Ok, let me be clear up front: this blog is providing some of my current thoughts ON suicide, not my thoughts OF suicide – just in case there was any confusion or alarm at the title. However, the fact that I feel this unrestrainable urge to disclaim my mental state before going on to talk about this issue is part of the reason for this post today.

I vividly remember having strong passive suicidal ideation around 6 years ago when I was in medical school. I was studying for the STEP 1 exam at the time, didn’t have many friends, and had recently experienced a period of major depression. What ultimately removed these thoughts and feelings in my situation: I discovered Buddhism. More on that in a future post.

A bill was recently passed in England that allowed for assisted dying, a process by which a terminally ill person can work with healthcare professionals to decide on how to end their life painlessly in their own time. Similar processes are also legal in several other countries and US states.

Bodily integrity is what I believe should be the most basic value upheld by a society. I’ve detailed in a previous post why this, and not life, is the fundamental right. The Cliff Notes version can be elucidated by the question: would you rather have 50 years of living a normal life, or an eternity of living in pain. I think almost everyone, without a moment’s hesitation, would choose the former.

Bodily integrity isn’t bodily integrity unless you allow people to potentially do things that could seriously harm or even kill themselves. That is their choice. You want to prevent people that are mentally incompetent from doing hurtful things to themselves, but otherwise, it is not society’s job to police what people do with and to their bodies.

I recently listened to a Modern Wisdom podcast featuring Nedd Brockman, an ultramarathon philanthropist who ran 1000 miles around a track in 12 days. This is not a one-day Ironman (like I would like to complete), but an almost 2-week slog around a small oval again and again just tearing yourself down to the bone with very little sleep. Is this safe? I’m not sure, but even if the answer was a definite, “NO,” Nedd should still be allowed to do this. People should be allowed to smoke or eat what they want, sleep with who they want (provided it’s consensual), and wear what they want (provided it isn’t a public health risk).

If you support bodily integrity, you can’t draw lines and say you support it in this area but not in that one. That would mean you don’t REALLY support it at all. And with that being the case, suicide is one of those choices people might make.

I would love to see people’s language and perceptions around suicide change.

1. It isn’t always a bad thing; It can be beautiful in some contexts – I think that giving terminally ill people the ability to choose how they exit should not only be their right, but has the potential to be a wholesome and liberating process, provided the proper guardrails are in place to prevent foul play.
2. Even when we deem it unfortunate, it is not some deadly sin (even if it is deadly) –Catholicism teaches that anyone in their right mind who dies by suicide without repenting goes to hell for eternity. Talk about some serious moral implications! To be fair, most of the Protestant articles I browsed on the topic did not subscribe to this mentality. However, commit suicide, is still one of the most common ways of addressing someone’s choice to do this. I would recommend died by suicide as a more neutral option.
3. The best way to prevent suicide is to destigmatize talking about it – The vast majority of the time, when I hear someone has died by suicide, I view it as a horrible tragedy. However, I try not to judge people for taking this action. I also don’t express immediate shock when someone speaks in passive suicidal language (specifically talking about the act might prompt a different response). Instead, I try to validate the emotions they are currently feeling and let them know that they are not alone in their struggle.

In 2022, 13.2 million Americans seriously contemplated suicide and over 49,000 died by suicide, according to the CDC. The reasons for why suicide rates have been steadily increasing ever since the early 2000s are multifactorial. However, holding space for people experiencing these thoughts and emotions and choosing language that recognizes but doesn’t condemn suicide is a great way for everyone to become more understanding and compassionate.

The lovingkindness meditation I use everyday seems like a fitting way to end this post:

May we all be free from danger,
May we all be liberated,
May we all make friends with our bodies,
May lovingkindness manifest throughout all our lives.

Namaste.