknowledge that all major growth and development occurs by overcoming challenges and be grateful for the opportunity to build resilience and character.

Now, this is all fine and dandy, and is simple enough you might see similar sentiments written on an inspirational card or in an affirmation deck. However, there comes a point of stress/pain/shame beyond which I find it impossible to keep up this “challenge mindset.” My chronic pain having a huge flare-up is a good example. I can manage it and it will subside some, but it will never go away. It doesn’t feel like a “challenge;” it is just a burden.

There is only so far this surface rationale for gratitude can take me. To go farther, I have to swim into the deep waters. These deep waters should not be trod in lightly, so I will save my extensive thoughts on these for a follow-up post. For now, just know that it involves adopting 2 empowering beliefs:

1. Nothing is lost in the universe. Everyone generally accepts this when it comes to matter and energy. As a science teacher, one of the biggest concepts I hope my students walk away with is that both matter and energy can be changed, altered, and transformed; but never created or destroyed. The empowering belief I adopt extends this principle to consciousness as well. I realize this is not a minor assumption – whole schools of philosophy are built around arguing this point, so I will reserve my exposition for later.
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2. We reap what we sow. Again, everyone generally accepts this on a physical level: you are kind to someone, they are more likely to be kind to you in return. You work out, you are more likely to have greater fitness. The empowering belief I adopt extends this principle to the ongoing consciousness stream that is eternal (per the above assumption). How our current intentions and actions affect the flow of consciousness both in our current existence and beyond is what I call ‘karma.’ Again, a huge topic which I promise to address more formally.

The key thread that gives these beliefs their real power is that greater karma is directly linked with greater difficulty. Live consciously when it is “easy,” get a little bit of positive karma. Live consciously when it is “hard,” get a lot of positive karma.

Viewed in this way, everything truly becomes something I not only can be grateful for, but WANT to be grateful for! As with all good ideas however, experience is the real test. My intention this year is to fully embrace this mindset and then observe the results.

Namaste.

Close to a year ago, I did a challenge that involved skimming a lot of classic philosophy texts from the very ancient to the contemporary. Some of the most enduring and insightful concepts that I gathered were from the books on the list that might fit easier into a religious studies course than a philosophy course. The 2 books I am thinking about specifically are the Upanishads and the Dao De Jing.

The Upanishads introduced me to the dialectic of the personal self and the universal self, which allowed a reimagination of one of my purpose statements in a way that deeply connected me to the universe and all conscious entities therein. The Dao De Jing describes the Tao: a term that eludes any frozen definition, but which denotes the highest principle of the Universe, or “that which exists through itself.” Both of these texts allowed me to better grapple with my understanding and application of panendeism.

I have no desire or inclination to become a Hindu or a Taoist, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t benefit tremendously from reading some of the principal texts associated with these belief systems. I figure the same could be true of the other major religions that exist as well. The next 40 days then will be a journey through 9 of the largest world religions or sects.

Two notable omissions from the following list are any Buddhist texts and, of course, the Bible, as I have already spent a large amount of time with these. Without further ado, here is the list of religions ordered by number of adherents, and the holy book I will be perusing:

• Islam (1.9 billion) – Quran
• Catholicism/Orthodox Christianity (1.4 billion) – Apocrypha
• Hinduism (1.2 billion) – Rig Veda
• Sikhism (26 million) – Shri Guru Granth Sahib (An introduction)
• Seventh-day Adventism (22 million) – Steps to Christ (by Ellen G. White)
• Mormonism (17 million) – Book of Mormon (An overview)
• Judaism (15 million) – Talmud (2 books: one, an introduction; the other, a biography)
• Taoism (9 million) – Lieh Tzu and Chuang Tzu
• Shinto (4-88 million depending on source!)- Introduction to Shinto (by Yoshikawa Katsumi)

Like previously, I am utilizing Kindle Unlimited, which allows free access to all of the above works. The Sikhism holy book and the Babylonian Talmud were too lengthy, so I chose introductions to each of these for this challenge.

There are 3443 total pages I want to read by the end of the challenge.
For weekdays (70 pg/day):

• 10 pages first thing upon rising
• 5 pages right before lunch
• 15 pages before leaving for home (or before dinner)
• 30 pages after finished with yoga for the day and before bed
• 10 pages right before retiring for the day

For weekends (125 pg/day):

• 10 pages first thing upon rising
• Average 15 pages per hour during PAT segments

Like I did with my philosophy book skimming challenge, I will provide weekly reflections on things I’ve gleaned from reading these texts.

Namaste.

This blog post will just be a quick update on this month’s challenge. I want to delineate a couple specific requirements I am putting on myself as part of the challenge.

• Print out new hierarchy document each weekend – I like to think about the upcoming week during PAT and print up a hierarchy of activities, tasks, and projects to focus on daily and throughout the week. However, this can often be neglected and I just reuse one from a previous week or wing it. Productivity initiation is made much simpler if I have a plan in advance of the tasks I want to complete and the order in which I want to initiate them. I will make doing this the first priority of my weekend.
• Look at and update hierarchy as needed each day – Usually, I take a glance at my google KEEP notes once at the end of each day to see if there is anything that can’t wait to be addressed. I commit to doing the same with my printed hierarchy each day, whether this is to peruse the day ahead or to tweak the schedule based on the current day’s experience.
• Spend 5 minutes on hardest or most dreaded task each day – I will do this the very first thing upon arriving home from work. I give myself permission to spend more than 5 minutes, but I want to spend at least this much time facing whatever it is I most want to avoid in a manageable way each day.

The other requirement I am giving myself this month is with regards to my former monthly challenges. Although I am getting very skilled at creating and maintaining commitments during a challenge, I am less skilled at navigating the aftermath. How can I ensure I will reliably incorporate aspects of the challenge into my daily life going forward?

For this month, whenever I think about a previous challenge I want to do one thing to honor it. This applies regardless of my written evaluation and intention about the subject. For example:

• Push-up challenge – Do at least one push-up between classes I teach during the day.
• Purposeful spiritual connections – Do at least one of these sometime during the day for any length of time.
• Constant smiling – Flash one for 2 seconds whenever I think about it.

Obviously, I expect much of the time when I do this, I will be motivated to do more. The focus is on initiation and momentum. One of the biggest aids I am developing to deal with low motivation during times of depression is to set lower expectations and quickly initiate tasks instead of doing too much meticulous planning or front-loading my agenda.

Namaste.

This next month’s challenge is quite simple in its concept. One of the most mentally debilitating habits I picked up when I first started experiencing major depression was procrastination. This developed originally as a coping mechanism. I was a perfectionist with regards to my own achievements. At some point in medical school, it became impossible to maintain my desired level of perfectionism, but I didn’t know how to find a middle path. I would try harder and harder and harder, and then distract myself with what was increasingly becoming my TV addiction, though I didn’t realize or acknowledge it at the time.

I still have a lot of healing work to do in the area of mental health, both with managing depression and getting to abstinence in the area of my addiction. However, I am trending in the right direction at this point. One of the habits I want to install in my life is the initiation of productivity. Not any specific productivity metrics, just choosing to initiate tasks that I would rather avoid either because they are difficult, confusing, or just require a little more physical or mental energy than I want to output at that moment.

There are 2 basic methods that can be used to initiate productivity: action-based methods and time-based methods.

1. Action-based – This involves taking a specific and simple action or series of action to begin a project or activity, but without committing to going any further than that at the outset.
   • Running – Lace up (figuratively – my toe shoes don’t have laces), throw a jacket on if chilly, and run down the driveway. If I do that, it’s a success!
   • Blogging – Log in to my website, create a new post, enter a title, and type one sentence into the text area. After that, I can stop and not write another word.
   • Finances – Organize 3 receipts/bills by date. Open up Microsoft Money and enter in one transaction. After that, I can close down the program and not think about money for the rest of the day.
2.  Time-based
   • Intensive exercise – Pick out one exercise (biking, push-ups, planks, etc.), set a timer for 1 minute, and start workout. Once the timer beeps, I can choose whether to stop or continue.
   • Big project – Set a timer for 5 minutes and start diagramming my plan of action for completing the project. After timer beeps, save work.
   • Karma practices – This could be meditation, check-in, skill practice, etc. Cast lots to pick one and do it for 1 minute.

One of the biggest hurdles for me in the area of productivity is just choosing to start things. I can put off even simple projects for months because of this resistance. Oftentimes, once I start I end up doing much more than I required of myself and enjoying it in the process. Of course, this isn’t always true; sometimes perseverance is needed.

I am not requiring any specific productivity metrics be met this month. However, I expect that if I look back after the month is complete, my metrics will be increased without me necessarily having that as the goal. Getting over the inertia barrier is my biggest obstacle in most cases.

The challenge this month then is to NOT PROCRASTINATE. Start doing whatever I am avoiding, even if I just do one thing or only spend 1 minute on it. Perseverance is optional.

Namaste.

I have been quite lax in blogging lately. I finished my month of daily yoga and reading over a month ago and am just now evaluating it. I did not start a new challenge this past new moon day (Sunday), and am not planning on doing anything official for the rest of this month. However, I am continuing to taper my TV show viewing time with the goal of starting abstinence in this area on my birthday, February 8th.

Without further ado, let’s talk about my challenge at the end of last year. I started it Thanksgiving day and the goal was to get me back into some mentally and physically restorative routines. Unfortunately, I contracted both an upper respiratory infection and a stomach bug in the first few days of the challenge, which got me off to a bad start, and which I let throw me out of conscious alignment.

For this reason, I ended up neglecting the challenge quite a bit up until the last week and a half. In the spirit of the challenge, I attempted to make up for the time I had missed and went above and beyond, completing my goal with Bikram yoga and getting pretty close with the reading intention.

With that recap, here are some observations I have about the challenge and myself:

• Make general and specific contingency plans for ailments – Coming off of my highly successful ‘Month of 30,000 push-ups,’ I had high hopes both for the challenge and for the ending of the year in general. These got derailed due to my double sickness and especially the worst raging headache I’ve had in my life. Sickness, just like depression, is a challenging situation that must be handled with tenderness and skill in order to remain in conscious alignment. I want to learn to give myself the freedom to achieve less during these times while still operating in a conscientious and productive mindset.
• Allow each new day to be a reset regardless of what happened previously in the month – I default to a strong all-or-nothing mentality quite frequently if I’m not careful. Prior to my major depression, this was a source of extreme motivation which I enjoyed. However, recently, it has only caused more depression and procrastination. Especially in the area of challenges, I want each day to be a new opportunity for engagement. I want to leave my self-judgment at the door when I start each new day and instead embrace the power of now.
• Attempt making up for neglected time, but don’t require it – If I am back on track with the daily specifications of the challenge, then it is appropriate to make plans for recouping whatever missed opportunities occurred earlier in the month. This is admirable and in alignment with the spirit of the challenge. However, this should never be the first priority. Every challenge is more about showing up on a daily basis than about completing a certain number of minutes or reps of something.
• Consider finding zoom partners for exercise – By the end of the challenge, I was completing a full hot Bikram yoga session every day, and I LOVED it! However, once the challenge came to an end, so too did the yoga eventually, even for a shorter window of time each day. I intellectually and viscerally KNOW the benefits of Bikram yoga and exercise in general, but still struggle (immensely at times) to consistently incorporate this without the incentive of a challenge. The other option, therefore, is to find more zoom partners to exercise with, like I currently do with my sister on Friday nights.
• Look into book exchanges and discussion partners – I absolutely loved getting back into some more physical book reading. There is just something magical about holding a real paper book in your hand as opposed to reading online. I completed an online philosophy book skimming challenge a year ago, which I enjoyed, but I still miss physically holding a book, even if I do have to get somewhat creative to avoid generating back pain or tendinitis from the activity. I think what would motivate me to continue this practice would be to find some family or friends to exchange books with and have regular informal discussions about them.

While not on an official monthly challenge right now, I am planning on getting back to posting a blog post once a week for the rest of this month. This shouldn’t be too difficult as I already have topics for the next 3 posts planned out (evaluation of purposeful spiritual connection, TV abstinence, and productivity challenge).

Namaste.

Consciousness focusing is a technique that can be used in reprogramming your mind to free yourself from emotional addictions. It is especially useful when you are emotionally “hot.” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is another useful reporgramming tool, but is best utilized when a person is emotionally “cold” or accessing the more rational part of their mind.

This month’s challenge is inspired by my desire to engage in consciousness focusing. According to Ken Keyes Jr.,

Your most deep-seated beliefs were burned into your brain by trauma or repetition, especially at times when you were highly emotionally charged. The theory is, you can change them by working up high emotional voltage then pounding in the new programming with repetition.

Consciousness focusing works best after you have thoroughly intellectually convinced yourself it would be a good idea to get rid of the addiction, that you would definitely be better off without it. You don’t want any last minute reservations coming up once you raise your emotional voltage.

Consciousness focusing is probably most effective in a large sympathetic group where you don’t hold anything back when expressing yourself (including yelling and crying). However, it can also be done in a quiet way, just repeating your chosen phrase over and over to yourself meditatively as you sit, walk, jog or ride a bicycle.

Below are the highlights of this technique that I gleaned from the Handbook to Higher Consciousness:

1. Welcome the people and situations that can help you become clearly and strongly aware of your addictions.
2. Stop blaming the outside world when you are emotionally upset.
3. Whatever you tell yourself at this time is absolutely crucial so be sure to blame all of your uptightness on your emotional programming.
4. Be aware of the programmed automation of your biocomputer when you get emotionally upset.
5. Find the phrases and thoughts that generate the strongest emotions when you are upset; shout them as loud as you can over and over again.
6. Build up the voltage of your emotional responses.
7. Cry as much as possible – for crying helps you to reprogram faster.
8. Keep telling yourself that you programmed yourself many years ago and that you can deprogram that which you programmed.
9. Don’t let any person or any of your thoughts cool you down.
10. Develop the confidence that you can absolutely be the master of yourself.

I have wanted to utilize the consciousness focusing technique for quite some time, since reading about it and resonating with the concept. However, I found myself lacking a supporting spiritual medium to facilitate the practice. This is one of the benefits to having a religious or spiritual belief system that you regularly reinforce. It allows for a convenient on-ramp to connecting with your higher self.

This month’s challenge is about creating and sustaining that on-ramp, so that when I feel consciousness focusing would be effective, I have a prebuilt system of ramping up my emotional voltage that feels familiar and safe.

My objective, therefore, is to have regular daily communion with my higher self (call it God-consciousness, the Universe, or whatever helps me to plug in and connect). I am going to borrow from one of the pillars of Islam for this challenge: Salat (daily prayer), and set 5 times throughout the day to engage in communion.

• Before sunrise – Specifically, between civil dawn and sunrise, which is approximately 6:45 to 7:15AM right now.
• Midday (after the sun passes its highest) – Specifically, within 1/2 hour after solar noon, which right now is between 12:30-1:00PM.
• Late part of the afternoon – This one is more broad, but I would like to try to aim for between 3PM and 4PM.
• Just after sunset – Specifically, between sunset and civil dusk, which is approximately 5:30 to 6:00PM right now.
• Between sunset and midnight – This one has the most latitude, especially this time of year when sunset is so early. However, I am going to make a point of doing my last communion practice 15 minutes or so before retiring to bed for the day.

I want to “pray” for a minimum of 20 minutes each day, and a minimum of 2 minutes per communion session, though I want to keep track of the time informally so as not to have a rigid time structure affecting the practice.

The only other criteria I have is that I want to do all of my sessions outside on some type of mat. For now, a yoga mat will work just fine, though I might look into buying a special “prayer” mat as the challenge gets underway.

What I do during each session is entirely up to me in that moment. Chanting, bowing, thinking out loud, crying out, and repeating mantras are all great ways to engage the time, but none of them are required. The point is to focus on connection with my higher self/the Universe/God-consciousness and use whatever phrases or modalities accommodate this objective.

Namaste.